So, your teen is driving your crazy. You are at your wit's end. You have finally decided you need outside help. You have exhausted all your local resources. Local therapy doesn't help, heck, you can't even get your teen to attend. Your teen is failing in school, he/she is very smart yet doesn't want to attend school and believe they know it all. Many say, "typical teen", but as a parent, we know it is more than that.
Where did our good kid go? Good kids making bad choices - and they don't need to be placed in an environment that will make them worse in my opinion - learn from what happened to me!
As a victim of the WWASPS organization - I am often called or receive many emails about our (my daughter and I) experiences with them. Obviously not pleasant. Though I am happy to say the program she was at, Carolina Springs Academy, which attempted to go through a name change to Magnolia Christian Academy (or School) depending on the day you Googled it, is finally closed - it has been rumored some of the staff is now at their affiliate program - Red River Academy or Horizon Academy.
Let me be clear for legal purposes - these are rumors - but if I were placing my child in program, I personally wouldn't take any chances - and furthermore, Red River Academy is clearly named in the current lawsuit which is extremely disturbing with allegations of fraud, abuse, neglect and much more - (click here) that is current.
So when the "sales rep" tells you that "Sue Scheff" is a disgruntled parent - I say - YES, I was - you put my daughter in a box for 17 hours, she was mentally and emotionally abused - food and sleep deprived - I was complete defrauded - and she also missed out on 6 months of education. None of which I had signed up for. Grant it, this was 10 years ago - a lot has changed - but those original owners haven't - so in my humble opinion - I wouldn't trust any of their programs with my pets..... BTW: I am the only parent to have defeated WWASPS in a jury trial. Most of the other (many) lawsuits have settled out of court with silence agreements. I don't have one, which is why I can still share my story - which is why I get slimed online - which is why their sales reps have all sorts of stories about me - including "the jury made a mistake" - neglecting to tell you I won the appellate court too. No one condones child abuse - period.
I have been called a crusader (and not in a flattering way) though I take it that way. I have made it my mission to find the better programs and schools, since I do know what it is like to be at your wit's end. I know what parents need help. I am not against residential therapy, which brings us to many of my stalkers that were formally abused in programs that believe all programs should be closed down. That is being extreme - they are not a parent trying to save their child's life and future.
I will share with you that there are more safe and quality programs than there are bad ones - it is just about doing your homework and research. Today you are more fortunate than I was - you have more access to information and you can learn from my mistakes and my knowledge.
Please - take 10 minutes to read my story and see the list of programs that are and were once affiliated with Carolina Springs Academy - and from there, you make your own choices for your child.
I had one parent that almost went to Red River Academy that actually said the sales rep said they could have their teen "extracted" within a few hours? Extracted? Really - is your child a tooth? Please don't get rushed into a quick decision - this is a major emotional and financial decision.
My organization is Parents' Universal Resource Experts - and no matter what those "sales reps" or the Internet fiction - I don't own, operate or manage any schools or programs! We are about educating parents when they are looking for help for their at risk teen.... Don't get scammed when you are at your wit's end.
Oh – and when these “sales reps” send out these defamatory links about me – another FACT they neglect to tell you is I won the landmark case for Internet Defamation that awarded me $11.3M in damages for what was said about me online! Lies and twisted facts! Here is my recent appearance on Anderson Cooper.
This is strictly my opinion on my own experiences - you are free to make your choices....
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Sexting, texting and your teens
Online safety of teens and kids of all ages is a priority as well as cell phone safety. This brings us to a very hot topic which a guest writer has asked me to post his recent article to help parents understand how important it is to understand what sexting is and how they can take steps to help keep their children safe virtually.
Sexting has become a recent trend with mobile users, as nearly 40% of teens reporting sexting at least once or consistently. Sexting is when one person sends a nude, or sexually suggestive picture/text of themselves to another person or a group. The consequences of sexting range from nothing, to serious. For parents, the worries are real and dangerous.
Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, and other social media sites are like online directories for everyone and anyone. It can be easy anyone to assume a false identity. With a couple clicks on the phone, a picture gets into the hands of the wrong person.
The ramifications for of this are undocumented in terms of sexting, but the potential psychological issues of self-esteem are wide and concerning. Adolescents and teens are entering a stage of life where body-image and self-esteem are developing. Bullying, harassment, and derogatory comments can degrade and damage morale. The effects of this can last for years or decades.
