Parenting ADHD: 10 Common Myths of ADHD

In a recent government survey, 1 in 10 kids was said to have ADHD, a sizable increase from a few years earlier that researchers think might be explained by growing awareness and better screening.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) has been the subject of scrutiny in recent years due to the perception that it’s a faux disorder. A patient isn’t diagnosed after an X-ray or blood test, but rather with a behavioral evaluation that considers his or her unique situation. The lack of physical evidence fuels the skeptics despite the fact that many of them lack experience in dealing with the disorder. Just ask a parent of a child or an adult who suffers from ADHD, and they’ll tell you that it’s more than just the occasional loss of concentration -- it hinders their ability to function to their potential, in school and social situations. The following myths have been perpetuated by people who don’t understand ADHD but have been debunked by doctors, mental health professionals and people who live with the disorder.

1. ADHD isn’t a real problem: It’s a common opinion that disorders like ADHD were devised by drug companies in order to make a few extra bucks, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, it’s a recognized disorder by the American Psychiatric Association (APA), Centers for Disease Control (CDC), American Medical Association (AMA), National Institutes of Health (NIH) and a majority of national psychiatric and psychological organizations. Acknowledgment of ADHD is almost unanimous by mental health professionals and researchers who have studied it.
2. ADHD is an excuse: As previously mentioned, ADHD is a legitimate disorder, and one that can hinder a person’s ability to reach their full academic and personal potential. Symptoms include: difficulty focusing on one thing, difficulty learning something new or completing a task, listening problems, general confusion and disorganization, the inability to sit still, the constant desire to be in motion, excessive talking, the inability to remain quiet for even short periods of time, and poor impulse control. A comprehensive list of symptoms is available by clicking the link.
3. Strict discipline can solve childhood ADHD-caused problems: Many people claim that strict discipline can solve a child’s behavioral problems caused by ADHD. Some skeptics tend to view it as a generational problem, asserting that children are spoiled and need to be more harshly punished for their actions. The truth of the matter is that children with ADHD lack sufficient impulse control and excessive punishment can prove damaging to their mental health. And while it’s important to set clear expectations and establish structure, it’s also essential that parents remain patient with their children.
4. All ADHD sufferers are hyperactive: Although constant hyperactivity is the primary problem associated with ADHD, it’s not the only symptom. Inattentive-type ADHD, or ADHD without the “H,” has become more recognized by the medical community in recent years. A person can control their impulses while being inattentive, which can lead to substandard academic performance. Even shyness is characteristic of inattentive-type ADHD sufferers; children with the disorder require positive attention, as low self-esteem may become an issue.
5. ADHD indicates a lack of intelligence: A Yale report published in 2009 showed that about three of four people with ADHD and an IQ score of more than 120 experienced difficulties with memory and cognitive tests. On the other hand, people without ADHD with similar IQ scores didn’t have as many problems. ADHD doesn’t discriminate based on IQ score. People of all intelligence levels have it; many just need assistance in harnessing their capabilities.
6. ADHD medication causes a drugged feeling: A doctor or mental health specialist will determine the appropriate treatment for ADHD based on the unique needs of the patient. Side effects are closely monitored and if a medication has an adverse effect, the dosage will be lowered or it will be changed to something more suitable. The stimulant that’s typically prescribed comes in different forms, including capsule, pill, patch and liquid. Some have short-term effects while others have long-term effects. In short, there’s not one treatment that’s applied to everyone.
7. ADHD can be diagnosed through a medication trial: Psychostimulants have the same effect on people without ADHD as they do on people with ADHD, so a noticeable difference in behavior subsequent to taking a medication isn’t a true indicator that a person has the disorder. A person who thinks they may have ADHD should consult a doctor or mental health specialist, and he or she will make an assessment with the assistance of diagnostic criteria established by the American Psychiatric Association, or the American Academy of Pediatrics if a child is being examined.
8. ADHD diagnoses have become too common: According to the CDC, just three to seven percent of school-aged children had ADHD in 2006. Between 1997 and 2006, diagnoses of ADHD increased by an average of just three percent each year. A 2005 report by the CDC indicated that 4.4 million children aged four to 17 were diagnosed with the disorder, and just 2.5 million of them were prescribed medication. What’s more, many medical professionals and researchers assert that girls and minorities are underdiagnosed.
9. ADHD is limited to children: Many children who endure ADHD still battle it well into adulthood, and many adults will be diagnosed for the first time years after they’ve entered the real word. Instead of forgetting homework assignments, failing to complete in-class assignments and inefficiently studying, they may forget an appointment, produce at a slower rate than their peers, and exhibit a general lack of preparation. In many cases, the result is job instability and a lack of career fulfillment, which can affect their overall quality of life. Adults who think they may have ADHD shouldn’t hesitate to visit a doctor or mental health specialist.
10. People with ADHD can’t succeed: The lengthy list of talented people who have ADHD includes 14-time gold medalist Michael Phelps, four-time Super Bowl champion Terry Bradshaw, Kinko’s founder Paul Orfalea, and Virgin Group founder and billionaire Richard Branson. Additionally, great innovators, thinkers and leaders from the past are said to have shown symptoms of the disorder, like Albert Einstein, Beethoven, Charles Schwab and John Lennon. Given the sheer amount of people who have overcome ADHD to achieve their dreams, it’s clear that it doesn’t have to be an impediment to success.

