Internet Addiction: How do you know? Is the Internet the New Drug of Choice?

When you think of drugs, most think of cocaine, marijuana, crack, ecstasy, etc...

But could social media, social networking or the Internet actually be the drug of choice?


Years ago when Facebook hit the scene no one really knew what to expect from the website.

The site was exclusive to college students and allowed them to keep in touch with their friends at different colleges… and that’s it.

Fast forward to today and social media, which has grown far beyond just Facebook with the addition of websites like Twitter and YouTube, has become an addiction that doesn’t just encompass college students, it encompasses teens, parents, and grandparents alike. Even our pets have their own Facebook pages or Twitter accounts.

Don’t believe that social media is a metaphorical type of drug? Let’s compare.

1.     It fills a self-imposed boredom:  How many times have you heard someone say, “well I just get on to [Facebook, Twitter, etc.] when I’m bored”? People spend more time being “bored” than ever before. Instead of getting out and doing something we choose to spend our time inside on a computer checking up on other people’s lives and connecting with our friends through websites. Like a drug taking up all of our free time that could be spent doing something productive, instead we opt to fill our free time with social media.

2.     It gives highs and lows:  What about when you log onto a social media website and see that you have new notifications or connections? There is that instant high that someone has reached out to you publicly on a social media site. We crave social media popularity. It’s addicting. We need the gratification and we get jealous when we see other people are more popular and depressed when no one has tagged us in anything.
 3.     It’s used as a reward:  Finish a project? Check Twitter. Write an article? Check Facebook. Check off items on a to-do list? Check blogs. We use social media as a reward for completing everyday tasks that deserve no reward, tasks that we should be doing because we are supposed to, not because it will allow us to reward ourselves with our next social media high.
 4.     It causes us to have withdrawals:  Maybe the first time you noticed was when you sat at a stoplight and had to log onto your Facebook account from your phone… just to see if anything interesting was happening. Maybe it was when you couldn’t sit through dinner without tweeting something to your followers. Maybe it was the first time you got a pang of longing to log on because you weren’t around an internet. Whatever the cause, we suffer withdrawals from not being able to check in with our social media sites, just like drug addicts long for the next time they can get high.
 5.     It’s a tough addiction to break:  As easy as it is to say that you aren’t addicted to social media as soon as you think about closing your accounts you’re probably met with that same fear that many people feel when faced with the thought of a life without it. How will you function since it’s become such an integral part of your life? Many of us have been addicted for so long that it would be incredibly difficult to make a clean break from the constant routine of checking our varying social media profiles.

Social media may not be illegal and it may not come with serious physical consequences, but it is an addiction that we are facing, and our teens are facing it in an even greater way because they’ve been inundated into the social media culture at a much earlier age than our generation of young and old adults were.

Author Coleen Torres, blogger at phone internet, Save money on home phone, digital TV, and high-speed Internet by comparing prices from providers in your area for standalone service or phone TV Internet bundles.

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Smart Teens Failing In School and Making Bad Choices

When your teen is withdrawing, what can you do?

What happened to my teen that as making straight A's always so concerned about getting their homework done on time, participated in school activities and looked forward to family gatherings?

Adolescence? Peer pressure?  Today's society? A school incident such as bullying/cyberbullying?  Teen dating abuse?
Relationship issues? Teacher problems?



Your teen that was always part of your family is now secretive, defiant, non-responsive, snaps at you, is suddenly changing her peer group or worse than that, isolating herself/himself from everyone.  What is going on?

Sometimes it could be something a parent can't detect however they do see their once flourishing child now sinking into a deep dark hole.  They are either gravitating to a negative peer group or withdrawing all together, becoming secretive and actually failing school.  Sometimes skipping classes or not attending school at all.  Do you suspect they are using drugs or drinking?

What is the next step?

Seeking local help and all local resources should always be the first step.  Once you have exhausted all these options and you still see your child is sinking deeper, it may be time to consider residential therapy.  This is a major emotional and financial decision.

This will take time and research.  The Internet will be your friend and your foe at this point.  It is important you understand the difference between Internet fact and Internet fiction. Who to trust and who is simply "selling" you a litany of programs.

