Texting vs Talking: Will Your Teen Be Able to Interview?

Texting is how the majority of teens communicate.

But how will they survive in a college interview?

In a face to face job interview?

Some universities no longer include public speaking on their list of required core courses, but the current rate of teen texting may require further training in face-to-face communication skills.

According to a 2011 survey conducted by the Pew Research Center on teens, smartphones and texting, 77% of 12 to 17-year-olds have a cell phone, with 23% of them owning a smartphone. The bulk of ownership was concentrated among the older crowd (14-17 years old), and the choice of communication for all age groups was texting.

Only 39% of teens surveyed say they actually use their cell phone to make phone calls. Even more disturbing, only 35% say they speak to their friends face to face outside of school. While we know that kids haven’t stopped communicating with one another (75% of all teens who own a cell phone text on a regular basis), texting as a primary form of communication may be a cause for concern.)

Besides the safety issues related to texting while driving (26% of teens say they text while driving), texting as a means of communication can also spell trouble for basic speaking skills. Inherently, texting was meant to be a short, quick way to send information to someone.

For example, the location, date and time of a meeting or the phone number of a client, but when the younger crowd gained possession of cell phones, texting became a replacement for the good old-fashioned phone call.

There are some benefits of having a conversation via text; you can think about what you want to say before texting, and you can send information to multiple friends at once. However, there are negative things about texting, too. For example, if your conversation is extensive, it will take longer through texting than through a phone call.

Also, texting over your limit can cost you hundreds of dollars in extra charges. But the main problem with teens choosing texting as their primary form of communication is the lack in proper grammar, spelling and word usage.

Not that language use among average American teens has ever been at proficient levels, but the current use of texting certainly can’t be helping the situation. Most teenagers have always been a little shaky when it comes to proper salutations and professional face-to-face dialogue, but texting is the metaphorical end of the rope when it comes to spelling and choice of words.

In fact, if we could get a manuscript of an average teen’s text conversation, it would more than likely mostly contain the abbreviation LOL and the words OK, cool and like…and not much else. In addition to spelling and grammar issues, texting could also be weakening the average person’s ability to “think fast,” because it allows you to respond slowly.

It’s not that today’s teens are less intelligent than those who came before them, but they certainly aren’t practicing their language skills on a regular basis. If America is to become a more adept society, parents must start teaching the importance of proper verbal and written communication. After all, you can’t conduct a job interview or present a business proposal via text. We owe it to our children to demand a little less texting and a lot more talking.

This is a guest post by education writer Barbara Jolie. Barbara is passionate about education and studying online. When not writing and thinking about all things education, Barbara is busy planning her next vacation and caring for her pet cat and bird. You can reach her at barbara.jolie876@gmail.com.

Online Predators: Is Your Tween or Teen Safe?

There’s one thing that all tweens have in common: They try to act like grownups. That means that they want to go to sleepovers, talk to their friends on the phone, and stay out as long as they can get away with. Another way they attempt to mirror adult behavior is to chat with people using social media.

But here’s the problem: The people that your pre-teen son or daughter may be chatting with may not be one of his or her peers at all. It could actually be an adult posing as a kid online. These individuals may be sitting at home, in their cars, or in cubicles alone somewhere. Sadly, some of these grownups are sexual predators.
It’s natural for a parent to want to protect their children from dangers in cyberspace by banning them from using computers or social media. But kids (especially tweens) will probably find a way to engage in that activity anyway. So the best strategy is to teach them about the hazards of the Internet – so they can have the tools to navigate the Web safely.

The first step for parents is to sit down with their tweens and educate them about what can happen if they aren’t careful. Tell the youngsters that they shouldn’t chat with anyone online that they don’t know in real life. That’s because many people pretend to be someone else while in a chat room (even their profile photo may be a fake). To prevent unwanted conversation, teens should only enter chat rooms that are private and populated by their friends and peers – and should always log off before leaving the website.

Furthermore, parents should spell out for their tweens what types of information should remain private. This includes their home address, phone numbers, and social security number. Criminals can use this information against the tweens and their families, so it should never be given out over the Web – especially in a chat room.

It’s also important for parents to train their tween to look for warning signs of inappropriate activity. This includes overly personal or even obscene language, an offer of expensive gifts, or a request to meet in person. It’s not a bad idea to tell the tween to trust his or her gut; if something feels a little off, then it probably isn’t what it appears to be.

