How to Keep Your Teenager Healthy in the New School Year

Guest Post:

 

When I was a little girl, I ate whatever I wanted. When you're a young child running around at all hours of the day, having a cookie doesn't seem to do a bit of harm. The older you get, however, your body starts changing and caloric intake actually starts to mean something. After I entered my teenager years, my body started changing drastically. I, like many other teenagers, was going through a period of change, and my body was trying to adjust to all those changes. Yet nothing could have prepared me for the 30-pound weight gain that I experienced in the 7^th grade.

Looking back, I wish my mother and father would have taken more of an active interest during my hectic body transformation. It took me two years to get my weight back under control, and now that I'm a mother of two teenagers, I watch their health very closely. The beginning of a new school year can provide difficult challenges for those parents who are trying to keep an eye on their teenager's health. With everything from lack of exercise and unhealthy school lunches, your teenager has a number of obstacles to face when it comes to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Here are three tips in helping your teenagers keep their health as their number one priority.

Prepare breakfast and lunch

Though things have improved in the last few years, school lunches still aren't what they should be. I was shocked to go to my son's high-school orientation the other day to find that fried mozzarella sticks and chicken nuggets were the main menu staples. Sadly, schools have a tendency of overlooking the importance of health and nutrition; therefore, it's our jobs as parents to make sure our children are fed healthy, nutritious food. One way to keep an eye on your teenager's health is to prepare their breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Every morning, make it a priority to prepare healthy breakfast dishes, such as steel-cut oatmeal, fruit salads, high-fiber cereal, egg-white omelettes, and other nutritious breakfast options. Making your child's lunch is also a good idea also, seeing as they'll be choosing between different fried dishes if you don't. In fact, there are a number of great websites and blogs out there that provide delicious, affordable lunch ideas for students. Family dinners are a great way to keep an eye on what everybody is eating as well.

Make health a family priority

When I was growing up, health was something my family hardly ever talked about. I didn't know much about diabetes, nutrition, exercise, and dieting because discussing such matters wasn't a priority in our household. If you want your kid to care about their health, you need to teach them that they should. One of the best ways to educate your child about health and nutrition is to lead by example. If a parent isn't taking care of themselves, it's unlikely their child will either. Start doing little things like working out as a family, eating healthy dinners as a family, and talking about health/body-image issues as a family in order to keep your family's health on track. Just by making a health a family priority, you'll be better able to help your teenager keep their health as a priority.

Encourage your child embrace a regular form of exercise

Let's face it: many of us don't get the necessary exercise we should each day. As a working mother, I hardly have any time to move around. One thing I'm quite adamant about, however, is that each of my family members gets at least one hour of exercise each day. This can be as simple as walking outside for an hour or going to soccer practice for an hour. Though many parents choose to overlook exercise, it's absolutely unacceptable if your child sits on his or her butt in school all day. One way to get them up and moving is to sign them up for school sports or exercise classes. As long as you require that your teenager embrace some form of daily exercise, they should be on their way to being healthier.

I know how hard it can be to raise your teenager to care about health and nutrition. As a child, I could have cared less about what I ate, and I gained an unnecessary about of weight because of that apathetic nature. If you're trying to raise a healthy teenager in the new school year, utilize these three helpful healthy tips.

Special Guest Contributor:

 

Leslie Johnson is an avid health and nutrition blogger or mastersinhealthcare.com. As the mother of two teenagers, she is particularly passionate about teaching children about nutrition, health, body image, and exercise. If you have any questions for Leslie, feel free to leave them here.

Sue Scheff: Loving Your Teens - Hating Their Behavior

When it comes to parenting teens, many parents have said, "I love my teen, however I don't like them or their actions."  Does this make you a bad parent?

New York Magazine writer, Jennifer Senior, wrote a very compelling and thought provoking article.  "I Love My Children - I Hate My Life."

Although the article chronicles from baby age up through toddlers, many can relate to these families when dealing with their teenagers, as the feelings of disdain can become even stronger.  You have nurtured your child, you have given all you believe he/she needed - including the best you could with your time, and your teen is still treating you with disrespect and defiance?  What gives?

With today's fast-paced world, difficult economic times, as well as the society of peer pressure among teens that leads to dangerous behaviors, parenting is more challenging than generations earlier.

How do you find the balance?  The cliché teens will be teens, is common, but how do parents survive these sometimes difficult times?

Knowing that there is light the end of the tunnel can help, talking to friends and family that have gone through it all, can also help you get through these bumpy times.  Remember, the teens years can be tough, but hopefully they do grow out of it and you will see your child leading the prosperous life you had planned for them.

In the meantime - don't forget it is important for parents to have "me-time" and there is nothing wrong with it.  It can help you be a better parent.  In the same respect, remember to be a parent first, then their friend.  Many parents miss this step and it can lead to difficulties in parenting with boundaries.

Be an educated parent, you will be a better one on the way.....


Watch video and read more.

Sue Scheff: Should Parents Read Their Teen's Emails and Text Messages?

Recently we read about whether parents should read their child's diary or journal. With the advances of technology, we need to take this a step further: Should you read their emails or text messages?

Again we can go back to "when safety trumps privacy."