Contributor: Jasmine Hall

Be an educated parent, you will have safer and healthier teens.

Read more.

Sue Scheff: We've Got Issues - Children and Parents in the Age of Medication

What a fascinating new book by Judith Warner.  Here are some highlights:

• Extraordinary stories from parents that reveal, in a very visceral way, the lived reality of having children who struggle with bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, autism, Asperger’s, ADHD, and other disorders.
  

• Why there is such a widespread perception that many of the treatments and services related to children’s mental health—whether medication, therapy, special education, or school accommodations—are basically a sham, a way for some parents to help their kids get a leg up on everyone else.  Warner also explores a much larger and darker reality behind this perception: Only parents with considerable means (and the time and the savvy that usually accompany such means) are able to navigate our school systems to get the services and accommodation to which kids with issues are entitled.  The startling truth is that for most kids in America, mental health care is nonexistent.
  

• Since the early 1990s the number of children receiving diagnoses of mental health disorders has tripled.  This vast increase has fed enormous skepticism, prompted talk of “epidemics,” and serves as a mainstay of the so-called naysayer position—namely that there were virtually no kids with mental health issues in the past, but somehow, suddenly, they’ve sprung up from nowhere.  Warner looks at key factors driving this widespread perception, including increased visibility and profound changes in how parents, teachers, and doctors look at and label kids who have problems.
  

• A look at what the author considers the true epidemic in this country when it comes to children’s mental health: the lack of quality care.  Says Warner, “At a time when we have treatments that actually work, when there’s more research than ever before, more knowledge, better understanding, more support in the schools, and more public awareness of the dangers of untreated mental illness, the actual caretaking that kids with mental health needs receive, is for the most part, really poor.”
  

• A look at what Warner calls “the new face of mental health stigma in our time”—a web of belief that combines doubts that mental health problems are real and aspersions cast on parents of children with problems with a tendency to conflate children’s disorders with bad behavior. The net result is that children are viewed symbolically—as canaries in the coal mine, showing the frontline symptoms of the toxicity of our pathological age—instead of as real people.  This so-called “naysayer” position, says Warner, “is voiced as concern, as a desire to save children, and as a wish to give childhood back to kids, but what it really is, most of the time, is prejudice.  And it’s a poison.”
  

• Why people have a hard time acknowledging that children’s disorders are common, impairing, at least in part genetic, and very real.  Warner also looks at what the latest scientific research has to say about the interplay between genes and environment in causing the kinds of disorders we’re seeing in kids. And she shows how this complex and nuanced way of thinking opens up avenues for understanding that are very different from those dictated by the more black-and-white terms in which children’s mental health issues are typically painted in the public debate.
  

• A look at the irresponsible marketing practices of Big Pharma; its control of published research; and its co-opting of government regulators and institutions, including the Food and Drug Administration and the National Institutes of Health.  Warner also looks at the damage done to the psychiatric profession by individual psychiatrists who have enriched themselves by becoming what amounts to shadow employees of the drug companies.  “For many people, the revelation of psychiatry’s extensive ties to the pharmaceutical industry are just proof of the inner corruption of the whole psychiatric enterprise in the age of biological psychiatry.”
  