For a free consultation on this daunting industry, and a free chapter of my book, Wit's End! Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out of Control Teens, visit www.helpyourteens.com.

Parent Role Models: Do You Practice What You Preach to Your Teen?

We are always telling our kids and teens what to do.


But do we practice what we preach?


As parents I know we like to think that we do no wrong, but have you ever thought about the fact that kids learn by example?  How many times a day would you say that you get after your kids about something?  Where are they learning those behaviors?  I know we’d like to think that they get it from their friends, but I think if you really thought about it that you might find that they are getting their bad examples from you.
Check out 10 situations where adults often model bad behaviors to kids.

1. Texting while driving: I know I’m guilty of this.  I think that I only read a text while I’m driving, but I write back when I’m stopped at the stoplight.  Do you think the kids know the difference?  The slight nuance of only texting while you are stopped?  Or do they just see your cell phone in your hand?  If we want our kids to be safe when they become drivers we have to model responsible texting behaviors now.
2. Road rage: Unfortunately I am very guilty of this one.  I’m always yelling at drivers when they do things that irritate me.  I try not to use profanity when the kids are in the car with me, but I know they are listening because I’ve heard my then six year old telling the driver of the car in front of me to get out of our way because we’re in a hurry.  At the time I think I told her that only the driver gets to do that.  But I was thinking that I was not setting a very good example for my kids.
3. Playing a game: How many times have you gotten upset when you were playing a game as a family?  This can range from calling each other punk when they play the third draw card in a row while playing Uno to refusing to play the game anymore because you lost.  I’ve seen both of these and many more.  It’s important to remember that it’s just a game and it doesn’t really matter.  If your kids see you losing your cool over a simple card game then how can we get upset with them when they do the same thing at school or with their friends?
4. Kids Sporting Event: Parents can get so riled up over a what they perceive to be a bad call at a soccer game, football game, insert sport here game that it’s unreal.  We were at a soccer tournament with my 10 year old son.  The parents of the other team got so upset at the officials that the off-duty police officers had to come and escort them to their next game.  They were yelling at our parents as well and it was all we could do to get all of our parents out of there before it came to blows.  The kids saw this happen and we wonder why you see poor sportsmanship on the field.
5. Waiting in line: Some people are very time intolerant.  They would rather do almost anything other than stand in a long line.  It’s not my favorite way to spend my time either, but it doesn’t bother me.  What kind of behavior are you modeling for your kids when you keep complaining that the line is too long and this is all a big waste of time etc.?  You need to act like you would want them to act.
6. Eating out: I think we’d all like to think we are raising kids who treat everyone fairly and courteously.  But what kind of example are you setting when you get upset with the waitress for messing up your order?  I’ve seen people get really angry with wait staff if their food is taking too long or if their order is wrong.  First of all, keep in mind that your children are watching you verbally abuse this stranger over food.  Secondly, keep in mind that that person that you are yelling at did not make the food.  They just brought it out to you.  And even if they put the order in wrong, I don’t think any of us can say that we’ve never made a mistake.
7. Smoking: Every time an adult picks up a cigarette they are modeling bad behavior.  Cigarettes are poison and very unhealthy.  Again, kids learn by example so if you smoke what makes you think that they won’t start that bad habit too?
8. Drinking excessively: Many times adults will over indulge at home or at a party.  Their kids see them acting in a weird way.  Kids have no idea why mommy or daddy is acting this way.  This can be very scary for kids and it doesn’t send a great message to the kids.  It gives them the idea that to have a good time you need to drink large amounts of alcohol.
9. Yelling: We don’t want our children to yell at their teacher or us do we?  I’m pretty sure we don’t even want them to yell at each other.  When we yell at our children we are modeling bad behavior.  Again, kids learn by example.
10. Hitting: It never ceases to amaze me that parents are surprised that their kids hit other kids at the park.  “I just don’t know why Johnny just hit your daughter?  He’s never been a hitter.”  No, but I’m sure that Johnny has been swatted a time a two since the first thing this mom did was smack him on the butt for hitting my child.  I wonder where he got the idea that hitting was the thing to do.