Our teens deserve to be trusted unless they give us reason to suspect something is wrong. Is their behavior changing? Here is a review of some warning signs (many are the same to determine if you should read their diaries).

• Is your teen becoming very secretive? Sure, teens do like their privacy, however if you have a "gut feeling" something is deeper than a secret, you may have to cross that line.
• Is your teen becoming withdrawn? Again, teens will develop some attitudes of not wanting to be with adults, however when it becomes extreme, it may be time to cross that line.
• Is your teen changing peer groups? And this is not into a better one, however to one that is less than desirable? You will again attempt to talk to your teen and find out why and what happened to the other friends.
• Is your teens eating habits changing?
• Is your teen sleeping a lot? Bloodshot eyes? Do you suspect drug use?
• Is your teen sneaking out? Becoming extremely defiant? Not respecting your boundaries?
• Are they overly protective of their cell phones or computer?
• Do they hide their cell phones?
• Are they anxious when at their computer, seem fearful, attempt to hide their incoming emails?
• Overall, is your teen slowly becoming a child you don't recognize?

Like with determining if you should invade their privacy with their journals or diary, unless your teen or tween gives you good reason to read their private text and emails, as parents, we should respect their privacy.

When it comes to younger children, under 10 years old, parents should always be allowed to see what they are doing. Most younger children are usually not as protective as teens or tweens. As a responsible parent, you will know when there are red flags or warning signs and you need to step in.

Keeping an open dialog with your tweens and teens is critical. Letting them know you are there for them as well as talking to them about the issues of sexting, cyberbullying, predators and other areas of concern.

Should you read your child's emails or text messages? Only you can answer that.

Be an educated parent, you will have safer children.

Also on Examiner.

Sue Scheff: Texting and Driving (and Teens)

Source: Tangerine Times

Texting and driving is something that just won’t go away. I’ve already written about it several times. Sorry if it is getting to be an old topic for my reader. It bugs me when I’m driving to see people doing it and it concerns me A LOT about my teens and their driving. My daughter doesn’t have her license to drive by herself yet but I know the temptation to answer the text or the phone will be huge.

The Today Show recently featured a test of someone driving while texting.

They demonstrated that texting while driving is in fact more dangerous than driving DRUNK. Scary, huh? I see it every day. It’s adults too. In fact, they are the worst. I tell my kids not to text me when I’m driving (they know my driving schedule) but rather to make a phone call. I have hands-free and although I don’t usually initiate phone calls or want to have long phone calls while driving on the highway to pick my son up, I know there are times when my kids (or husband) do need to reach me. It’s much safer for me to talk to them over speaker-phone. How can I possibly answer a text while driving 70 mph on a freeway?? But, I see people do it every day.

There is NO text or phone call as important as staying ALIVE. There is a gadget (actually there are several on the market) available that can stop you from calling or texting while driving. I think trying to use this to monitor my teenagers won’t work. Maybe it will work for someone else’s family, in which case, go for it. But in my house, my kids would figure out a way to disable the Bluetooth receiver on their phone so that they wouldn’t have to deal with the problem. You need to consider the level of technical sophistication your teen has before buying a monitoring product.We can try to teach our teens self-control. They may listen. But, what about the adults driving around doing the same thing? Where is this going?? It’s crazy out there…

Follow Tangerine Times on Twitter at @BBerryMom

Sue Scheff: Teens and Dating

By Denise Witmner at About.com

Teens need to learn many things while traveling through the life stage of adolescence. Help your teen learn about dating by knowing these five truths:

•It is normal for a teen to be interested in dating.
While some teens tend to be interested in dating earlier than others, it is a normal adolescent life stage experience for all teenagers. Girls are more vocal about the dating interest and tend to be interested to a greater degree at a younger age, but boys are paying attention also. There is no way around it; your teenager is going to want to date. When he/she does, you’ll have to step up to the plate with some parenting skills.(Try this parenting contract for teen dating too.)

•Teenagers do not know how to date.
A teen does not learn how to date in the classroom and most likely has only picked up on some of the basics, like respecting someone’s personal space, at home. But they haven’t learned the ins and outs of a give and take relationship yet. They will be learning this as they date, and ‘on the job’ type of training. You can reinforce the values that concern dating and relationships by discussing them with your teenager and modeling them with your spouse or significant other. Do not be afraid to bring up these issues. Do not feel that they are not important. Teens that are taught values are important will look for dates with similar good values. That is who you want your teen dating, right?

•Teens whose parents talk to them about dating are better prepared and happier.
You want your teenager to grow up happy, so remember that happiness in life is found in the journey. While the topic of teens and dating can make the most confident parent nervous, you should do your best not to project those anxious feelings when discussing dating - and the rules and limits of dating - with your teen. Relax and have informative dating conversations that will strengthen your relationship with your teen and empower you both to enjoy this part of their life.

•Your teen will need privacy.
As parents, we are not very comfortable not knowing what is going on in our child’s life. But as your teen starts to date, you will need to take a step back and not try to know ‘everything’. You may at first have a hard time and feel like something is wrong. That is normal – your parenting role is changing. Change always feels awkward at first. On the other hand, your teenager may want to chat about the experience. He/she may have some questions to ask. If so, make yourself available. But remember to try not to ‘read into’ any of the questions and begin prying.