• A debunking of the commonly held belief—fostered by a dizzying array of damning numbers that have made headlines over the past ten years—that kids are being given meds virtually like candy, by parents and doctors.   Warner shows that the total number of kids taking antidepressants and psychotropic drugs is far smaller than most people think.  Even after decades of rapid increase, the percentage of American kids taking medications—5 percent—is still just a fraction of the number of kids with diagnosable “issues.”
  

• The romanticization of mental illness.  Warner reflects on the harm done when depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, autism, and other disorders are treated as quirks of personality to be cultivated and preserved, even celebrated as expressions of individuality and a highly refined sensitibility.  She also explores the widespread, unthinking trivialization of mental health disorders in our public discourse and shows how it can lead parents to minimize their children’s problems and not seek help for them.
  

• A look at the seductive belief that our toxic world is either producing symptoms in children or classifying children as abnormal when they don’t conform.  Warner argues that the pathologies of our out-of-whack society just can’t provide a sufficient explanation for why some children develop disorders like autism, ADHD, Asperger’s, bipolar disorder, and so on, while the overwhelming majority does not.
  

• How the bottom line—cost control measures decided upon by health insurance companies—is driving the mental health care of kids today.  Says Warner, “There should be gatekeepers within our health care system shepherding parents toward getting the best treatments.  There should be protocols for what these best treatments consist of.  There should be safeguards against profiteering and quackery.  There should be affordable access.  There should be guidance, and protections in place to make parents feel that they can trust whatever care their children receive is safe, necessary, and of proven efficacy.  None of this is happening.”
  

WE’VE GOT ISSUES concludes with a look at how we, as a society, can bring an essential and much-needed humanity to the treatment of kids with special needs.  The way to start, according to Warner, is by advocating for better care.  Among other things, she argues for health care reform that will allow annual or semiannual extended visits with pediatricians to talk about children’s lives and screen for mental health issues; the passage of long-stalled legislation to address the appalling shortage of doctors who specialize in child and adolescent psychiatry; better incentives to get more child psychiatrists and psychologists to participate in health insurance; and a legislative mandate that requires insurers to provide mental health services.  Warner also looks at the ways in which medical schools and academic research institutions, to greatly varying degrees, have started taking steps to reduce the influence of the drug companies, or at least avoid the appearance of conflict of interest.  She reflects on various efforts to change the way drug research is conducted and funded.  And she advocates for putting a stop to, or at least tightly regulating, the pharmaceutical industry’s direct-to-consumer advertising.        


Above all, Warner insists, it’s time not only to rethink our commonly held beliefs about “labeling” and “drugging” children but also to become more aware of what the lived reality of having children, or being a child, with special needs is.  Says Warner, “Those parents you see, going from doctor to doctor and trying pill after pill?  They’re scared.  They need help.  And so do their kids.”


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Sue Scheff: ADHD School Help: Working with the Teacher

Source: ADDitude Magazine

A realistic game plan so parents can set up school help -- special services and ADHD classroom accommodations to help children with ADD and learning disabilities succeed.

by Laura Flynn McCarthy

From extra time on tests or a seat near the blackboard to a full-time aide, children with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) are legally entitled to school help, with ADHD accommodations in the classroom. But even though students should receive academic accommodations, there’s no assurance that he or she will actually get them. This is especially true in our time of under-funded schools and overworked teachers.

What does it take to get your child the accommodations he or she needs? “You need to have an understanding of your child’s ADHD, and how it affects him,” says Robert Tudisco, of White Plains, New York, a lawyer who frequently advocates for special-needs children. “And you need to know exactly what you want the school to do to help.”

In addition, says Tudisco (who, like many of his clients, has ADHD), parents must know how to ask for these accommodations — and, when necessary, how to push for them without seeming pushy.

It’s essential to view teachers and school administrators as allies, rather than adversaries — and to mind your manners. If you come across as rude or impatient, says Tudisco, school officials may be slow to provide the accommodations you request — if they grant them at all. In some cases, officials withhold accommodations to “punish” parents they deem “difficult.”

“Administrators and teachers often tell me, ‘You should have heard the way that mother spoke to me,’” says Tudisco. “Or, they’ll say, ‘That father slammed his fist on the desk and walked out of the meeting!’ When getting kids with ADHD the services they need in school, 85 percent of what goes into it is diplomacy, pure and simple.”