Finally, if this inappropriate chatting occurs when the parent is at home, the tween should leave the screen open and go get the parent immediately. Then the parent should contact the police and give them as much information as possible about the suspicious behavior, chat room participant, or messages.
Statistically speaking, the chances of any given child being victimized by a sexual predator are quite low. But online chat rooms are still a common tactic used by these deviants to lure unsuspecting tweens into their clutches. Protecting your tweens against these monsters requires vigilance and education on your part.

Contributor:  Chris Martin is a freelance writer who writes for numerous websites and is also a ghostwriter for several blogs. In addition, he is an accomplished voice actor and an experienced sportscaster. Martin has also worked as a radio DJ, a traffic reporter, and a public address announcer for sporting events.

Teen Dating: Establishing Healthy Relationships in the Technology Age

When your teen starts dating it can be a time of added stress.

Now this part of life is compounded with the use of the digital world.


Skout, a mobile flirting application that uses GPS technology has been linked to three instances of sexual assault in recent weeks. In response, the under-18 portion of the community has been shut down as its organizers work to develop better safeguards.

The mobile dating site, which was originally created for adults, uses GPS technology that allows users to see nearby singles. In a safety precaution, the app does not reveal street addresses.

However, if you were at your neighborhood grocery store, you would be able to check your phone to see if another single was in the area, check the profile and then send an IM or text if you were interested in meeting that person.

In the teen version of Skout, the app pinpointed other users’ locations within a half-mile radius, and though it was supposed to be a safeguard, it proved to be the perfect tool for predators to scout their victims. In all three instances, adults took advantage of underage teens; but GPS is also a tool that can be used in teenaged dating abuse.

A technologically savvy teen can use GPS to monitor a dating partner, either through cell phones or other devices. Often, GPS isn’t needed to monitor a teenager’s location.
With the ability to update a Facebook status, Tweet or even “Check-in” via Facebook, teenagers are revealing their locations all the time.

In the past, teen dating abuse was more easily identified. Ten years ago, when landlines were the norm and phone bills had limited minutes, abusive behavior like excessive phone calls would have been easy to identify. Today, teens can put their cell phones on silent and receive unlimited texts, masking abusive behavior from parents.

"I call it an electronic leash," said psychotherapist Dr. Jill Murray in an interview with ABC News. "I've had girls come into my office with cell phone bills showing 9,000 text messages and calls in a month. This is all hours of the day and night. And it's threatening.'Hi. How are you? Where are you? Who are you with? Who are you talking to?'"  Considering a teen’s constant attachment to his or her cell phone, the potential control for the abuser is virtually unlimited.

In addition to the private world of text messaging, the world of social media offers abusive teens a public platform to humiliate and degrade their partners.

Teens can use Facebook or Twitter to insult their partners or reveal embarrassing, false or intimate information about the victim. Abusive partners can even use this potential public humiliation as a form of blackmail.

You might be surprised to learn just how common it is for teens to develop an abusive relationship. The National Center for Victims of Crime cites that over 40 percent of both genders report having been involved in some form of dating violence at least once during high school.

If you recognize that your teen is in an abusive relationship, your first reaction may be to begin limiting freedoms such as Internet and cell phone use, but often teens in an abusive relationship don’t confide in their parents for fear of such restrictions.

Remember, the victim in an abusive relationship is often made to feel as though he or she has done something wrong. A reaction that could be seen as a “punishment” could only increase feelings of low self-esteem and could further alienate your teen from you and other positive support groups – while the abuser will see the opportunity to slip into the position of the ally.

Instead of revoking mobile access, you could recommend this app for your teen. It was made for college students, as a peer-based support system to help escape social situations, but it can easily apply to the teen dating world. In this app, GPS is used to empower the victim, proving that technology can be a helpful tool in avoiding abuse.

The app is called “Circle of 6” and it allows users to easily contact 6 people with discreet SOS messages:
"Come and get me. I need help getting home safely. My GPS coordinates are..." and "Call and pretend you need me. I need an interruption."

If you notice that your teen’s partner is becoming too controlling, a good strategy is to engage in a project or take more trips together. You can also offer to facilitate outings for your teen and his or her friends. You can also go on trips and invite your teen and his or her significant other. The goal is to offer your teen examples of healthy, positive relationships that will contrast the negative emotions spurred by the abusive one.

Contributor: Amelia Wood is a blogger and freelance writer who often writes to explain medical billing and coding online. She welcomes your questions and comments at amelia1612@gmail.com.

