Parenting ADHD: 10 Common Myths of ADHD

In a recent government survey, 1 in 10 kids was said to have ADHD, a sizable increase from a few years earlier that researchers think might be explained by growing awareness and better screening.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) has been the subject of scrutiny in recent years due to the perception that it’s a faux disorder. A patient isn’t diagnosed after an X-ray or blood test, but rather with a behavioral evaluation that considers his or her unique situation. The lack of physical evidence fuels the skeptics despite the fact that many of them lack experience in dealing with the disorder. Just ask a parent of a child or an adult who suffers from ADHD, and they’ll tell you that it’s more than just the occasional loss of concentration -- it hinders their ability to function to their potential, in school and social situations. The following myths have been perpetuated by people who don’t understand ADHD but have been debunked by doctors, mental health professionals and people who live with the disorder.

1. ADHD isn’t a real problem: It’s a common opinion that disorders like ADHD were devised by drug companies in order to make a few extra bucks, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, it’s a recognized disorder by the American Psychiatric Association (APA), Centers for Disease Control (CDC), American Medical Association (AMA), National Institutes of Health (NIH) and a majority of national psychiatric and psychological organizations. Acknowledgment of ADHD is almost unanimous by mental health professionals and researchers who have studied it.
2. ADHD is an excuse: As previously mentioned, ADHD is a legitimate disorder, and one that can hinder a person’s ability to reach their full academic and personal potential. Symptoms include: difficulty focusing on one thing, difficulty learning something new or completing a task, listening problems, general confusion and disorganization, the inability to sit still, the constant desire to be in motion, excessive talking, the inability to remain quiet for even short periods of time, and poor impulse control. A comprehensive list of symptoms is available by clicking the link.
3. Strict discipline can solve childhood ADHD-caused problems: Many people claim that strict discipline can solve a child’s behavioral problems caused by ADHD. Some skeptics tend to view it as a generational problem, asserting that children are spoiled and need to be more harshly punished for their actions. The truth of the matter is that children with ADHD lack sufficient impulse control and excessive punishment can prove damaging to their mental health. And while it’s important to set clear expectations and establish structure, it’s also essential that parents remain patient with their children.
4. All ADHD sufferers are hyperactive: Although constant hyperactivity is the primary problem associated with ADHD, it’s not the only symptom. Inattentive-type ADHD, or ADHD without the “H,” has become more recognized by the medical community in recent years. A person can control their impulses while being inattentive, which can lead to substandard academic performance. Even shyness is characteristic of inattentive-type ADHD sufferers; children with the disorder require positive attention, as low self-esteem may become an issue.
5. ADHD indicates a lack of intelligence: A Yale report published in 2009 showed that about three of four people with ADHD and an IQ score of more than 120 experienced difficulties with memory and cognitive tests. On the other hand, people without ADHD with similar IQ scores didn’t have as many problems. ADHD doesn’t discriminate based on IQ score. People of all intelligence levels have it; many just need assistance in harnessing their capabilities.
6. ADHD medication causes a drugged feeling: A doctor or mental health specialist will determine the appropriate treatment for ADHD based on the unique needs of the patient. Side effects are closely monitored and if a medication has an adverse effect, the dosage will be lowered or it will be changed to something more suitable. The stimulant that’s typically prescribed comes in different forms, including capsule, pill, patch and liquid. Some have short-term effects while others have long-term effects. In short, there’s not one treatment that’s applied to everyone.
7. ADHD can be diagnosed through a medication trial: Psychostimulants have the same effect on people without ADHD as they do on people with ADHD, so a noticeable difference in behavior subsequent to taking a medication isn’t a true indicator that a person has the disorder. A person who thinks they may have ADHD should consult a doctor or mental health specialist, and he or she will make an assessment with the assistance of diagnostic criteria established by the American Psychiatric Association, or the American Academy of Pediatrics if a child is being examined.
8. ADHD diagnoses have become too common: According to the CDC, just three to seven percent of school-aged children had ADHD in 2006. Between 1997 and 2006, diagnoses of ADHD increased by an average of just three percent each year. A 2005 report by the CDC indicated that 4.4 million children aged four to 17 were diagnosed with the disorder, and just 2.5 million of them were prescribed medication. What’s more, many medical professionals and researchers assert that girls and minorities are underdiagnosed.
9. ADHD is limited to children: Many children who endure ADHD still battle it well into adulthood, and many adults will be diagnosed for the first time years after they’ve entered the real word. Instead of forgetting homework assignments, failing to complete in-class assignments and inefficiently studying, they may forget an appointment, produce at a slower rate than their peers, and exhibit a general lack of preparation. In many cases, the result is job instability and a lack of career fulfillment, which can affect their overall quality of life. Adults who think they may have ADHD shouldn’t hesitate to visit a doctor or mental health specialist.
10. People with ADHD can’t succeed: The lengthy list of talented people who have ADHD includes 14-time gold medalist Michael Phelps, four-time Super Bowl champion Terry Bradshaw, Kinko’s founder Paul Orfalea, and Virgin Group founder and billionaire Richard Branson. Additionally, great innovators, thinkers and leaders from the past are said to have shown symptoms of the disorder, like Albert Einstein, Beethoven, Charles Schwab and John Lennon. Given the sheer amount of people who have overcome ADHD to achieve their dreams, it’s clear that it doesn’t have to be an impediment to success.