•Your teen will still need you to be ‘around’.
When you have one of your talks with your teen about dating, you will need to set up a pick up scenario. Teens are notorious for getting themselves into situations that they have a hard time getting out of by themselves. Many times this happens on dates. Therefore, let your teenager know you are available for a ride home. You will pick him/her up at anyplace or anytime, even three o’clock in the morning. You will do so without any consequences to your teenager with the understanding that everyone makes mistakes in judgment. You simply want your teen to be safe. Arguments, drinking, etc can all be a part of a bad dating experience. So, hope for the best, prepare for the worst and be there for your teen.

Sue Scheff: Bystanders Can Stop Bullying

Source: Connect with Kids

“These are the people who aren’t bullied, and neither are they the bulliers, but they stand by and they really permit these actions to take place; and I believe that that’s one of the major groups that we have to focus on, and get them involved, you know and basically say ‘we’re mad as hell and we’re not going to take it any more,’ and we’re going to intervene.”

– Bill Modzeleski, U.S. Department of Education

At a middle school in Wisconsin, students perform in front of a class - in what is called ‘social improvisation’. In the performance, one student is bullied, while others stand around and watch, or giggle…

But they don’t do anything about it.

The girl who’s being bullied, whose hair was pulled, asks the others: “Didn’t you guys see that?”

But they respond, “It’s no big deal…”

The ‘play’ illustrates a common problem. The Department of Justice found that 88 percent of teens have witnessed bullying. And experts say they have the power to stop it, if only they acted.

“We will not solve the bullying problem until we educate the silent witness,” says Stacey DeWitt, President of Connect with Kids. “The biggest issue for bullying is the majority of children who watch it happen and let it go on.”

13-year-old Krystal has been bullied - and knows the frustration of having no one come forward to help. “It hurts,” she says. “You feel like you’re alone, and that, like, no one is there to help you.”

The American Academy of Pediatrics is about to release their new policy about ways to stop bullying and how to change the culture inside our schools. Among their recommendations: increased training for teachers and the formation of anti-bullying groups for students.

And in Lacrosse, Wisconsin, they’re trying to do just that. They’ve instituted a change in the curriculum. At least once a semester, in every academic class, they talk about bullying… and witnesses… and courage.

“I don’t think we should put the onus just on the victim,” says Bill Modzeleski, with the U.S. Department of Education. “It’s wrong to say the victim has to have courage. It’s also the bystander that has to have courage. And oftentimes I would say that those who turn away are those who don’t have courage.”

Kids in Lacrosse say it’s working – that the culture inside their school has changed… and they have, too.

“It’s given me, like, a whole new point of view,” says 13-year-old Delaney, “If I see someone being bullied, I’m more likely now to stand up for the kid being bullied and say to the bully, ‘That’s not right.”

“We almost have to take it upon ourselves to take that risk to help people who truly need it”, adds 18-year-old David.

“For them to just stand there and do nothing? That’s just not right,” says Kyle, 14.

Tips for Parents
Who is likely to be a victim of bullying? The NCRSS says that passive loners are the most frequent victims, especially if they cry easily or lack social self-defense skills. Many victims are unable to deflect a conflict with humor and don’t think quickly on their feet. They are usually anxious, insecure and cautious and suffer from low self-esteem. In addition, they rarely defend themselves or retaliate and tend to lack friends, making them easy to isolate.

If you suspect that your child is being bullied, you can help him or her in the following ways cited by the Committee for Children:

■Encourage your child to report bullying incidents to you. Validate your child’s feelings by letting him or her know that it is normal to feel hurt, sad, scared, angry, etc. Help your child be specific in describing bullying incidents – who, what, where and when.
■Ask your child how he or she has tried to stop the bullying. Coach him or her in possible coping methods – avoidance of the bully and making new friends for support.
■Treat the school as your ally. Share your child’s concerns and specific information around bullying incidents with appropriate school personnel. Work with school staff to protect your child from possible retaliation. Establish a plan with the school and your child for dealing with future bullying incidents. Volunteer time to help supervise on field trips, on the playground or in the lunchroom. And become an advocate for school-wide bullying prevention programs and policies.
■Encourage your child to continue to talk with you about all bullying incidents. Never ignore your child’s report. Remember that you should not advise your child to physically fight back. Bullying lasts longer and becomes more severe when children fight back, and physical injuries often result. Also, you should not confront the bullying child or his or her parents.
Unlike victims, bullies appear to suffer little anxiety and possess strong self-esteem, according to the NCRSS. They often come from homes where physical punishment is used and where children are taught to strike back physically as a way of handling problems. Bullies thus believe that it is all right for stronger children to hit weaker children. They frequently lack parental warmth and involvement and seem to desire power and control.

If you suspect that your child is bullying others, the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) suggests you seek help for him or her as soon as possible. Without intervention, bullying can lead to serious academic, social, emotional and legal difficulties. Talk to your child’s pediatrician, teacher, principal, school counselor or family physician. If the bullying continues, the AACAP advises you to arrange a comprehensive evaluation of your child by a child and adolescent psychiatrist or other mental health professional should be arranged.