Kristin Hill Callejas, a first-grade teacher in Shelley, Idaho, has had her share of run-ins with parents. She recalls one mother’s demands for special help for her son, who had experienced academic difficulties in kindergarten. “She stormed into the classroom, spewing fire from her nostrils and muttering things under her breath,” says Callejas. “Only after she calmed down, and we got to a level of mutual respect and civility, were we able to work together to come up with some effective strategies.”

Starting the conversation

If your child needs only minor accommodations -- a bit more time to complete tests, for example, or a sticker chart as an incentive to behave better in class -- you may be able to line them up simply by speaking with the teacher. Often, the best approach is to contact the school to schedule a meeting just before the school year begins.

During your initial conversation with the teacher, give her your phone number and e-mail address. Let her know that you are always available to talk about your child and the challenges he or she faces. Also, find out how much the teacher knows about ADHD. “It’s perfectly reasonable to ask, ‘Have you worked with students with ADHD before?’” says Callejas. “That can start a discussion about what strategies the teacher has used before and what might work best with your child, and give you a sense of whether the teacher is flexible and open to suggestions.”

No matter how the teacher treats you, treat her with courtesy and respect. Making accusations or being needlessly confrontational is likely to backfire. “Don’t go in with guns blazing, ready to attack,” says Callejas. “When you expect the worst, you set a negative tone from the beginning.”

Sue Scheff: ADHD and a Bad Reaction

Source: ADDitude Magazine

People with ADHD tend to run with negative thoughts and emotions. When I don't notice the present—and fixate on the past—there is a sense of desperation, and no one to share it with.

The vicious cycle continues. Ever since I've been taking Adderall for my adult attention deficit disorder, I've felt focused, and yet sadder and angry. There is an edge that is sharpened by this medication, and I'm not sure that I like it. I wonder if it is childhood trauma, a personality disorder, or the ADHD medication. There are extreme ups and downs, and little control over either.

The new guy's name is Mr. Put Together, clean, organized, on the heavy side, smart, and attentive. He has many friends (many of them female), is very social, and has given me the keys to his apartment. And yet I am hung up on the Chef, who has clearly told me that we're not dating. There is no interest, he's bored. I wonder if that is how I will be too. After the chase what else is there? I too will be bored.

Recently, the father, Mr. Put Together, and I met at a fund-raising benefits event that I helped put together. It was truly a New York moment. The event was held in an expansive loft with a grand terrace, and one of the finest views of Columbus Circle and Central Park.

The caterers served white sangria and all-you-could-drink red and white wine. We sat on the terrace, the sky above gray, the wind kicking up a notch, and talked. Mr. Put Together loves to talk. He's very ambitious and has grand plans—life after his government career includes a best-selling novel. And yet I felt extremely subdued. I wanted no part of the party and the conversation, I was not happy.

Later, when we had drinks at a restaurant not far from the event, I was equally as blue. In desperation I called up the Chef, who brusquely asked me what I wanted. I lied and said I had a crisis. There was a mouse under the sink. "Can I come over, I'll sleep on the couch," I said.
There was a long pause, and he said, "OK, but I have to get up at 4 a.m." I felt like a swimmer lost at sea who had stumbled upon an island at last. I did not want sex, I did not want a boyfriend, and I did not want to go back to the room in the sketchy neighborhood.

I wanted an oasis and a place to exhale. That much the Chef gave me. He buzzed me in and threw me a pillow and sheet. "Do what you want, Jane," he said. "I'm going to sleep."

I thought back to the night. Mr. Put Together had observed that I seemed stressed and jittery. I said that I'm really an introvert and I just need a bit of down time, time to work out and swim. There is truth in that, but at the same time I don't know what is going wrong, why the sadness and feeling of hopelessness. There is much that is wrong and much that is right, too. Perhaps the greatest tragedy is when we don't notice the present, and I fear that once again I am fixated on the past, on beating a dead horse. I wish that I were more carefree, more focused, that I lived up to my potential.

Will I tell Mr. Put Together about the meds, and what might be his reaction to them? Perhaps at some point, but right now it's too early. The result would be like aborting a flight that had not even taken off yet.
by Jane D.

