Educational Things Your Child Should Never Know
Source: Nurse Practitioners Schools
Because education doesn’t just begin and end with school, parents can take an active role in shaping their children by discussing the following.
28. The Holocaust. Waiting until an appropriate age is always a good idea when discussing this tragedy. A good idea is to check with your school to see when they are teaching it, so you can help your child through it. The ADL also has a very useful guide containing the stories of the children who survived the holocaust.
29. Sex ed. Chances are they will come across it in school, but parents are still the best place to learn. Find out when and what your school is teaching to your child regarding sex so you can be ready. You can also consult with your family or church on ways to discuss. If you need a starting point, Advocates for Youth has help for getting started, keeping the conversation going, and more.
30. Just say no. A good starting point, but children need to know why to say no. Explain to them carefully and in context how drugs ruin lives and the best way to defend against it is to never start. The best thing parents can do in this situation is set the example.
31. Alcohol is okay. Children see parents, movie characters, and others drink alcohol, so why shouldn’t they? Talking to them about why and how much adults drink, if it all, is essential for children. Talking With Kids even provides a useful online guide that can be found here.
32. Sometimes violence is okay. Although an adult may know when and when not to use violence, it is a heavy burden to place on a child. Yet even the most cautious parent has a child that is exposed to violent imagery at sometime in their life. Stop here to download a booklet on how to speak with your kids about and even get booklets for other issues.
33. The family finances. All families go through their highs and lows financially. If a parent lost his or her job, reassure the child that everything will be okay and even suggest things such as turning off lights and clipping coupons that the child can help with. If the family suddenly comes into money, set an example by spending, saving, and investing it responsibly.
34. The nightly news. Full of horrific and graphic images, the news is generally not a family friendly program. However, much discussed news items have a way of finding your child’s ears. Create an open environment where your children feel safe in asking about something they saw that is troubling them. A helpful guide for discussing the murder of Sandra Cantu can be found here.
35. Homosexuality. Whatever your views are, children will be exposed to it at some point in their life and may not understand what they hear. Make sure they get information on homosexuality from you the parent before anyone else so that your values and beliefs are not infringed upon. Dr. Nancy Brown wrote an excellent article on explaining homosexuality to kids under the age of 11, and it can be found here.
Read all 50 at http://nursepractitionerschools.org/50-things-your-child-should-never-know/
Showing posts with label teen education. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teen education. Show all posts
Friday, October 2, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Sue Scheff: When Parents Blame the School
Source: Connect with Kids
“Academics was hard, and trying to fit in was harder.”
– Brendon, 14, talking about his experience in a new middle school
When Brendon Yag entered middle school, his grades began to drop and so did his attitude.
“Academics was hard and trying to fit in was harder,” says Brendon, 14.
His mom says she met with the principal, and didn’t like what she heard. “He felt I needed to let my child fail,” says Meg Yag, “to understand the consequences of what he was or was not doing.”
Meg lost confidence in the school’s approach, but experts warn when dissatisfaction with a school turns into outward disrespect voiced by the parent, the child may feel it’s okay to misbehave.
“The child is in between, like a custody case between the school and parents, and will take an opportunity not to respect the rules of the school,” says psychologist Dr. June Kaufman.
Brendon’s mom was careful to not criticize the school in front of her son. “The school is a fabulous school for the right kind of kid. It was not the right kind of school for my kids,” she says.
After two years floundering in his middle school, Brendon switched to a different school. But experts say if parents don’t have that choice, and their child is having problems, there are a couple things the parent can do.
First, visit the school before forming an opinion, and observe your child to get a better idea of what really is going on.
Second, talk with administrators about how they might be able to better accommodate your child’s learning needs.
“And importantly,” says Kaufman, “if there’s a choice among teachers, try to determine in conversation with the teacher before they enroll, if they think that child is a good fit, with the teacher.”
And parents should always make kids realize, you won’t always blame the school, or the teacher, if your child has problems.
“My mom told me that if I get in trouble again, I get in big trouble,” says Brendon, “So I’m good now.”
Tips for Parents
################
Should parents side with their child in a dispute between the child and the school? Here are excerpts from an interview on the subject with Dr. June Kaufman, a licensed psychologist:
“I think it creates more problems when (parents) side with their child,” Dr. Kaufman says. “The child is in between, like in a custody case, between the school and parents, and the child will take the opportunity not to respect the rules of the school…
“The most important thing is to have a good fit between the child, teacher and school and have a situation where the parents can work with the school. If the parents are getting calls every day at work about behavior problems at school, they have to look into it, they have to respond, without blaming the school. I think they should look at a school’s policies and, importantly, if there’s a choice among teachers, try to determine in conversations with the teacher—before they enroll the child—if they think their child is a good fit with the teacher. The child has to know, ‘this is a good place for you.’