The Coalition for Children says that you can also help your child by discussing with him or her these key points about bullying:

■Remind your child that bullying is not acceptable in your family or in society.
■Provide your child with alternatives to taking frustration or aggression out on others. You can even role-play different ways to behave in situations where your child would normally bully another.
■Specify concretely the consequences if the aggression or bullying continue.
While bullying, harassment and teasing are unfortunate aspects of childhood, you can help minimize these occurrences by raising non-violent children. The American Academy of Pediatrics cites the following tips for curbing hurtful behavior in your child:

■Give your child consistent love and attention. Every child needs a strong, loving, relationship with a parent or other adult to feel safe and secure and to develop a sense of trust. Without a steady bond to a caring adult, a child is at risk for becoming hostile, difficult and hard to manage.
■Make sure your child is supervised. A child depends on his or her parents and family members for encouragement, protection and support as he or she learns to think for himself or herself. Without proper supervision, your child will not receive the guidance he or she needs. Studies report that unsupervised children often have behavior problems.
■Show your child appropriate behaviors by the way you act. Children often learn by example. The behavior, values and attitudes of parents and siblings have a strong influence on them. Most children sometimes act aggressively and may hit another person. Be firm with your child about the possible dangers of violent behavior. Also remember to praise your child when he or she solves problems constructively without violence.
■Don’t hit your child. Hitting or slapping your child as punishment shows him or her that it’s OK to hit others to solve problems and can train him or her to punish others in the same way he or she were punished.
■Be consistent about rules and discipline. When you make a rule, stick to it. Your child needs structure with clear expectations for his or her behavior. Setting rules and then not enforcing them is confusing and sets up your child to “see what he or she can get away with.”
■Make sure your child does not have access to guns. Guns and children can be a deadly combination. Teach your child about the dangers of firearms or other weapons if you own and use them. If you keep a gun in your home, unload it and lock it up separately from the bullets. Don’t carry a gun or a weapon. If you do, this tells your child that using guns solves problems.
■Try to keep your child from seeing violence in the home or community. Violence in the home can be frightening and harmful to children. A child who has seen violence at home does not always become violent, but he or she may be more likely to try to resolve conflicts with violence.
■Try to keep your child from seeing too much violence in the media. Watching a lot of violence on television, in the movies and in video games can lead children to behave aggressively. As a parent, you can control the amount of violence your child sees in the media by limiting television viewing and previewing games, movies, etc., before allowing access to them by your child.
■Help your child stand up against violence. Support your child in standing up against violence. Teach him or her to respond with calm but firm words when others insult, threaten or hit another person. Help your child understand that it takes more courage and leadership to resist violence than to go along with it.
References
■American Academy of Pediatrics
■American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
■Coalition for Children
■Committee for Children
■Families and Work Institute
■National Resource Center for Safe Schools
■National School Safety Center
■U.S. Department of Education
■University of Zurich

Sue Scheff: When Parents Blame the School

Source: Connect with Kids

“Academics was hard, and trying to fit in was harder.”

– Brendon, 14, talking about his experience in a new middle school

When Brendon Yag entered middle school, his grades began to drop and so did his attitude.

“Academics was hard and trying to fit in was harder,” says Brendon, 14.

His mom says she met with the principal, and didn’t like what she heard. “He felt I needed to let my child fail,” says Meg Yag, “to understand the consequences of what he was or was not doing.”

Meg lost confidence in the school’s approach, but experts warn when dissatisfaction with a school turns into outward disrespect voiced by the parent, the child may feel it’s okay to misbehave.

“The child is in between, like a custody case between the school and parents, and will take an opportunity not to respect the rules of the school,” says psychologist Dr. June Kaufman.

Brendon’s mom was careful to not criticize the school in front of her son. “The school is a fabulous school for the right kind of kid. It was not the right kind of school for my kids,” she says.

After two years floundering in his middle school, Brendon switched to a different school. But experts say if parents don’t have that choice, and their child is having problems, there are a couple things the parent can do.

First, visit the school before forming an opinion, and observe your child to get a better idea of what really is going on.

Second, talk with administrators about how they might be able to better accommodate your child’s learning needs.

“And importantly,” says Kaufman, “if there’s a choice among teachers, try to determine in conversation with the teacher before they enroll, if they think that child is a good fit, with the teacher.”

And parents should always make kids realize, you won’t always blame the school, or the teacher, if your child has problems.

“My mom told me that if I get in trouble again, I get in big trouble,” says Brendon, “So I’m good now.”

Tips for Parents
################

Should parents side with their child in a dispute between the child and the school? Here are excerpts from an interview on the subject with Dr. June Kaufman, a licensed psychologist:

“I think it creates more problems when (parents) side with their child,” Dr. Kaufman says. “The child is in between, like in a custody case, between the school and parents, and the child will take the opportunity not to respect the rules of the school…

“The most important thing is to have a good fit between the child, teacher and school and have a situation where the parents can work with the school. If the parents are getting calls every day at work about behavior problems at school, they have to look into it, they have to respond, without blaming the school. I think they should look at a school’s policies and, importantly, if there’s a choice among teachers, try to determine in conversations with the teacher—before they enroll the child—if they think their child is a good fit with the teacher. The child has to know, ‘this is a good place for you.’