Sue Scheff: Summer Survival Tips for Families Managing ADHD

Source: PowerMomsUnite

Striking a Balance: Summer Survival Tips for Families Managing ADHD

One major issue with ADHD and summer vacations is the bored factor. Once the novelty of having all that free-time-to-do-anything wears away, what to do with all that free time becomes a problem. On the other hand, over-scheduling and over-planning the summer can lead to burn-out and irritability for both parents and children. The art of managing ADHD during the summer is really about the art of finding balance. Several strategies can help strike this balance.

Keep a calendar: Use a monthly or weekly calendar and write down vacation, camp and community trip dates. Kids need routine to feel secure, but be sure to leave some dates empty to allow for free time to simple create and imagine in the back yard.

Prescript your day: Early in the day, sit with your child and review what they want to accomplish and what you need to accomplish. Negotiate how each of you will spend your time so as not to conflict. Explicitly state how you expect your child to behave for any important activities (like that very important conference call at 1PM) and be sure to reward them for following the “script.”

Make a summer contract: Use the summer as an opportunity to help your child explore their interests, reinforce their academic skills, and find their passions. Write out a contract with your child, in which they list their goals for the summer. Goals could include places they would like to visit, books they would like to read, cub scout activities they would like to complete, models they would like to build- the list of possibilities is endless. Include goals you and the teacher identify as well. If you have a therapist, consult them regarding activities to persue over the summer break. Activities can be focused on building a friendship with a particular friend, trying new foods with dinner, volunteering at a local soup kitchen, or learning the steps to complimenting a sibling. Set a due date and reward for completing each goal. Consider rewarding the child with a bonus for completing all their goals for the summer.

Loosen up but keep a routine: Part of the brillance of summer is the long days and lazy nights without a tight schedule to keep. The occasional later bedtime and relaxation of the rules are part of the inherent beauty of summer vacation. That being said, basic family rules, chores, and routines still need to be followed. Be mindful that a little sleep deprivation can lead to meltdowns for both parent and child any time of year. Rules about not playing on the computer all day, still need to be followed, even during the summer. Too much screen time robs kids of opportunities to build social skills and develop interests as well as leads to irritability.

Manage medicine: Some parents take a medication vacation over the summer, in an effort to allow their children to gain some weight and height. There is little evidence however, that ADHD medications permanently impact a child’s height. Kids often grow slower than their non-medicated peers, but do eventually catch-up.
Before taking a medication vacation, consider all the aspects of your child’s summer. Will you be taking a long trip, during which time your child will need to sit still? How will you all survive the trip? Will your child be in camp, where she will need to follow directions? Will ADHD behavior make it hard for her to participate in group activities or attend to social cues from new friends? Will your child have lots of unscheduled time with neighborhood kids, in which impulsive behavior could result in unsafe decisions or poor peer interactions? Before taking a medication vacation, consider all these potential situations.

ADHD is a chronic lifelong condition that needs to managed- will your child’s self-esteem, self-image, and social skill acquisition benefit from a medication vacation? Consider your goals for your child’s summer and how a medication vacation could affect your child’s success in their summer activities.

In lieu of a complete ADHD medication vacation, consider the use of shorter acting medications for the most challenging activities of your child’s summer- like a long car ride or plane trip. Shorter acting medications can cause fewer appetite- suppressing effects. Speak with your child’s physician, and collaborate with your child, as you make these decisions. Remember that as you are modeling healthy management of a condition that will likely be a lifelong journey for your child. Fuel their passions, provide opportunities to build skills, and model a healthy approach to symptom management.

Relax: Use the summer to reconnect and play. Just as your kids schedule time to do homework during the school year, schedule regular time to play with your kids every day after work. Play catch, go for a swim, bike down to the ice cream shop- do activities together to build your relationship and create a healthy self- image. Enjoy your summer together!

Sue Scheff: ADHD Alternatives

As a parent of an ADHD child, I have always been aware of the Feingold Program. Although I wasn’t able to use the diet for my son, I know many success stories and believe that parents should be aware of all alternatives.

Source: Feingold Association

What: Free seminar on dietary options for children (and adults!) with learning, behavior, and other health problems,AND a hands-on activity in which you can find out for yourself just how much food dye it takes to create those pretty colors of frosting on a cupcake.