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Teen Summer Job Tips

Summer is here and school is out. But it can't be all vacations and barbecues. It's time to get to work!

If you've got kids in high school, or even home from college, you may be thinking: how do I make my son or daughter get off the couch and go get a summer job?

Summer employment, besides subsidizing your child's own expenses, can teach him or her about work ethic, social skills, discipline, financial management, and generally help prepare the way for a long and happy career in "the real world."

Below are some pointers to help you get the ball rolling:

1. Set the expectations. The first thing you need to consider is the rationale. Is it generically good for your teen to have a job? Why, yes. But it's important to establish your priorities for why this is important. Make sure your teen understands that this is not optional, or they may be inclined to put off the job-seeking until it's too late. Set specific targets (3 applications a day, or a hard deadline after which you can go with a sure thing, even if it's not the first choice).
2. Start the search early. It's already June, so it's time to move. Chances are with your teen's school schedule, starting now will leave only 2-2½ months to work, which is about as short a span as anyone wants to hire for.
3. Apply gentle pressure. If there's any foot-dragging going on, some of it may be genuine nervousness; this stuff is still new and unfamiliar, after all. Talk about it on a daily basis, but try not to nag.
4. Help put together a resume. In all likelihood your teen's resume is thin. Think outside the box and include academic achievements, community service, and extracurricular activities. Show them how best to emphasize the desired aspects of each activity.
5. Use your own network. Don't feel bad about asking around with your own contacts. Part of what you aim to achieve may be some self-sufficiency on your youngster's part, but it may be more important just to get something started, and as you've surely learned as an adult, who you know counts as much as anything. Nepotism is underrated: being on familiar terms with your child's boss can be reassuring, and it may actually make your child a better worker if they know your reputation's tied up in it a little.
6. Look online. Monster.com and Craigslist are two of the most popular job-search sites for adults, but you'll have to filter results (and be particularly cautious with the latter) to make sure the environment is suitable for a minor to work in.  Never give your personal information such as your social security number online to people on Craigslists especially.  You need to be very careful there.  Be sure they are legitimate.
7. Meet the employer. If your child's working for a stranger, don't let it stay that way. Make sure that some time (preferably before the start date, but certainly during the first week), you find an excuse to stop by and shake hands with the boss.
8. Consider volunteering. If money is not the primary goal for you or your teen, volunteer work can be a great way to keep busy, build a resume, and help the world. It's a tough job market out there, too, and it may be a good year not to sweat the whole summer-job thing too much. Plus, community service opportunities are naturally more likely to be flexible with granting time off for summer trips!

This guest post comes courtesy of Susan Wells. Susan is a freelance blogger who enjoys writing about automotive and health news, technology, lifestyle and personal finance. She often researches and writes about automobile, property and health insurance, providing consumers with access to a trustworthy insurance quote guide and unbiased advice on purchasing. Susan welcomes comments.

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Managing Peer Pressure: 4 Steps to Help Your Teen Cope

There is no denying how awkward the teenage years are. Surging hormones, increasing responsibility, and feeling a lack of control over their lives have long caused stress among teens. Parents might struggle to find sympathy when their teenager moans how hard their life is but it is true more than ever for today's teens. A parent's job is to help guide their child through this time, hopefully having them emerge from the chrysalis as a competent adult.

One problem teens struggle to deal with is pressure. Non-stop access to social media has made it difficult for them to learn to switch off. As their parent, you can help them develop the skills they need to manage pressure in a positive way, without turning to damaging alternatives like alcohol or drugs.

1. Switching Off

Put your teen in an environment where there are no distractions like television, computers or phones. A weekend's camping, or even a short hike, can help them to learn that there won't be a disaster if they don't reply to that text straight away. Living in a world where immediate responses are possible, doesn't mean they are always necessary. Time away will help your teen develop confidence in the knowledge that they can step back now and then, without losing social status.

2. Taking Control

So many aspects of a teen's life are outside of their control. They may be nearly adults, but they are still dependent on their parents for basic needs. It is important that they still have restrictions and guidelines around their activities - most teens have not yet developed the emotional maturity to always act in their best interests. Work with your teen to help them learn to make the right decisions. Just as you would have done when they were toddlers, give them several suitable options and let them choose, such as about curfew punishments. Give them a safe environment for them to feel the repercussions of being irresponsible. If you always make the right decision for them, they won't learn to make decisions for themselves.