“I think you have to say to the child, ‘I’ve heard from the teacher that there’s (a problem). I don’t know the whole story. I’ll take your side this time, but if this behavior continues, I’m going to be meeting with the teacher and learning much more about it. So, I don’t know the whole story yet and I might even have to observe in the classroom.’

“There isn’t a perfect child, and even the most model child may even have difficulty, so you don’t want to necessarily believe everything your child tells you.”

Some suggestions for positive steps toward better discipline from the National Education Association (NEA):

Let your children know you like them. Tell your children how much you admire their good qualities.
Let your children know exactly what you expect of them – set limits.
Encourage responsible decision-making. Whenever possible, find areas in which you know your children can make decisions for themselves.
Set a good example. Remember that children are great imitators.
Encourage your children to respect authority. At home, in school, and in other areas of their lives, your children need to know the importance of respecting authority.
If your child is having problems in or out of school, the NEA says don’t waste your time blaming yourself. Although you share the responsibility for your children’s development, you aren’t the only one who influences them. Communicate with your children about the problems they are having. Help them look for solutions.

Finally, the NEA says, “Keep in mind that you can’t shield your children from the problems of the real world. Nor can you keep accidents from happening. Some attempts at good parenting may be overzealous. By trying to avoid being too protective and solicitous for your children’s concerns you can help them become truly independent people.”

References
Dr. June Kaufman, psychologist
National Education Association

Sue Scheff: Helping Kids Deal with Bullying

Source: TeensHealth

Each day, 10-year-old Seth asked his mom for more and more lunch money. Yet he seemed skinnier than ever and came home from school hungry. It turned out that Seth was handing his lunch money to a fifth-grader, who was threatening to beat him up if he didn't pay.


Kayla, 13, thought things were going well at her new school, since all the popular girls were being so nice to her. But then she found out that one of them had posted mean rumors about her on a website. Kayla cried herself to sleep that night and started going to the nurse's office complaining of a stomachache to avoid the girls in study hall.

Unfortunately, the kind of bullying that Seth and Kayla experienced is widespread. In national surveys, most kids and teens say that bullying happens at school.

A bully can turn something like going to the bus stop or recess into a nightmare for kids. Bullying can leave deep emotional scars that last for life. And in extreme situations, it can culminate in violent threats, property damage, or someone getting seriously hurt.

If your child is being bullied, there are ways to help him or her cope with it on a day-to-day basis and lessen its lasting impact. And even if bullying isn't an issue right in your house right now, it's important to discuss it so your kids will be prepared if it does happen.
What Is Bullying?

Most kids have been teased by a sibling or a friend at some point. And it's not usually harmful when done in a playful, friendly, and mutual way, and both kids find it funny. But when teasing becomes hurtful, unkind, and constant, it crosses the line into bullying and needs to stop.
Bullying is intentional tormenting in physical, verbal, or psychological ways. It can range from hitting, shoving, name-calling, threats, and mocking to extorting money and treasured possessions. Some kids bully by shunning others and spreading rumors about them. Others use email, chat rooms, instant messages, social networking websites, and text messages to taunt others or hurt their feelings.

It's important to take bullying seriously and not just brush it off as something that kids have to "tough out." The effects can be serious and affect kids' sense of self-worth and future relationships. In severe cases, bullying has contributed to tragedies, such as school shootings.

Read the entire article: http://teenshealth.org/parent/emotions/feelings/bullies.html

Sue Scheff: Teen Body Image

Source: Sarah Maria

If you're in high school, most of your friends are probably on a diet. A recent study shows that 90% of junior and senior girls are on a diet regularly, even though only 10-15% are actually overweight.

The modeling industry also promotes the idea that you need to diet and exercise religiously. Fashion models are actually thinner than 98% of American women. An average woman stands 5'4" tall and weighs about 140 lbs, while the average fashion model is a towering 5'11" tall and weighs under 117 lbs.

In reality no amount of dieting, exercise and discipline can earn you a magazine cover-ready body because those photos have been Photo Shopped, doctored and airbrushed. Don't waste your time attempting to be what you are not, instead; focus on cultivating who you are!

Body Image Tips
As you progress through puberty and your high school years, your body changes as fast as your favorite ringtones. But learning to appreciate your body and have positive self image is a task that few adults have even mastered. Here are some tips to help you learn to love yourself:

Learn to Cook- It is never too early to learn to cook. In just a few years, you will be on your own and you will be expected to feed and take care of yourself. Get some practice at home by preparing some family meals or meals for just yourself. Try some new foods by looking through cookbooks and online. Impress your friends by having a dinner party. This also helps you understand how food functions within a regular diet. Learn how to cook healthily so you can eat healthily, but don't spend too much time worrying about food!

Don't Diet!- Dieting is a great way to ruin your eating habits and your relationship with food and your body. Instead, learn about healthy eating and exercise habits. The healthy habits you learn while you are young will serve you throughout your life!

People Watch- Go to the mall or a public space and people watch. How many are fat or thin? How tall are most women? Men? What do you like or dislike about people's styles, looks or body type? How much of their appearance is "style" and how much is their actual body types? Cultivate the ability to see style and beauty in everyone. As you learn to do this, you can be a trend-setter instead of a trend-follower.

Keep it Real- Remember, people only pick the best photos to be on their MySpace or Facebook page. Remind yourself that they all have bad hair days, the occasional zit or an unflattering outfit choice.