Source:  Nanny Classifieds

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10 Ways Technology Makes Bullying and Cyberbullying Worse

When we were growing up there were bullies.  Nobody liked to be bullied, but it was a fact of life that you had to deal with kids that weren’t very nice.  Now, schools are so anti-bullying that anything that even slightly seems like bullying is taken very seriously.  At least when we were growing up they didn’t have Facebook to upload embarrassing videos to that would ruin a person’s life.

Check out 10 ways technology makes bullying worse.

1. Facebook: Embarrassing pictures and videos can be uploaded to Facebook in a matter of a few seconds and ruin someone’s life forever.  Kids do not understand the damage that something like that can do to a person.  People have actually committed suicide because of events like these.
2. Cell phones: Growing up we did not have cell phones.  Kids these days have the ability to take pictures at a moment’s notice and sometimes not in the most appropriate places.  Nude pictures of students in the shower or in the locker room have also caused suicides.
3. Texting: Kids can bully by texting now.  They can text everyone else at the same time something bad or embarrassing about someone else.  They can also send pictures over their phone to everyone on their contact list.  Bullying like this can make someone’s life miserable.
4. Flip cameras: These cameras are used to shoot quick videos at close range and can be uploaded to the Internet.  Kids that want to bully just have to take embarrassing videos of a student and share them with everyone.  Or a video can be sent to a parent as well that would get them grounded or in trouble.
5. You Tube: A lot of good things have happened to people by posting a video on You Tube, but a lot of bad stuff has happened too.  People love to be the first one to dish the dirt on someone else.  They witness a fight they grab their cell phone and upload it to You Tube.  Or they set someone up and post what they think is a funny video to You Tube, but it’s actually very embarrassing.  People don’t think they are bullying when they do this stuff, but they really are.
6. Gaming systems: Many online gaming systems allow conversations between the players.  Teens have reported that someone pretending to be them said mean things or embarrassing things to another person.  This kind of bullying is hard to stop and hard to track.  It does however cause a lot of problems for today’s teens.
7. Blogs: There are teens that create blogs that post the latest gossip about people and will say nasty things about people.  Teens feel that they are anonymous and that no one can tell who is doing the bullying, but there are ways to track down who’s doing it and there are some big consequences.  If the bullying leads to a suicide the teen who is behind the bullying can be brought up on charges and sent to jail.  Lesser sentences are losing privileges to use a computer for 2 years.  Try doing your homework without a computer these days.
8. Chat sites: Other sites online have chat rooms where teens can go and chat with their friends online.  People can go into these chat rooms and make up a user name and start saying bad things about kids in that chat room.  Many times there is a chat room that the students frequent because all their friends go there so when someone bullies in a chat room a lot of that kid’s peer group could be reading it.
9. E-mail: Bullies steal identities and will sign into an e-mail account and send damaging e-mails pretending to be that teen.  Inappropriate messages to a female teacher or a nasty message to the principal are all things that can really get that child in trouble and they didn’t do anything.  Remind your child to keep passwords absolutely private.
10. Instant messaging: Bullies will try to send nasty instant messages threatening to do something to a teen when they see them next.  Or tell them that they are going to make sure that they don’t get something they want at school like a part in the play or a solo in choir.  Bullying can take many forms even if it’s just telling someone that they did a terrible job on their audition or they overheard someone important say that they did a terrible job.  Anything like that is going to put undue stress on that child.  Make sure that your child is aware and being safe.

Source:  Full Time Nanny

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Teen Self-Esteem: Moms, Daughters - Teen Girl's Survival Guide

Being a mother of a daughter I know firsthand that raising a teenage girl can be a challenge.  Though my daughter’s teen years are a decade behind me, I listen to parents today and I sympathize with the extra burdens they have to endure with the added pressures of technology.  It is not easy.  The one common denominator that doesn’t change is most girls always feel they are never pretty enough, thin enough or fit in. 