WHEN: Thursday, June 25, 2009 7:00 pm – 8:30 pm

WHERE: Marriott SpringHill Suites Hotel 899 Elkridge Landing RoadLinthicum, Maryland (near BWI Airport)(410) 694-0555

SPONSOR: The Feingold AssociationTel: 800-321-3287 or 631-369-9340

Sue Scheff: ADHD School Behavior

How teachers and parents can inspire better ADHD school behavior with help from these impulse-controlling exercises for children with attention-deficit.

by ADDitude Editors

The problem: The student with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) interrupts the teacher and classmates by calling out answers or commenting while others are speaking.

The reason: Children with ADHD have difficulty controlling their impulses. Scientists believe that a problem with dopamine, a brain chemical, causes them to respond immediately and reflexively to their environment — whether the stimulus is a question, an idea, or a treat. That’s why they often seem to act or talk before thinking, and ADHD school behavior suffers as a result.
The obstacles: Children with ADHD may not be aware that they are interrupting.

Even if they are, they have difficulty understanding that their behavior is disturbing or disruptive to others.Simply telling them their behavior is wrong doesn’t help. Even though they know this, their impulsivity overrides their self-control. Many ADHD children can’t understand nonverbal reprimands, like frowning, either.

Read entire article here: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1977.html

ADHD College Survival Guide

Visit ADDitude's ADHD College Survival Guide

John Muscarello had no trouble making the transition to college life, despite his severe attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD).

That's because the 20-year-old cultivated good habits while attending high school in Glen Head, New York. "I had an assignment pad where I wrote everything down," he explains. "I also had a big calendar on my bedroom wall. I wrote down upcoming papers and dates, so I always knew what I had going on. I would get home from sports, take a shower, eat dinner, take a pill, and then do all my work."

In high school, John handed in papers before they were due. "Teachers would help me revise them," he says, "and I'd hand them in again, when everyone else did." And he cultivated close relationships with faculty members - a strategy he continues at Pennsylvania's York College by e-mailing his professors at the beginning of each semester to introduce himself and explain his academic "issues." He got this idea from his mother, Mary, who always made it a point to meet with her son's teachers to give them a heads-up.

Of course, laughs Mary, "The fact that we owned a pastry shop and brought stuff to school didn't hurt either."

Things were different for David Burkhart, a 28-year-old graduate student. He had done well at the prep school he attended, where students woke up, ate, studied, and went to bed at prescribed times. Given the order imposed on him, no one even suspected that David had ADD, as well as dysgraphia.

But David's life unraveled as he began his freshman year at Auburn University.

"I got to college and moved into my own apartment. For the first time in my life, I didn't have a bedtime," he says. "I had no clue how to eat or plan my day. I went from having one hour of free time a day to having three hours of class a day - and nobody cared if I didn't show up for those. I 'washed my clothes' by buying new stuff. I bought a new pair of slacks every week."

Within weeks, David had dropped all his classes. He tried to hide the truth from his parents, but his father, the chairman of Auburn's psychology department, and his mother soon found out. David's dad sent him to live with an uncle in Florida, where he spent four grueling months pouring asphalt and considering what he would do differently if he returned to college.

Read entire article: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1018.html

Sue Scheff: Standing Up for Your Children's Educational Rights

By ADDitude Magazine

Learn your child’s educational rights to get him the support he needs in the classroom.

In an ideal world, teachers and school administrators would be as eager as parents to see that children with ADD get what they need to succeed in school. Unfortunately, teachers are pressed for time as never before, and school districts are strapped for cash. So it’s up to parents to make sure that their kids get the extra support they need.

“The federal government requires schools to provide special services to kids with ADD and other disabilities, but the school systems themselves bear much of the cost of these services,” says Susan Luger, director of The Children’s Advisory Group in New York City. “Though they’ll never admit it, this gives the schools an incentive to deny these services. The process of obtaining services has become much more legalistic over the past 10 years.”

Click here for the entire article.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Parenting ADHD Children - Advice from Moms

By ADDitude Magazine

Moms' advice for parenting ADHD children, creating an ADD-friendly household and smoothing out daily rough spots

It’s the stuff attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) days are made of: You’re trying to get your daughter to finish her homework, but she insists on doing cartwheels across the living room. Or you’ve already had two big dustups with your son — and it’s only 9 a.m.