Stay Well Rounded- Sign up for activities that you have never tried. Join an intramural sport or speech meet. Build up your college resume by participating in extracurricular activities. It's a great way to broaden your social circle and prepares you for college or a job.

Be a Trend Setter- Don't just follow the crowd - create your own crowd by being a trend setter. Find your own style and look by experimenting with your hair, makeup and clothing. What is your look trying to say? Does it match what you want people to think about you? Someone has to set the trends. Why not you?

Learn to meditate- It is never too early to learn to meditate. You will find that this is a skill you can use all your life. By focusing inward, it is easier to distill the truth rather than listening to outside influences. It will also help you manage the stress of your busy life.


Parental Tips
If you are a parent of a teen, you know the challenges of living with an emotional, possibly aloof teenager who begs for guidance but disregards most of what you say. Their alternating moods and attitudes make approaching a touchy subject like body image feel dangerous. The following are some tips to help with a positive body image:

Have an Open Door Policy-You'd like your teen to approach you with any problem she is facing but often you aren't sure if she's coming to you, going to her friends or suffering alone. Encourage regular candid conversation by noticing what times and places your teen is most likely to talk. Is she a night owl? Does she like talking on a long drive? Is she more comfortable emailing? Use the time and venue that is most comfortable for her and encourage open sharing.

Limit Harmful Media- Put your teen daughter on a media diet. Don't feel you need to restrict website, magazine or TV shows entirely. Just be cautious of what mediums she concentrates on. Be especially mindful of any one celebrity that she idolizes or photos that she tears out and stares at repeatedly. Discuss how all magazine photos are airbrushed and doctored.

Compliment Her and Her Friends- Make a point to compliment both your daughter and her friends on a well-put together outfit or a new hair style. Teens are trying on new looks and personalities as their bodies change. Let them know that they have hit on a good look when they experiment in the right direction.

Make sure to compliment them on things not related to their appearance as well. A good grade, a valiant sports effort or kind deed also deserve notice. Try to practice a 90/10% rule. Let 90% of your comments and insights be positive and only 10% should be carefully worded constructive criticism.

Sue Scheff: Teen Relationships

What do you get your teen as a Valentine’s gift? Hmmmm…. is it always about gifts? Simply reminding them you love them and and maybe spending time with - lunch, dinner? We know most teens sleep through the breakfast hour!

Why not get your teen a book - a book that can help them in their relationships in life and love. It could be a priceless gift - for those that remember those puppy love years, they can be as painful as they are blissful.

Check out Health Communications Incs Teen Love Series on Relationships by Kimberly Kirberger.

Love is such a mystery - sometimes painful, other times glorious, always challenging. This book will guide you to understand and sort out your myriad feelings and experiences.

However you feel about love - love it, hate it, wish you knew, wish you didn’t, or feel too scared and confused to even try to find out - this book will show you that your feelings are okay, and most important, that you are not alone. In it you’ll find letters from other teens and Kimberly’s responses to their questions, concerns and confusion and you’ll get a wide-ranging perspective on love and relationships.

Sue Scheff - Teen Drug Prevention

D.A.R.E. - Drug Abuse Resistance Education has been known for many years and has helped been part of many schools in helping children learn the dangers of drug abuse. As a parent, take some time to review their newly updated information and website. It is important that parents and educators work together to help prevent drug use.

Source: D.A.R.E. Official Website

This year millions of school children around the world will benefit from D.A.R.E. (Drug Abuse Resistance Education), the highly acclaimed program that gives kids the skills they need to avoid involvement in drugs, gangs, and violence.

D.A.R.E. was founded in 1983 in Los Angeles and has proven so successful that it is now being implemented in 75 percent of our nation’s school districts and in more than 43 countries around the world.

D.A.R.E. is a police officer-led series of classroom lessons that teaches children from kindergarten through 12th grade how to resist peer pressure and live productive drug and violence-free lives.

Sue Scheff: Learn More about Teen Obesity

Learn more about keeping your kids in good health. Especially with more and more kids sitting behind their computer screens we need to encourage more activities!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRSGUZrOU_w


Here is a recent News Article

Seven ways to help your overweight teen



On paper, the statistics are shocking enough: the obesity rate for teens has tripled over the past 25 years and with this increase an average weight, type 2 diabetes, once unknown in young people, is now diagnosed in 45 percent of all new cases involving children or teens. Medical experts fear that high blood pressure and heart disease could become increasingly prevalent among young adults, making this generation of teens the first to have potentially poorer health and shorter life spans than their parents.



Seeing a young person you love struggle with overweight or obesity in the sensitive pre-teen or teen years is painful, frustrating and alarming — from watching them deal with cruel remarks to seeing them on the sidelines in sports or social events or knowing that they face significant health risks even in young adulthood. Maybe you’ve nagged or dropped hints or taken your child for medical help or sent him or her to weight loss camps — all to no avail.



Doctor Kathy McCoy, author of “The Teenage Body Book,” explains how you can help your teen lose weight and feel better!



• Put the emphasis on good health, not weight, and make it a goal for the whole family. Teens hate being singled out and criticized. Approaching this from a “YOU need to lose weight!” point of view will guarantee a battle of the wills. Instead, ask for your teen’s help in making an action plan to promote better family eating and exercise habits.