This needs to stop.  Where does all this low self-worth stem from?  As a parent,  many of use always try to build out kids up – however peer pressure can be so strong.

Here is a fantastic guest post that I think parents will benefit from:

Just Mom and Me: A Teen Girl’s Survival Guide
Mom and daughter relationships are very complicated and multifaceted. Some of them are the best of pals and communicate with each other regularly. Some are forever in the combatant phase. There are some who even steer clear of any kind of clash. But it can be stated without an iota of doubt that there is a whiff of all these traits in almost all relationships.

The million dollar question here is for the mommies, “how to raise your darling daughters into influential girls who are self-confident?” they become adept at making constructive choices regarding their own lives and execute productive actions for others. In spite of being normal girls with their little insecurities, they have a strong will and feel all right about themselves. You should know that these girls will mature sensibly and lead a worthwhile and satiated life.

Acknowledge your family’s most valued ideals
It is very essential to mull over your family ethics and contemplate upon the means by which you will put across these values. Be sure to include suitable examples to corroborate your message in the most appropriate manner. For this you have to constantly keep a check on instances in your daily life to exemplify these ideals you want your daughter to imbibe.

Persuade your daughter to resolve her own issues before settling it yourself
You have to coach your daughter to make her own decisions. She has to be independent and develop her own aptitude to deal with situations. Tell her to deliberate upon more than two approaches to deal with the circumstances and then inquire about likely consequences. You should convince her to make her own decisions for the very dilemma. It is okay even if you do not see things the same way; at least now your daughter has a feeling of control over her life.

Do not let her accomplish by magnitude, creates trouble
Try to make your daughter toil and excel at one thing at a time. Do not become hasty in trying to make them into little mechanical multi-taskers. Yes, this is an extremely competitive world and the motto of survival of the fittest is “the thing” to follow. But give your daughter some space and let her follow her own interests. You are there to guide her of course. Do not register her in infinite activities like dramatics, soccer, art, music etc. the belief that self worth is acquired by who you are and not what you achieve.

Make your daughter work together with other girls
If your daughter works jointly with other a girl of her school and solves her predicaments together, she will excel later in taking big risks and tackle many trials and tribulations in life. Working together makes them have an unbelievable sense of achievement and feeling of proficiency. All this is good for your daughter and good for you in the long run. So the bottom-line is inspire your daughter to take part in team-building activities where everyone works cooperatively to provide solutions to their problems.

Let your daughter be aware of the fact that you love her because of who she is
Do not be over fixated about everything your daughter does. She needs her own space just like you do as a mother. Keep encouraging her to have good habits but never obsess about it too much. It is alright if she takes her own time, everything does not happen overnight. But, show a positive reception for her individuality. Do not keep cribbing about her weight or her looks as she first needs to recognize her inner self. You need to deflate the thought that beauty is just about your appearance. Over obsession about the physical appearance will definitely lead to a lot of insecurities in your daughter’s life.

So, remember this rearing a girl up can be very thrilling and stimulating. Both of you can work it out together and enjoy so many things together. Maintain this bond even when she grows older. She will appreciate it for sure and you will always cherish it forever.

About the author: Alia Haley is a blogger and writer. She loves writing on topics related to wedding, health and luxury. Beside this she is fond of bags. She recently shared an article on designer baby clothes. These days she is busy in writing an article on Teeth whitening kits.

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Cross Creek, Horizon Academy, Red River Academy, Teen Help or Not?

What, are you second guessing yourself?  Were you desperate - about to make a quick decision?  Suddenly decided let me make one more Internet search.... Yes, it can be that last search that leads you to what you need to know... Remember, you are investing in your child's future - not just buying a car here.


So, your teen is driving your crazy.  You are at your wit’s end. You have finally decided you need outside help. You have exhausted all your local resources.  Local therapy doesn’t help, heck, you can’t even get your teen to attend.  Your teen is failing in school, he/she is very smart yet doesn’t want to attend school and believe they know it all.  Many say, “typical teen“, but as a parent, we know it is more than that.
Where did our good kid go?  Good kids making bad choices – and they don’t need to be placed in an environment that will make them worse in my opinion – learn from what happened to me!