3. Keeping Healthy

Teaching your teens the benefits of eating well and being active will benefit them all their lives. A good diet, regular exercise, and enough sleep all help prevent depression and mood swings. Likewise, food stuffed with additives and chemicals, and poor sleeping habits can exacerbate a bad mood. Get your teen involved with planning and cooking family meals. Encourage them to be active by walking to school if it is close enough, and not taking the car or bus everywhere. For some teens, just being outside is a step in the right direction.

4. Building Confidence

Pressure usually comes from the fear of failure. Help your teen build their confidence so that they not only learn to trust themselves and their ability; they learn that it is ok to make mistakes. Encourage them to try new things. Show them by example that the learning process doesn't stop once you leave school. Don't hide your own mistakes, but talk to them about what you have tried and what you have learned. In a world of instant gratification, it may seem to them success should be immediate too. Help them see alternative ways of achieving their goals.

The teenage years are the last phase of intensive parenting before your child heads into the world as an adult. Pressure in life is inevitable, but giving your teen the tools to manage it will help them cope without feeling overwhelmed.

Kirsty Smith is a parent of 3 teenage boys. She is an experienced writer and blogger, covering a wide range of subjects including food, parenting, travel, and education. She also contributes to Degree Jungle a resource for students.

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Terrible Things Teens Say Online About their Parents

Brace yourself parents!


Is this a time to say, "It's not my kid?"

Though venting their displeasure regarding parental rules and restrictions is nothing new for tweens and teens, the current generation isn’t limited to bashing their parents to one friend at a time over the telephone; now, they can air their grievances in one of the world’s most public forums: Twitter.

Here are ten of the terrible things tweens have been saying for generations, but now say with a hashtag to emphasize their point.

1. “It’s Not Fair!” – The battle cry of older kids for decades can now be shouted from the rooftops; it’s less than one hundred and forty characters, and allows plenty of room for creative hashtagging.
2. Physical Insults – Kids often speak without thinking in the heat of indignation; once upon a time, the hurtful insults about their parents’ physical appearances were limited to a few sets of ears. Now, anyone with access to a Twitter feed can see exactly what a tween finds disagreeable about their parents’ appearance.
3. “It’s My Life!” – Often used in tandem with the old faithful “it’s not fair,” kids that are just starting to assert their independence love to claim that they are, in fact, the masters of their own lives. Also like “it’s not fair,” “it’s my life” is short enough to leave room for heavy-hitting hashtags.
4. Airing Sensitive and Private Information – Kids that are angry or hurt will lash out in any way possible; often, this means sharing personal and potentially humiliating information. Before the days of social networking, the scope was limited to those that could physically hear a tween’s angry shouts.
5. “I Hate My Parents!” – Few phrases strike a parent to the heart like “I hate you.” Unfortunately, most kids will utter those dreaded words at some point, and today’s kids can also drive the point home with an angry tweet.
6. “You’re Not Even My Real Mom!” – When disputes erupt in blended families, an angry tween’s go-to response is “you’re not even my real parent!” When these statements find their way to social networking sites, it can create even more distance in an already shaky relationship.
7. “My Parents Are So Stupid!” – Mark Twain famously said, “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he’d learned in seven years.” This age-old sentiment has been on the lips of kids for decades; now it’s on their Twitter feeds as well.
8. Using Foul Language to Drive the Point Home – Rebellious kids will often resort to profanity in an attempt to underscore their frustration and to elicit a response from parents. When they do so in a forum as public as Twitter, the humiliation a parent feels in this situation is increased exponentially.
9. “My Parents are Too Old to Understand!” – The young always feel that their parents are out of touch with modern ways of thinking; this sentiment is both tweeted and the belief in it exhibited by a tween thinking that their parents are too out of touch to operate Twitter in order to find their comments.
10. Name Calling – When kids resort to publicly calling their parents rude or profane names, it’s both a bid for acceptance from their peers and a way of exhibiting how “adult” they are. Twitter offers tweens not only a venue for airing their thoughts, but a platform for their peers to encourage their poor behavior.

Source:  Find A Babysitter

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Teens and College: 5 Tips for Starting the Conversation

Nothing is more difficult as a parent than watching your babies leave the nest.


This moment can happen at any age, but one of the most common associations is on the day they start college courses.

Even if your child will be living at home for a few years when they start school, the beginning of college still marks the beginning of their adult life. So, how do you prepare your kids for the process of choosing a college based on their needs? And, how do you do this while recognizing that this decision is, ultimately, up to your child?