• Have real family meals at least once a day and encourage your teen to eat what the family eats. Frantic family schedules have equaled fast food or processed, prepared food dinners — and expanding waistlines. With real, home-cooked meals, you can better control calories, fats, sugars, sodium and other nutritional issues.



• Look at and discuss all of your less than ideal eating behaviors. Maybe your teen craves junk food when she’s bored and watching TV. Maybe you dive into high calorie comfort food when you’re angry or frustrated. Pay attention to the difference between physical and emotional hunger. Discuss all this with your family — and come up with ways to comfort or reward yourselves that have nothing to do with food.



• Make it convenient for everyone in the family to eat breakfast. Advance planning can help: fresh fruit and yogurt in the fridge, whole grain bread and cereals in the pantry, and encouraging all to get up and get going early enough in the morning to grab a bite. Those who don’t eat breakfast tend to overeat during the rest of the day, especially in the evening



• Get your family moving. Trying to motivate an overweight teen to go to the gym can be frustrating and non-productive. Schedule exercise into your family routine: a family walk or bike ride after dinner doesn’t have to cut into homework or leisure time too dramatically — and the exercise is good for everyone.



• Become smart, skeptical consumers: There are no weight loss miracles. Help your teen to avoid quick fixes. The weight didn’t come on overnight and it can’t be lost — for good — overnight either. The goal should be health improvement with a slow, steady weight loss of no more than two pounds a week. The loss can add up to more than 100 pounds in a year — and weight lost slowly as one changes one’s eating and exercise habits is more likely to stay off.



• Make a vow — together — to enjoy a full and healthy life now. You don’t have to wait until you or your teen is slim to do this. With good health as your top family priority, you can feel better starting today. Good nutrition, regular exercise and the feeling that “we’re all in this together” can make a positive difference for everyone in your family.



Award-winning writer and author of “The Teenage Body Book,” Dr. Kathy McCoy is a teen psychology and health expert who has appeared as a guest on such programs as The Today Show and The Oprah Winfrey Show. Winner of the American Library Associations’ Best Book for Young Adults Award, “The Teenage Body Book” contains everything teenagers and their parents need to know about nutrition, health, fitness, emotions and sexuality.

Sue Scheff: Teen Peer Pressure

Peer Pressure leads to "Good Teens Making Bad Choices" which is very common today.

Teen Peer Pressure can be extremely damaging to a pre-teen or teen that is desperately trying to fit in somewhere – anywhere in their school. They are not sure what group they belong in, and those that are suffering with low self esteem can end up fitting more comfortably with the less than desirable peers. This can be the beginning of a downward spiral. When a child doesn’t have confidence of who they are or where they belong, it can lead to the place that is easiest to fit in – usually the not the best crowd.

Keeping your child involved in activities such as sports, music and school clubs can help give them a place where they belong. We always encourage parents to find the one thing that truly interests their child, whether it is a musical instrument, swimming, golf, diving, dance, chess club, drama, etc. It is important to find out what their interests are and help them build on it. Encourage them 100%. They don’t need to be the next Tiger Woods, but they need to enjoy what they are doing and keep busy doing it. Staying busy in a constructive way is always beneficial.

It is very common with many parents that contact us that their child has fallen into the wrong crowd and has become a follower rather than a leader. They are making bad choices, choices they know better however the fear of not fitting in with their friends sways them to make the wrong decisions. Low self esteem can attribute to this behavior, and if it has escalated to a point of dangerous situations such as legal issues, substance use, gang related activity, etc. it may be time to seek outside help.

Remember, don’t be ashamed of this, it is very common today and you are not alone. So many parents believe others will think it is a reflection of their parenting skills, however with today’s society; the teen peer pressure is stronger than it ever has been. The Internet explosion combined with many teens Entitlement Issues has made today’s generation a difficult one to understand.

It is so important to find the right fit for your child if you are seeking residential treatment. We always encourage *local adolescent counseling prior to any Residential Treatment Programs or Boarding schools, however this is not always necessary. Many parents have an instinct when their child is heading the wrong direction. It is an intuition only a parent can detect. If something doesn't seem right, it usually isn't. If your gut is talking to you, you may want to listen or investigate what your child is doing.

Parents need to understand that teen peer pressure can influence adolescents in negative ways. Do you know who your child’s friends are?

If you feel your teen is in need of further Boarding School, Military School or Program Options, please complete our Information Request Form. Please visit Informational Articles for more beneficial information.

*Local Therapist should be Therapist/Counselors that "specialize" with Adolescents.

Sue Scheff: Love our Children USA

For almost ten years, Love Our Children USA has become the go-to prevention organization for all forms of violence and neglect against children. Our commitment is to break the cycle of violence against children.
Empowering the public with knowledge … giving children and youth a voice by speaking for them… advocating for their safety and taking their message to the media and to our communities … a liaison between those with no power and those with power.

Practicing safe and positive parenting in every home … every school ... every community across America ... for all children ... creating successful families.