As a victim of the WWASPS organization – I am often called or receive many emails about our (my daughter and I) experiences with them.  Obviously not pleasant.  Though I am happy to say the program she was at, Carolina Springs Academy, which attempted to go through a name change to Magnolia Christian Academy (or School) depending on the day you Googled it, is finally closed – it has been rumored some of the staff is now at their affiliate program – Red River Academy.  Maybe some at Cross Cross in Utah – or even Horizon Academy both in Southern Utah and Nevada.

Let me be clear for legal purposes – these are rumors – but if I were placing my child in program, I personally wouldn’t take any chances – and furthermore, Red River Academy and Cross Creek are clearly named in the current lawsuit which is extremely disturbing with allegations of fraud, abuse, neglect and much more – (click here) that is current.

Then we come to Horizon Academy.  Another alleged WWASPS facility.  Why say alleged?  Maybe they will deny they are affiliated – yet look at their staff, again, you will see they were once employed at other WWASPS programs.  Jade Robinson was at the program in Mexico (named in that lawsuit with alleged abuse and neglect) Casa By the Sea, then went on to Bell Academy, which didn’t last long, and I assume is trying to continue at Horizon Academy.

So when the “sales rep” tells you that “Sue Scheff” is a disgruntled parent – I say – YES, I was – you put my daughter in a box for 17 hours, she was mentally and emotionally abused – food and sleep deprived – I was complete defrauded – and she also missed out on 6 months of education.  None of which I had signed up for.  Grant it, this was 10 years ago – a lot has changed – but those original owners haven’t – so in my humble opinion – I wouldn’t trust any of their programs with my pets….. BTW: I am the only parent to have defeated WWASPS in a jury trial.  

Most of the other (many) lawsuits have settled out of court with silence agreements.  I don’t have one, which is why I can still share my story – which is why I get slimed online – which is why their sales reps have all sorts of stories about me – including “the jury made a mistake” – neglecting to tell you I won the appellate court too.  No one condones child abuse – period.

I have been called a crusader (and not in a flattering way) though I take it that way.  I have made it my mission to find the better programs and schools, since I do know what it is like to be at your wit’s end.  I know what parents need help. I am not against residential therapy, which brings us to many  of my stalkers that were formally abused in programs that believe all programs should be closed down.  That is being extreme – they are not a parent trying to save their child’s life and future.

I will share with you that there are more safe and quality programs than there are bad ones – it is just about doing your homework and research.  Today you are more fortunate than I was – you have more access to information and you can learn from my mistakes and  my knowledge.

Please – take another 10 minutes to read my story and see the list of programs that are and were once affiliated with Carolina Springs Academy – and from there, you make your own choices for your child.
I had one parent that almost went to Red River Academy that actually said the sales rep said they could have their teen “extracted” within a few hours?  Extracted?  Really – is your child a tooth?  Please don’t get rushed into a quick decision – this is a major emotional and financial decision.

My organization is Parents’ Universal Resource Experts – and no matter what those “sales reps” or the Internet fiction – I don’t own, operate or manage any schools or programs!  We are about educating parents when they are looking for help for their at risk teen…. Don’t get scammed when you are at your wit’s end.
Oh – and when these “sales reps” send out these defamatory links about me – another FACT they neglect to tell you is I won the landmark case for Internet Defamation that awarded me $11.3M in damages for what was said about me online!  Lies and twisted facts!  Here is my recent appearance on Anderson Cooper.

This is strictly my opinion on my own experiences – you are free to make your choices…

Teen Jobs: 5 Reasons Teens Should Get a Job

Today more and more teens have a sense of entitlement.