Sound familiar? Parents of ADHD children have a lot on their plates. And while doctors, therapists, and ADD coaches can offer helpful guidance, much of the best, most practical advice on parenting ADD children comes from those who have been there, done that. In other words, from other ADHD parents.

For this article, ADDitude asked members of support groups across the country (both live and online) for their tried-and-true parenting skill tips for monitoring behavior problems, disciplining and smoothing out the daily rough spots. Here’s what they said.

The morning routine
In many families, the friction starts soon after the alarm clocks sound. It’s not easy to coax a spacey, unmotivated child out of bed and into his clothes; the strategizing required to get the entire family fed and out the door on time would test the mettle of General Patton.

Getting off to a slower start can make all the difference, say parents. “We wake our son up a half-hour early,” says Toya J., of Brooklyn, New York, mother of eight-year-old Jamal. “We give him his medication, and then let him lie in our bed for a while. If we rush him, he gets overwhelmed — and so do we. Once the meds kick in, it’s much easier to get him going.”

Some parents aren’t above a little bribery. “In our house, it’s all about rewards,” says Jenny S., of New York City, mother of Jeremy, age seven. “Every time we have a good morning, I put a marble in the jar. For every five marbles, he wins a small reward.”

Amy B., of Los Angeles, mother of Jared, age seven, is another believer in reward systems. “If the TV is on, it’s impossible to get him moving. Now the TV stays off until absolutely everything is done and he’s ready to go. He moves quickly because he wants to watch that television.”

Another way to keep your morning structured and problem-free is to divide it into a series of simple, one-step tasks. “I’m the list queen,” says Debbie G., of Phoenix, mother of Zach, 10. “I put a list on his bedroom door that tells him step-by-step what he needs to do. I break his morning routine down into simple steps, like ‘BRUSH TEETH,’ ‘MAKE BED,’ ‘GET DRESSED,’ and ‘COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR BREAKFAST.’ The key is to make it easy to follow.”

What about kids who simply cannot, or will not, do what’s asked of them? When 10-year-old Liam refuses to comply, his mom, Dina A., of New York City, shifts into “if-you-can’t-beat-’em,-join-’em” mode. “I can’t believe I’m admitting this,” she says, “but I wake him up and bring him cereal in bed. Once he’s gotten something to eat, he’s not as crabby.”

Behavior patterns
At first glance, a child’s misadventures may seem random. But spend a week or two playing detective, and you may see a pattern. Pay attention to the specific situations that lead to trouble and — even more important — to the times of day when trouble usually occurs.

“You may find that tantrums come at certain times of the day,” says Laura K., of San Francisco, mother of Jack, eight. “With my son, we found that it was right after the medication wore off. So we asked the doctor for a small booster dose to get us through. It’s worked wonders for cutting down on the bad behavior.”

Sometimes children simply fail to see the connection between how they behave and how they’re treated. In such cases, behavior charts are a godsend. The idea is to post a chart, specifying the behaviors you expect and the rewards the child will earn for toeing the line.

Renee L., of Northbrook, Illinois, mother of Justin, nine, explains: “Once children see that good behavior gets them privileges and bad behavior gets them nothing, they’re more likely to comply.” It helps to focus on only a few behaviors at a time.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) ADHD Teens - Room to Bloom

By ADDitude Magazine

10 ways for protective parents to step back and allow their ADHD Teens to Grow..

I saw Donny for an evaluation shortly after his eleventh birthday. Like many parents, his mother, Christine, reacted to his diagnosis with mixed feelings: sadness that her son was not "perfect" and that the attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) wouldn't go away - and concern about the implications for his future. She hoped that the treatment plan we devised - a combination of academic accommodations, therapy, and medication - would improve their day-to-day lives. Mostly, she was determined to do whatever was necessary to help her son.

Christine became the boy's champion, protector, and advocate. She coordinated with Donny's teachers, school counselors, soccer coaches, piano teachers, and the parents of his friends to make sure that they understood his needs and treated him fairly. She attended IEP meetings and helped shape his academic plan. Morning, homework, and bedtime routines were established to structure life at home. The bottom line? Donny thrived.

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Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Behavior Therapy for Children with ADHD

By ADDitude Magazine

Seven parenting strategies guaranteed to improve the behavior of your child with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD).