Learn more at http://www.loveourchildrenusa.org/

Sue Scheff - Parenting Teens - Parenting Tips

Sue Scheff – Founder of Parents’ Universal Resource Experts and Author of Wit’s End! Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out-Of-Control Teen
Offers 10 Parenting Quick Tips


1. Communication: Keeping the lines of communication of your child should be a priority with all parents. It is important to let your kids know you are always there for them no matter what the subject is. If there is a subject you are not comfortable with, please be sure your child has someone they can open up to. I believe that when kids keep things bottled up, it can be when negative behaviors can start to grow.

2. Knowing your Children’s Friends: This is critical, in my opinion. Who are your kids hanging out with? Doing their homework with? If they are spending a lot of time at a friends house, go out of your way to call the parent introduce yourself. Especially if they are spending the night at a friends house, it important to take time to call the parents or meet them. This can give you a feeling of security knowing where your child is and who they are with.


3. Know your Child’s Teachers – Keep track of their attendance at school: Take time to meet each teacher and be sure they have your contact information and you have theirs if there are any concerns regarding your child. In the same respect, take time to meet your child’s Guidance Counselor.

4. Keep your Child Involved: Whether it is sports, music, drama, dance, and school clubs such as chess, government, school newspaper or different committees such as prom, dances and other school activities. Keeping your child busy can keep them out of trouble. If you can find your child’s passion – whether it is football, soccer, gymnastics, dance, music – that can help keep them focused and hopefully keep them on track in school.


5. Learn about Internet Social Networking: In today’s Cyber generation this has to be a priority. Parents need to help educate their kids on Cyber Safety – think before they post, help them to understand what they put up today, may haunt them tomorrow. Don’t get involved with strangers and especially don’t talk about sex with strangers. Avoid meeting in person the people you meet online without you being there. On the same note – cell phone and texting – don’t allow your child to freely give out their cell numbers and never post them online. Parents should consider ReputationDefender/MyChild to further help protect their children online.

6. Encourage your teen to get a job or volunteer: In today’s generation I think we need to instill responsibility and accountability. This can start early by encouraging your teen to either get a job or volunteer, especially during the summer. Again, it is about keeping them busy, however at the same time teaching them responsibility. I always tell parents to try to encourage their teens to get jobs at Summer Camps, Nursing Homes, ASPCA, Humane Society or places where they are giving to others or helping animals. It can truly build self esteem to help others.


7. Make Time for your Child: This sounds very simple and almost obvious, but with today’s busy schedule of usually both parents working full time or single parent households, it is important to put time aside weekly (if not daily at dinner) for one on one time or family time. Today life is all about electronics (cell phones, Ipods, Blackberry’s, computers, etc) that the personal touch of actually being together has diminished.

8. When Safety trumps privacy: If you suspect your teen is using drugs, or other suspicious behaviors (lying, defiance, disrespectful, etc) it is time to start asking questions – and even “snooping” – I know there are two sides to this coin, and that is why I specifically mentioned “if you suspect” things are not right – in these cases – safety for your child takes precedence over invading their privacy. Remember – we are the parent and we are accountable and responsible for our child.


9. Are you considering outside treatment for your child? Residential Therapy is a huge step, and not a step that is taken lightly. Do your homework! When your child’s behavior escalates to a level of belligerence, defiance, substance abuse or God forbid gang relations – it may be time to seek outside help. Don’t be ashamed of this – put your child’s future first and take steps to get the help he/she needs – immediately, but take your time to find the right placement. Read Wit’s End! for more information.

10. Be a parent FIRST: There are parents that want to be their child’s friend and that is great – but remember you are a parent first. Set boundaries – believe it not kids want limits (and most importantly – need them). Never threaten consequences you don’t plan on following through with.

Sue Scheff: Safe Teen Driving Club

Are you a parent of a new teenage driver or is your teen about to take the wheel? Be an educated parent - learn more here on this valuable website promoting Safe Teen Driving!
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Our mission is to educate parents and provide them services they can use to keep their teen safe and alive while driving. It's pretty well known that driving crashes are the #1 cause of teen injury and death, taking a back seat to suicide, homocide, drugs, alcohol and all other causes.Feel free to visit our site at http://www.safeteendrivingclub.org/, or our blog at http://safeteendrivingclub.wordpress.com/.

You'll find safety tips, information on our Crash Free America educational program for parents and services and products that are proven to reduce the chances of a crash with your teen.
You can also see a short video about the Club and other media coverage at http://www.safeteendrivingclub.org/stdc_page2.php?page_ID=1193759997.

Sue Scheff featured in Florida SunSentinel

'Wit's End' book offers advice to help out-of-control teens

By Liz Doup South Florida Sun-Sentinel

October 8, 2008

A decade ago, when her 14-year-old daughter spiraled out of control, Sue Scheff didn't know where to turn.

As a result, the Weston mom sent Ashlyn to a residential program that harmed rather than helped, she says. It was a drastic move after her daughter had temporarily run away and threatened violence.

In hindsight, Scheff wishes she had looked more closely at schools and asked more questions. To help parents avoid her mistakes, she started researching programs that offer professional treatment in a residential setting. She put what she learned in the recently published book, Wit's End: Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out-of-Control Teen (Health Communications Inc.; $14.95). She also created Parents' Universal Resource Experts Inc. (helpyourteens.com).

Read the entire article here: http://www.sun-sentinel.com/features/sfl-1008-troubled-teens-help,0,3889948.story