Contributor: Jasmine Hall

Be an educated parent, you will have safer and healthier teens.

Read more.

Sue Scheff: ADHD School Help: Working with the Teacher

Source: ADDitude Magazine

A realistic game plan so parents can set up school help -- special services and ADHD classroom accommodations to help children with ADD and learning disabilities succeed.

by Laura Flynn McCarthy

From extra time on tests or a seat near the blackboard to a full-time aide, children with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) are legally entitled to school help, with ADHD accommodations in the classroom. But even though students should receive academic accommodations, there’s no assurance that he or she will actually get them. This is especially true in our time of under-funded schools and overworked teachers.

What does it take to get your child the accommodations he or she needs? “You need to have an understanding of your child’s ADHD, and how it affects him,” says Robert Tudisco, of White Plains, New York, a lawyer who frequently advocates for special-needs children. “And you need to know exactly what you want the school to do to help.”

In addition, says Tudisco (who, like many of his clients, has ADHD), parents must know how to ask for these accommodations — and, when necessary, how to push for them without seeming pushy.

It’s essential to view teachers and school administrators as allies, rather than adversaries — and to mind your manners. If you come across as rude or impatient, says Tudisco, school officials may be slow to provide the accommodations you request — if they grant them at all. In some cases, officials withhold accommodations to “punish” parents they deem “difficult.”

“Administrators and teachers often tell me, ‘You should have heard the way that mother spoke to me,’” says Tudisco. “Or, they’ll say, ‘That father slammed his fist on the desk and walked out of the meeting!’ When getting kids with ADHD the services they need in school, 85 percent of what goes into it is diplomacy, pure and simple.”

Kristin Hill Callejas, a first-grade teacher in Shelley, Idaho, has had her share of run-ins with parents. She recalls one mother’s demands for special help for her son, who had experienced academic difficulties in kindergarten. “She stormed into the classroom, spewing fire from her nostrils and muttering things under her breath,” says Callejas. “Only after she calmed down, and we got to a level of mutual respect and civility, were we able to work together to come up with some effective strategies.”

Starting the conversation

If your child needs only minor accommodations -- a bit more time to complete tests, for example, or a sticker chart as an incentive to behave better in class -- you may be able to line them up simply by speaking with the teacher. Often, the best approach is to contact the school to schedule a meeting just before the school year begins.

During your initial conversation with the teacher, give her your phone number and e-mail address. Let her know that you are always available to talk about your child and the challenges he or she faces. Also, find out how much the teacher knows about ADHD. “It’s perfectly reasonable to ask, ‘Have you worked with students with ADHD before?’” says Callejas. “That can start a discussion about what strategies the teacher has used before and what might work best with your child, and give you a sense of whether the teacher is flexible and open to suggestions.”

No matter how the teacher treats you, treat her with courtesy and respect. Making accusations or being needlessly confrontational is likely to backfire. “Don’t go in with guns blazing, ready to attack,” says Callejas. “When you expect the worst, you set a negative tone from the beginning.”

Sue Scheff: Single Parents: How to Raise ADHD Children – Alone

Source: ADDitude Magazine

Seven expert strategies to help single parents raise confident, successful children with ADHD.

by John Taylor, Ph.D.

You're sitting in the principal's office, waiting to talk about your child’s misbehavior. You consider how much easier this would be — not to mention running the household — if your spouse were still in the picture. Raising a child with ADHD can challenge parents in a strong marriage. Doing it alone seems impossible.

It doesn’t have to be. I’ve worked with many single parents who have done it without losing their sanity or their sense of humor. What’s more, their children have thrived, developing a full complement of social skills and flourishing at school and in their careers. All successful single parents have a plan — strategies for taking some of the parenting pressure off their shoulders and nipping little problems in the bud. Here are my best suggestions for going it alone.