Even though this can feel like a thin tight rope to walk, and you may be more nervous about your child’s choice of college than he or she is, it is still very important to have a discussion with your teen about future college plans. In fact, this conversation can be helpful for you both.

Here are some good tips for going about it:

1. Be realistic about your expectations.  This is probably the most important step parents need to reach in order to have a successful talk with their teen about college. There is nothing wrong about setting high standards for your children and having high hopes for the education that they will pursue after graduation, especially if you intend to pay for it. However, you have to remember that, once they graduate high school, your kids’ lives are technically in their own hands. They will be of the age to make their own decisions and determine their own futures. So, parents need to reach a healthy balance of personal expectations and allowing their children the freedom to follow their own dreams before a conversation can be had.

2. Figure out how they feel.  The next step after you have come to terms with your own expectations is to figure out what your child’s expectations are for him or herself. Starting in on page twenty when your kid has only thought about college to about page four won’t really work. Likewise, falsely assuming your child is starting at square one when, in fact, he or she has been researching schools for months is another way to start the conversation off on the wrong foot. Instead, ask your child how much time they have spent thinking about going to college. Then, ask them what they have been feeling about it. Figure out where your kids are in the process before you carry on with a discussion.

3. Make sure they understand the commitment.  There is more to college than picking a school and signing up. College students are no longer on a high school timetable where they attend school from 8 to 3 every day and have their schedules lined up for them. In college, your child will be responsible for getting himself to class on his own and getting work done in a timely manner without parental supervision. There is also a huge financial commitment involved in enrollment. Once you know your child’s plans, you can discuss with them the realities of those plans and how they mesh with the realities of what your family can provide.

4. Ask what you can do to help.  Instead of becoming a dictator in your child’s college search, simply ask what you can do to help the process. Ultimately, unless your child wants you to choose a school for them, the choice of where to go and what to study is up to your kid, so you should simply act as a form of help and guidance in the process. Let them know that you are there for them, no matter what. If your teenager doesn’t seem to know how to take the first steps toward figuring out college plans, then you can step in and provide a little direction by setting up school visits and looking for information about degree plans.

5. Suggest other sources of guidance.  If your teen is less than enthusiastic about working with you on college plans, you can refer them to someone you trust to provide insight and advice. Try suggesting that they talk to their favorite teacher, a college-aged cousin, or anyone else who has their best interests at heart for help along the way.

This is a special guest post by Katheryn Rivas, who writes on the topics of online university.  You can contact her at: katherynrivas87@gmail.com.

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Teen Help Programs: The Search

Tips for Searching for the Right Teen Help Program for My Child:

My story is a cautionary tale that I always hope parents can learn from.

I always tell parents to be cautious of the hundreds of toll free numbers and websites they find online that lead to marketing arms.  These marketing arms are not always in the best interest of your child.  It is always best to try to find a program or school that you can talk directly to the owner or director - someone who will be responsible for your child and accountable for their progress from the day they arrive to the day they finish.

With this - you are also speaking with someone that is only going to want to accept a student that they feel they can help - since their reputation will reflect their success with your child.  Whereas with a marketing arm, in many cases, they will get their commission and you will not hear from them again and they have nothing vested.

Another falsity I see many parents fall for is the misconception that all students need a Wilderness program to break them down prior entering a residential therapeutic program. 

This can not only be an expensive first step, it can also be an extra step that your teen has to complete and then start all over with a new set of therapists and school.  What I find more upsetting is some Wilderness programs won't say that most kids go on to longer term programs - so parents go into these short term programs thinking that 6-9 weeks will resolve issues that have been going on for a few years.  In my opinion, it is only a band-aid that quickly falls off if you are not able to go on to the next step.

If you sit back and truly think about it - why don't you just start at a residential therapeutic boarding school to begin with?  Why add an additional $15K-20K glorified camping trip?  They say to break your child down - however, isn't your child already broken down?  If you can find a solid 6-9-12 month program this should accommodate what you would get from doing your Wilderness.

I encourage parents to look for what I consider the ACE factor:

A=Academic's - Be sure the program is accredited academically
C=Clinical  - Be sure they have qualified therapist
E=Enrichment Programs - Be sure they offer enrichment program to stimulate your teen in a positive direction (ie: sports, music, culinary, fine arts, etc... it doesn't have to be all of them, but something to help boost their self esteem).

Visit me on www.helpyourteens.com for a free consultation and more helpful hints and tips for finding quality programs.

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