With shows like “My Super Sweet 16” that glorify teens have extravagant lives and demanding over the top birthday parties we’ve become inundated with the idea that our teens need to be pampered and spoiled beyond reason. This mindset has led to teens believing that they deserve the most expensive clothes, cars, and cell phones, and that these things should just be handed to them on demand. The reality of it, though, is that our teenagers should be learning the importance of working hard for what they want, and one way to impart this lesson and have them reap the benefits of it is by having them work a part-time job. There are numerous lessons and values teens will learn from working:

1.     Time management:  Having to balance school and work will teach teens early on the importance of prioritizing responsibilities and managing their time. The sooner they learn how to do this the better off they’ll be when they leave for college and eventually branch out into the real world of full-time jobs and responsibilities.
2.     Help build a resume:  Being able to list work experience on a resume will help your teen get ahead of the crowd when it comes time to apply for college or find a full-time job. It will show prospective colleges and employers that your teen is a motivated, hard-working individual and will set them above the people who have no prior work experience.
3.     Financial independence:  There’s a certain satisfaction that is brought about by being able to buy something you want with your own hard-earned money, and having a job that brings in a paycheck will allow teens to learn how to effectively manage their money and rely on themselves and not their parents for different purchases. Learning to manage money is a life skill that everyone needs to have, so learning it early on will only benefit your teenager.
4.     Develop indispensable life skills:  Your teen will learn very quickly the importance of working as a team and having solid communication skills, two talents that are transferrable into almost any industry or experience. The experiences that they have, both good and bad, from a part-time job will help them to become better-rounded as an individual.
5.     Learn the value of hard work:  Unfortunately hard work is becoming more under-valued these days, especially with teens, and it’s important to teach our kids that hard work is a trait to be admired and respected. Learning to work for what you want is an advantageous tool to have.
While your teens may complain about having to get a job initially, it’s likely that they’ll end up thanking you for it in the long run. The lessons they’ll learn from having to work a part-time job are irreplaceable.

Author Bio
Heather Smith is an ex-nanny. Passionate about thought leadership and writing, Heather regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and parenting blogs/websites. She also provides value to nanny service by giving advice on site design as well as the features and functionality to provide more and more value to nannies and families across the U.S. and Canada. She can be available at H.smith7295 [at] gmail.com.

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Tough love is not an option: It is a choice to get your teen help!

Many cannot understand or grasp the concept of, Tough love or "not enabling" the child to ruin or run the family unit. Enduring life with a teen that is running the home can result in many uproars, conflicts, arguments, battles, and sometimes psychical and verbal abuse.  Tough love is exactly that: Tough.  Loving our children is unconditional, but we don't have to like what they are doing or how they are destroying their lives.

There will come a time when a parent realizes enough is enough! This is the time that they need the support from outside sources, such as a Tough Love support groups (if you can find them and if you believe in their philosophy), along with professional intervention. This does not reflect you as a parent, nor does it place blame on the family, it is the child that is making the bad choices and the family is suffering from it. 

Many times tough love is simply letting go. Let the child make their mistakes and they will either learn from them or suffer the consequences. Unfortunately depending on the situation, it is not always feasible to wait until the last minute to intervene.  If you see that Tough love is not working at home, it may be time to consider residential placement (placement outside the home). 

Quality Residential placements work with the entire family. Once the child is safely removed from the family, everyone is able to concentrate on the issues calmly and rationally. Tough love can mean finding the most appropriate setting outside of the home for your child.

While in the whirlwind of confusion, frustration and stress that the child is causing, it is hard to see the actual problem or problems. With time and distance, the healing starts to occur. Tough love is a very painful and stressful avenue, however in many families, very necessary and very rewarding.  

Tough love if used correctly can be helpful.  However if you are the type to give in at the end, all the hard work of standing your ground will be for nothing.  Actually, your weakness or giving in could result in deeper and more serious problems.  Please confer with professionals or outside help if you feel you are not able to follow through with what you are telling your child you will do.  

Don't be ashamed to ask for help, you are certainly not alone.

Learn more about quality residential therapy at www.helpyourteens.com. 

As far as Tough Love Support Groups, I am not familiar with any groups that are still operating today.  Years ago it there an organization by that name, however I understand they disbanded. Personally I was never a fan of them - since I know that many parents could never just abandon a child.  I understand the concept - and I do know that loving our child to death is not an option, but there are choices out there, and residential therapy is one of them.  If your child is a young adult, it is a different scenario and again, there are ways to handle it.