“I think you have to say to the child, ‘I’ve heard from the teacher that there’s (a problem). I don’t know the whole story. I’ll take your side this time, but if this behavior continues, I’m going to be meeting with the teacher and learning much more about it. So, I don’t know the whole story yet and I might even have to observe in the classroom.’
“There isn’t a perfect child, and even the most model child may even have difficulty, so you don’t want to necessarily believe everything your child tells you.”
Some suggestions for positive steps toward better discipline from the National Education Association (NEA):
Let your children know you like them. Tell your children how much you admire their good qualities.
Let your children know exactly what you expect of them – set limits.
Encourage responsible decision-making. Whenever possible, find areas in which you know your children can make decisions for themselves.
Set a good example. Remember that children are great imitators.
Encourage your children to respect authority. At home, in school, and in other areas of their lives, your children need to know the importance of respecting authority.
If your child is having problems in or out of school, the NEA says don’t waste your time blaming yourself. Although you share the responsibility for your children’s development, you aren’t the only one who influences them. Communicate with your children about the problems they are having. Help them look for solutions.
Finally, the NEA says, “Keep in mind that you can’t shield your children from the problems of the real world. Nor can you keep accidents from happening. Some attempts at good parenting may be overzealous. By trying to avoid being too protective and solicitous for your children’s concerns you can help them become truly independent people.”
References
Dr. June Kaufman, psychologist
National Education Association
– Brendon, 14, talking about his experience in a new middle school
When Brendon Yag entered middle school, his grades began to drop and so did his attitude.
“Academics was hard and trying to fit in was harder,” says Brendon, 14.
His mom says she met with the principal, and didn’t like what she heard. “He felt I needed to let my child fail,” says Meg Yag, “to understand the consequences of what he was or was not doing.”
Meg lost confidence in the school’s approach, but experts warn when dissatisfaction with a school turns into outward disrespect voiced by the parent, the child may feel it’s okay to misbehave.
“The child is in between, like a custody case between the school and parents, and will take an opportunity not to respect the rules of the school,” says psychologist Dr. June Kaufman.
Brendon’s mom was careful to not criticize the school in front of her son. “The school is a fabulous school for the right kind of kid. It was not the right kind of school for my kids,” she says.
After two years floundering in his middle school, Brendon switched to a different school. But experts say if parents don’t have that choice, and their child is having problems, there are a couple things the parent can do.
First, visit the school before forming an opinion, and observe your child to get a better idea of what really is going on.
Second, talk with administrators about how they might be able to better accommodate your child’s learning needs.
“And importantly,” says Kaufman, “if there’s a choice among teachers, try to determine in conversation with the teacher before they enroll, if they think that child is a good fit, with the teacher.”
And parents should always make kids realize, you won’t always blame the school, or the teacher, if your child has problems.
“My mom told me that if I get in trouble again, I get in big trouble,” says Brendon, “So I’m good now.”
Tips for Parents
################
Should parents side with their child in a dispute between the child and the school? Here are excerpts from an interview on the subject with Dr. June Kaufman, a licensed psychologist:
“I think it creates more problems when (parents) side with their child,” Dr. Kaufman says. “The child is in between, like in a custody case, between the school and parents, and the child will take the opportunity not to respect the rules of the school…
“The most important thing is to have a good fit between the child, teacher and school and have a situation where the parents can work with the school. If the parents are getting calls every day at work about behavior problems at school, they have to look into it, they have to respond, without blaming the school. I think they should look at a school’s policies and, importantly, if there’s a choice among teachers, try to determine in conversations with the teacher—before they enroll the child—if they think their child is a good fit with the teacher. The child has to know, ‘this is a good place for you.’
“I think you have to say to the child, ‘I’ve heard from the teacher that there’s (a problem). I don’t know the whole story. I’ll take your side this time, but if this behavior continues, I’m going to be meeting with the teacher and learning much more about it. So, I don’t know the whole story yet and I might even have to observe in the classroom.’
“There isn’t a perfect child, and even the most model child may even have difficulty, so you don’t want to necessarily believe everything your child tells you.”
Some suggestions for positive steps toward better discipline from the National Education Association (NEA):
Let your children know you like them. Tell your children how much you admire their good qualities.
Let your children know exactly what you expect of them – set limits.
Encourage responsible decision-making. Whenever possible, find areas in which you know your children can make decisions for themselves.
Set a good example. Remember that children are great imitators.
Encourage your children to respect authority. At home, in school, and in other areas of their lives, your children need to know the importance of respecting authority.
If your child is having problems in or out of school, the NEA says don’t waste your time blaming yourself. Although you share the responsibility for your children’s development, you aren’t the only one who influences them. Communicate with your children about the problems they are having. Help them look for solutions.
Finally, the NEA says, “Keep in mind that you can’t shield your children from the problems of the real world. Nor can you keep accidents from happening. Some attempts at good parenting may be overzealous. By trying to avoid being too protective and solicitous for your children’s concerns you can help them become truly independent people.”
References
Dr. June Kaufman, psychologist
National Education Association
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