By sexting, teens put their bodies out there to be judged and critiqued. While their bodies may be healthy, teens use any chances to tease or insult another, especially if it means a chance to elevate themselves in a social clique, or in popularity. The self-esteem issues created by pictures, or suggestive language, being misconstrued, getting into unwanted hands or from unwarranted comments, can devastate teens and lead to suicide.
The first is establishing a good relationship. Studies consistently show that parents who foster good relationships with their children have more influence on them than the media or peer pressure.
A strong relationship makes it easier for parents to approach kids about sexting and its consequences. Being honest with children about the potential legal consequences, psychological factors, and personal ethics and morals behind sexting is a good way to help them understand its seriousness.
To instill that seriousness, parents should monitor their child’s activities and friends. Much of sexting in teenagers is caused by peer pressure or social interactions. Supporting them in making the right decisions, and spending less time from those who are sexting, may be the best way to keep them safe.
Special contributor: Steven Farrell is the administrator of ReversePhoneLookup.org, the best reverse phone directory online.
Sexting has become a recent trend with mobile users, as nearly 40% of teens reporting sexting at least once or consistently. Sexting is when one person sends a nude, or sexually suggestive picture/text of themselves to another person or a group. The consequences of sexting range from nothing, to serious. For parents, the worries are real and dangerous.
Child Pornography
The primary concern for parents is sexting that involves suggestive photos, especially nudes. Several teens have been charged with ownership of child pornography. That’s because even if two students under age 18 are dating, possession of nude photos of individuals under the age of 18 constitutes child pornography. In some cases, teens who have snapped pictures of themselves have been charged with “manufacturing, disseminating or possessing child pornography.” Those receiving the pictures have faced, and been sentenced, to charges of possession. Convictions lead to life-long registration on sexual offender lists.Digital World
Once the pictures have been taken, parents have more issues to worry about, namely digital records. After pictures have been taken digitally, they immediately enter a digital world where they can become permanent. One person can send the picture to another and so on until it’s been shared across the digital world. It can all start with one phone. With chat rooms and other websites, it’s easy for pedophiles and other predators to misrepresent age, sex, and location. Teens and kids are constantly connected to the web. Not only can those pictures make their way to illegal websites, they can also make their way to strangers.Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, and other social media sites are like online directories for everyone and anyone. It can be easy anyone to assume a false identity. With a couple clicks on the phone, a picture gets into the hands of the wrong person.
Psychological Factors
There are many reasons why teens take part in sexting and most of them are a new take on the old world of flirting and courting. Many teens send the texts as flirtatious messages, to boost popularity, or because of peer pressure. They can also include forms of sexual harassment, or bullying.The ramifications for of this are undocumented in terms of sexting, but the potential psychological issues of self-esteem are wide and concerning. Adolescents and teens are entering a stage of life where body-image and self-esteem are developing. Bullying, harassment, and derogatory comments can degrade and damage morale. The effects of this can last for years or decades.
By sexting, teens put their bodies out there to be judged and critiqued. While their bodies may be healthy, teens use any chances to tease or insult another, especially if it means a chance to elevate themselves in a social clique, or in popularity. The self-esteem issues created by pictures, or suggestive language, being misconstrued, getting into unwanted hands or from unwarranted comments, can devastate teens and lead to suicide.
Cautionary Steps
Beyond eliminating and forbidding the use of all digital devices, there are other measures that parents can take to protect their teens.The first is establishing a good relationship. Studies consistently show that parents who foster good relationships with their children have more influence on them than the media or peer pressure.
A strong relationship makes it easier for parents to approach kids about sexting and its consequences. Being honest with children about the potential legal consequences, psychological factors, and personal ethics and morals behind sexting is a good way to help them understand its seriousness.
To instill that seriousness, parents should monitor their child’s activities and friends. Much of sexting in teenagers is caused by peer pressure or social interactions. Supporting them in making the right decisions, and spending less time from those who are sexting, may be the best way to keep them safe.
Special contributor: Steven Farrell is the administrator of ReversePhoneLookup.org, the best reverse phone directory online.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Troubled Teens: Finding Help You Can Trust
Especially during the holiday season, this can be one of the hardest decisions a parent can make.
Sending a child to a residential program/school is a major decision. It is not one to be taken lightly or to be decided on overnight.
Usually a teen's behavior has been slowly escalating and a parent knows that deep down things are not getting better. As much as you hope and pray that things will change, this is only typical teen behavior, sometimes it just isn't.
With drug use and substance abuse rising - more dangerous and deadly ingredients being used, such as spice and inhalants, parents have reason to be concerned. It isn't your marijuana of generations prior - it is so much worse and in many cases - addictive and deadly.