The fundamentals of behavior therapy are easy to understand and implement, even without the help of a therapist. Have you ever given your child a time-out for talking back — or a “heads-up” before taking him someplace that is likely to challenge his self-control? Then you already have a sense of how behavior therapy works.

“A lot of behavior modification is just common-sense parenting,” says William Pelham, Jr., Ph.D., director of the Center for Children and Families at the State University of New York at Buffalo. “The problem is that none of us were trained how to be good parents, and none of us expected to have children who needed parents with great parenting skills and patience.”

The basic idea is to set specific rules governing your child’s behavior (nothing vague or too broad), and to enforce your rules consistently, with positive consequences for following them and negative consequences for infractions. Dr. Pelham suggests these seven strategies:1. Make sure your child understands the rules.

Telling a child to “do this” or to “avoid doing that” is not enough. To ensure that your child knows the rules cold, create lists and post them around the house. For example, you might draw up a list detailing the specific things your child must do to get ready for school.Make sure the rules are worded clearly. Go over the rules to make sure he understands, and review them as necessary. Stick with the routines until your child has them down.

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Sue Scheff: Can Children Outgrow ADHD?

By ADDitude Magazine

Parents of children with attention deficit disorder often wonder if their kids will stay on ADD drugs for life. A medical expert explains.

I recently diagnosed eight-year-old Aidan with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD). When I met with his parents to explain the disorder, each time I described a symptom, his mother exclaimed, “That’s me!” or “I’ve been like that all my life, too.” At the end of the appointment, she asked me if she should be evaluated, as well.

As an adult, Aidan’s mother had jumped from job to job, and had difficulty meeting household demands. As a child, she had struggled through school, often getting into trouble and getting poor grades. After a thorough evaluation of her chronic and pervasive history of hyperactivity, distractibility, and other symptoms of ADHD, she was diagnosed by a psychiatrist who works with adults.

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Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) ADHD Teens and Puberty

By ADDitude Magazine

What parents of ADHD boys should watch for as their sons pass through adolescence.

Until he was 10 or 11, Robert was cheerful and lively, if sometimes distractible and hyper. Then came 12 and 13.

“He alternates between couch potato and monster,” says his mother, Anne. “What happened to my sweet little boy?”What happened were puberty (physical changes) and adolescence (psychological and social changes), which occur when children begin maturing into adults.

Some kids begin to “act” like adolescents before puberty; others may not accept the role of adolescent until long after puberty. Whenever they happen, you’re in for a bumpy ride.Fortunately, boys with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) don’t seem to have more difficulty coping with puberty than others. However, their particular problems and stresses may differ somewhat. Here are some issues to consider.

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Sue Scheff - Standing Up For Your Child's Educational Rights

By ADDitude Magazine

Learn your child’s educational rights to get him the support he needs in the classroom.

In an ideal world, teachers and school administrators would be as eager as parents to see that children with ADD get what they need to succeed in school. Unfortunately, teachers are pressed for time as never before, and school districts are strapped for cash. So it’s up to parents to make sure that their kids get the extra support they need.

“The federal government requires schools to provide special services to kids with ADD and other disabilities, but the school systems themselves bear much of the cost of these services,” says Susan Luger, director of The Children’s Advisory Group in New York City. “Though they’ll never admit it, this gives the schools an incentive to deny these services. The process of obtaining services has become much more legalistic over the past 10 years.”

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Sue Scheff: Parenting Children with ADHD

As a parent of an ADHD child, I know the struggles and frustrations I had endured as well as the rewards. Now there are so many new resources. ADDitude Magazine and websites offers volumes of fantastic and educational information for parent of ADD ADHD kids.

Visit their Parenting Forum.

http://www.helpyourteens.com/
http://www.witsendbook.com/

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) The Feingold Program

The Feingold Program (also known as the Feingold Diet) is a test to determine if certain foods or food additives are triggering particular symptoms. It is basically the way people used to eat before "hyperactivity" became a household word, and before asthma and chronic ear infections became so very common. Used originally as a diet for allergies, improvement in behavior and attention was first noticed as a "side effect." It is a reasonable first step to take before (or with if already begun) drug treatment for any of the symptoms listed on the Symptoms page.

Visit http://www.feingold.org/