1. Make and stick to routines.

When you find your car keys in the cutlery drawer and Chinese food containers in the cabinet, it’s time to make hard-and-fast routines for your home. Set up chore charts, with firm times for accomplishing each task.

Consider listing chores on separate charts, so that children can choose a task from each chart each day. No one wants to be consistently stuck with the most unsavory one — like cleaning the downstairs toilet.

2. Schedule “together time.”

Being the breadwinner and raising a child can drain your energy, leaving you exhausted and irritable. Too many skirmishes, however small, can erode a child’s perception of feeling loved. Every week, press the “love-reset” button by spending some recreational time with each of your children.

The shared time should be child-oriented and involve high-quality interaction between the two of you. Reading together, playing a board game or cards, watching a DVD or video, riding bicycles, or making a favorite meal will do nicely. Sibling rivalry, often a concern in families with ADHD, will decrease considerably if you schedule regular together time.

3. Outsource activities.

Music or art lessons, martial-arts classes, or after-school sports enrich the lives of children with ADHD. Such activities develop their abilities and social skills. Getting your children to lessons and appointments, however, may seem like more than you can manage. Don’t ditch the activities; get help.

Arrange for your children to share rides with other kids in the same program. Call relatives or friends to see if they can occasionally run your child to his guitar lesson or gymnastics hour.

4. Streamline mealtime.

Kids with ADHD benefit from helping out with menu planning, meal preparation, and setting and clearing the table. To shorten your list of chores, make children responsible for preparing part of one meal each week, whether it’s dessert or a salad. While you’re at it, prepare double portions of the main course, and refrigerate or freeze them for next week. Get into the habit of clearing and washing dishes immediately after each meal or snack. No TV or computer time until the “clean team” places the dishes in the dishwasher and the condiments back in the fridge.

5. Put a sock in it.

Many single parents act like super-cops, because there is no one else around to remind their child about homework, taking a shower, whatever. The problem is, nagging creates tension in the household. Be alert for opportunities to let your child take the lead. Ask him to tape-record reminders for himself, so you don’t have to do all the reminding. A laid-back approach brings peace and harmony into the family, and empowers an absentminded child to take control of his day.

6. Agree on treatment.

When your child visits your ex-spouse, his treatment program may be interrupted or called into question. Arrange a joint session with your child’s counselor, therapist, or physician to educate the other parent about why treatment is needed. If the non-custodial parent decides to take the child off medication, and symptoms flare up, use that potentially unpleasant experience as leverage to require your spouse to maintain the treatment plan during the next visit.

7. Agree on responsibilities.
If your child can’t wait to get to Dad’s house every other weekend, Dad might be spoiling him with unadulterated fun. ADHD children often yo-yo between the excessively permissive parent and the taskmaster. The contrast between fun-and-games visits and daily routines at home can create problems for you. Ask your ex-spouse to assign the child some tasks when visiting with him, even if you have to sit down and map them out. Also, make sure that life at home isn’t all work and no play (see “Schedule ‘together time’”). Single parenting is challenging, but it can be fun as well.

Sue Scheff: Parenting Teens with ADHD

Source: More4KidsToday

By: Jennifer Shakeel

You know that your child has presented special challenges to you as they have grown. This is true of all kids, however when your child is living with ADHD those challenges can be extreme. No one said that parenting was easy… parenting a child with ADHD is not easy… and parenting a teenager with ADHD can be, well, even more challenging. We all know the lovely teen years. Our children go into the teenage phase, they turn into some unrecognizable species that have their own rules to go by.

Depending on the time of the day or some other circumstance, they display their utmost warm love. Then at a flip of a coin, they do not want anything to do with you and think of you, their parents, to be morons. They want you when it is appropriate to them and hold you responsible for ruining everything, including their lives.

We know that they will grow out of it, and that even if they don't want to completely admit, they need us. What is even more important is that you know they need you, and this can be especially true if your child is living with ADHD. Our son has ADHD, was diagnosed in the 2nd grade. Up until I gave in and believed what the specialists were saying… and seeing my baby boy almost give up, and we started him on medication, I had lost count of the number of phone calls from the principal. I had a stack of notes from the teacher. Yes we even had in school and after school suspensions. It wasn't his fault, he needed help… and once he got it, he was a changed boy. READ More on Parenting Teens with ADHD

Sue Scheff: Summer Survival Tips for Families Managing ADHD

Source: PowerMomsUnite

Striking a Balance: Summer Survival Tips for Families Managing ADHD

One major issue with ADHD and summer vacations is the bored factor. Once the novelty of having all that free-time-to-do-anything wears away, what to do with all that free time becomes a problem. On the other hand, over-scheduling and over-planning the summer can lead to burn-out and irritability for both parents and children. The art of managing ADHD during the summer is really about the art of finding balance. Several strategies can help strike this balance.