If you have reached your wit's end and now surfing the Internet for help, remember, anyone can build a website. Anyone can put up nice pictures and create great content. You need to do your due diligence.
Years ago I struggled with my own teenager. I was at my wit's end. I didn't realize what a big business this "teen help industry" was. Yes, my child needed help, but what we received was anything but that. My story is a cautionary tale - not one to scare you into not using a program, however on the contrary, you have to get your child help, but you have to do your research in getting them the right help.
Here are some quick tips:
Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today's teenagers.
Sending a child to a residential program/school is a major decision. It is not one to be taken lightly or to be decided on overnight.
Usually a teen's behavior has been slowly escalating and a parent knows that deep down things are not getting better. As much as you hope and pray that things will change, this is only typical teen behavior, sometimes it just isn't.
With drug use and substance abuse rising - more dangerous and deadly ingredients being used, such as spice and inhalants, parents have reason to be concerned. It isn't your marijuana of generations prior - it is so much worse and in many cases - addictive and deadly.
If you have reached your wit's end and now surfing the Internet for help, remember, anyone can build a website. Anyone can put up nice pictures and create great content. You need to do your due diligence.
Years ago I struggled with my own teenager. I was at my wit's end. I didn't realize what a big business this "teen help industry" was. Yes, my child needed help, but what we received was anything but that. My story is a cautionary tale - not one to scare you into not using a program, however on the contrary, you have to get your child help, but you have to do your research in getting them the right help.
Here are some quick tips:
- Your child is not for sale, try to avoid those marketing arms selling you a list of programs that are not in the best interest of your child's individual needs.
- Always speak with an owner or director - Someone that has a vested in your teen's recovery. Their reputation is on the line.
- Wilderness and other short term programs are usually nothing more than a band-aid that will fall off as quickly as the program lasted. They are expensive camping trips and in most cases the Wilderness program will tell you at about 4 weeks that your teen will need to continue on to a longer term program. What? Yes, now you go back to the research board and worse than that, your teen will be deflated when he finds out he/she isn't coming home in 6-9 weeks as they were lead to believe - and they will be starting all over again with a new therapist - new schedule - and new setting. Don't get caught up in this "shuffle." Start and finish with the same school/program.
- The average stay should be about 6-9-12 months, depending on your teen. Anything less is probably non-effective. Anything more, you may be creating abandonment issues in my opinion.
- Do you really need an Educational Consultant? Absolutely not. You are the parent and no one knows your teen better than you do - with a few tips, you will be able to make some sound choices.
Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today's teenagers.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Teen Runaways - A parents nightmare
Holidays can be a time of joy and a time of turbulence in some households. Is your teen starting to become withdrawn? Hanging with a different group of friends? Do you suspect he/she is using drugs or drinking?
Are they leaving your home and not coming home? Do they think they know it all?
Unfortunately some parents experience this type of teen behavior and it can escalate during the holidays when they have more free time.
The authorities all but tell you (or they do tell you) “typical teen” they will show up eventually. In the meantime you are a nervous wreck.
What do you do? Here are some quick tips for you:
Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today’s teenagers.
Are they leaving your home and not coming home? Do they think they know it all?
Unfortunately some parents experience this type of teen behavior and it can escalate during the holidays when they have more free time.
The authorities all but tell you (or they do tell you) “typical teen” they will show up eventually. In the meantime you are a nervous wreck.
What do you do? Here are some quick tips for you:
- Keep an updated phone list with the home and cell numbers of your teen’s friends. Using the phone list, call every one of your teen’s friends. Talk immediately with their parents, not their friends, as teenagers will often stick together and lie for each other. The parent will tell you anything they know, including the last time contact was made between their child and yours. They will also know to keep closer tabs on their own child.
- Keep an updated photo of your child on hands at all times. With this photo, create one-page flyers including all information about your teen and where they were last seen. Post these flyers everywhere your teen hangs out, as well as anywhere else teenagers in general hang out. Post anywhere they will allow you to.
- Immediately contact your local police. It is advised that you actually visit the office with a copy of the flyer as well as a good number of color photos of your teen. Speak clearly and act rationally, but make sure that they understand how serious the situation is.
- Contact the local paper in order to run a missing ad. Also, contact any other printed media available in your area; many will be very willing to help.
- Contact your local television stations, as well as those in nearby counties. Most stations will be more than happy to run an alert either in the newscast or through the scrolling alert at the bottom of the screen.
Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today’s teenagers.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)