Keep a calendar: Use a monthly or weekly calendar and write down vacation, camp and community trip dates. Kids need routine to feel secure, but be sure to leave some dates empty to allow for free time to simple create and imagine in the back yard.

Prescript your day: Early in the day, sit with your child and review what they want to accomplish and what you need to accomplish. Negotiate how each of you will spend your time so as not to conflict. Explicitly state how you expect your child to behave for any important activities (like that very important conference call at 1PM) and be sure to reward them for following the “script.”

Make a summer contract: Use the summer as an opportunity to help your child explore their interests, reinforce their academic skills, and find their passions. Write out a contract with your child, in which they list their goals for the summer. Goals could include places they would like to visit, books they would like to read, cub scout activities they would like to complete, models they would like to build- the list of possibilities is endless. Include goals you and the teacher identify as well. If you have a therapist, consult them regarding activities to persue over the summer break. Activities can be focused on building a friendship with a particular friend, trying new foods with dinner, volunteering at a local soup kitchen, or learning the steps to complimenting a sibling. Set a due date and reward for completing each goal. Consider rewarding the child with a bonus for completing all their goals for the summer.

Loosen up but keep a routine: Part of the brillance of summer is the long days and lazy nights without a tight schedule to keep. The occasional later bedtime and relaxation of the rules are part of the inherent beauty of summer vacation. That being said, basic family rules, chores, and routines still need to be followed. Be mindful that a little sleep deprivation can lead to meltdowns for both parent and child any time of year. Rules about not playing on the computer all day, still need to be followed, even during the summer. Too much screen time robs kids of opportunities to build social skills and develop interests as well as leads to irritability.

Manage medicine: Some parents take a medication vacation over the summer, in an effort to allow their children to gain some weight and height. There is little evidence however, that ADHD medications permanently impact a child’s height. Kids often grow slower than their non-medicated peers, but do eventually catch-up.
Before taking a medication vacation, consider all the aspects of your child’s summer. Will you be taking a long trip, during which time your child will need to sit still? How will you all survive the trip? Will your child be in camp, where she will need to follow directions? Will ADHD behavior make it hard for her to participate in group activities or attend to social cues from new friends? Will your child have lots of unscheduled time with neighborhood kids, in which impulsive behavior could result in unsafe decisions or poor peer interactions? Before taking a medication vacation, consider all these potential situations.

ADHD is a chronic lifelong condition that needs to managed- will your child’s self-esteem, self-image, and social skill acquisition benefit from a medication vacation? Consider your goals for your child’s summer and how a medication vacation could affect your child’s success in their summer activities.

In lieu of a complete ADHD medication vacation, consider the use of shorter acting medications for the most challenging activities of your child’s summer- like a long car ride or plane trip. Shorter acting medications can cause fewer appetite- suppressing effects. Speak with your child’s physician, and collaborate with your child, as you make these decisions. Remember that as you are modeling healthy management of a condition that will likely be a lifelong journey for your child. Fuel their passions, provide opportunities to build skills, and model a healthy approach to symptom management.

Relax: Use the summer to reconnect and play. Just as your kids schedule time to do homework during the school year, schedule regular time to play with your kids every day after work. Play catch, go for a swim, bike down to the ice cream shop- do activities together to build your relationship and create a healthy self- image. Enjoy your summer together!

Sue Scheff: ADHD Alternatives

As a parent of an ADHD child, I have always been aware of the Feingold Program. Although I wasn’t able to use the diet for my son, I know many success stories and believe that parents should be aware of all alternatives.

Source: Feingold Association

What: Free seminar on dietary options for children (and adults!) with learning, behavior, and other health problems,AND a hands-on activity in which you can find out for yourself just how much food dye it takes to create those pretty colors of frosting on a cupcake.

WHEN: Thursday, June 25, 2009 7:00 pm – 8:30 pm

WHERE: Marriott SpringHill Suites Hotel 899 Elkridge Landing RoadLinthicum, Maryland (near BWI Airport)(410) 694-0555

SPONSOR: The Feingold AssociationTel: 800-321-3287 or 631-369-9340