Back to School: Back to Bullying Prevention Awareness

As schools open across our country many kids that are victims of bullying will cringe to enter the playground or cafeteria. 

Bullying and cyberbullying is a growing concern for parents today.  From the hallways to the bathrooms some children are in fear of being teased and harassed by other kids.  This is a horrible way for kids to treat each other.

StopBullying.gov offers many resources for families.

Parents, school staff, and other caring adults have a role to play in preventing bullying. They can:

• Help kids understand bullying. Talk about what bullying is and how to stand up to it safely. Tell kids bullying is unacceptable. Make sure kids know how to get help.
• Keep the lines of communication open. Check in with kids often. Listen to them. Know their friends, ask about school, and understand their concerns.
• Encourage kids to do what they love. Special activities, interests, and hobbies can boost confidence, help kids make friends, and protect them from bullying behavior.
• Model how to treat others with kindness and respect.

Help kids understand bullying.

Kids who know what bullying is can better identify it. They can talk about bullying if it happens to them or others. Kids need to know ways to safely stand up to bullying and how to get help.

• Encourage kids to speak to a trusted adult if they are bullied or see others being bullied. The adult can give comfort, support, and advice, even if they can’t solve the problem directly. Encourage the child to report bullying if it happens.
• Talk about how to stand up to kids who bully. Give tips, like using humor and saying “stop” directly and confidently. Talk about what to do if those actions don’t work, like walking away
• Talk about strategies for staying safe, such as staying near adults or groups of other kids.
• Urge them to help kids who are bullied by showing kindness or getting help.
• Watch the short webisodes and discuss them with kids.

Source: StopBullying.gov

Teens and Online Dating Websites

In most cases, cyber dating is unsafe for teens. This is because, as you probably already know, there are a lot of predators online who try to prey on teens. That cute 16-year-old lacrosse player who lives a few hours away that your daughter is talking to online could really be a 40-year-old dude who lives with his parents a few blocks away from you. It’s easy to stretch the truth online, and people do it all the time. Although most reputable dating sites don’t allow teens to sign up for their services, there are a few online dating sites and dating chat rooms geared toward teens. If you discover that your teen has starting dating someone online, you should definitely be concerned.

Here are a few tips to help you deal with this type of situation:

1. Have a serious discussion about the risks
Your teen probably already knows that meeting people online isn’t the safest choice. However, he or she decided to do it anyway. As a parent, it’s your job to communicate the risks of online dating to your son or daughter without seeming too much like an overprotective, overbearing parent. So, sit down together and have an adult conversation about online predators. Try not to get angry with your teen, and calmly ask your teen to stop visiting online dating sites. This discussion may not be enough to convince your teen to stop meeting people online. It will, however, get your teen to start thinking more about how dangerous online dating can be.
2. Monitor your teen’s online behavior
Install some software on your computer that will let you monitor your teen’s online habits. You can choose whether or not you let your teen know you’re doing this. After the software is installed, check to see what sites your teen is visiting regularly, but avoid invading your child’s privacy too much. There’s no need to go through all of his or her Facebook messages, unless there’s good reason to suspect something is up. If you notice your teen is regularly visiting sites that appear to be online dating sites, you may want to get some software to block those sites from your family computer.
3. Do a background check on online suitors
If your teen still finds a way to cyber date, despite your efforts to curtail this activity, find out who he or she is talking to. Find out the name of the person, where he or she lives, and where he or she supposedly goes to school. Then conduct a background check on the online suitor to see if he or she is telling the truth to your teen.

Call the school the suitor allegedly attends and see if he or she is actually enrolled there. Try to find the phone number of the parents of the suitor, call them, and let them know their child is dating your child. If it turns out that the person your teen is communicating with is actually another, normal teen, you’ll have to decide whether or not you’ll allow your child to continue communicating with him or her. If you discover that the online dater isn’t actually a teen, it’s best to report him or her to the authorities.

Cyber dating is a real risk in your teen’s life. So, make sure you have an open, honest conversation about meeting people online with your son or daughter. And keep tabs on your child’s online behavior. It’s critical that you take the necessary steps to protect your teen from online predators.

Familiar with personal information screenings and online background checks, Jane Smith regularly writes about these topics in her blogs. Feel free to send her comments at janesmith161@gmail.com.

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Teens and Cussing: Let's Keep it Clean!

Generations ago many remember the threat or even use of a bar of soap if you back talked or used profanity.  Today whether it is verbal or in keystrokes, teens and kids are cussing like sailors and not thinking twice about it.  Why?  Is it our culture?  Is it peer pressure?  Do they think they are cool?

Cuss Control Academy has many answers for you.  They offer Ten Tips for Taming Your Tongue.

Teens will use their potty mouths and filthy language usually among their peers, maybe to be cool, maybe because they are hearing it at home.  Many have it on their social networking pages or even texting profanity.  Again, they need to be reminded of who may be reviewing their social networking pages.  Whether it is college admissions or potential employers, they need to learn to keep it clean!


Here is some good advice for parents:

• Experts agree that if offensive language is part of a pattern of aggressive behavior, there’s a problem. But in most cases, it’s just the way teens salt their language in a perceived desire to sound older.

• Perhaps swearing is part of growing up. Yet another part of growing up knowing how to speak with adults and in formal situations. As most parents come to recognize, teaching good judgment is not a one-time event; it’s a process.

• Parents who want their teens to stop cursing must clean up their own language as well. It sends a mixed message if parents use profanity or seem to enjoy movies with foul language. Make a clear rule that certain words will not be allowed in the house. Set consequences in advance.

• Talk with your children about what cursing says about them to the outside world (college admissions officers and possible employers, for example. Ask children how they believe others will view them if they use profanity. Explain that cursing can reflect a bad attitude. It can signify a person who lacks maturity, intelligence, manners or emotional control.

Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens.

Teen Secrets Online: What Are Your Kids Doing Digitally?

Kids and especially teens are notorious for keeping secrets from their parents, and in today’s world of technology they have a whole new world of ways to keep secrets.

Since kids are also incredibly adept at learning and using modern technology and the following list may help you keep better track of what your child may be hiding.

1. Surfing the Internet: Today, kids have almost unlimited access to computers, and now computers are small enough to carry, enabling access to the internet literally anywhere. This gives kids easy access to sites parents may disapprove of, not to mention “adult only” sites that only ask the user to click a link stating they are over 18 years of age. That’s an easy button to click if you want to keep secrets from parents. Close monitoring of your child’s computer history, password protection and parental blocks can keep your child away from inappropriate sites.
2. Downloads: Kids love to download- anything they can: pictures, jokes, videos, etc. These downloads may be putting your computer at risk for viruses that could cause permanent damage. Parents need to know the source of any download and that it is safe, as well as keeping up-to-date antivirus protection on all computers.
3. Music Downloads: What kind of music are your kids downloading and listening to? Even if the site is safe, the music might not be. Listen to the music downloads. If you are not able to understand the lyrics of the songs, you may want to check them out. You can find an internet music site that has song lyrics available to read. Be careful, though, if you do not allow your child to download certain titles, he/she will probably change the file name of the prohibited song to something allowable.
4. Uploads: Kids are not very discerning when it comes to what others should or should not know about themselves, and their families. Find out what sorts of pictures, text and other files your child might be sharing on social networking sites or shared folders.
5. Games: What games are your kids playing? Playstation, X-box, computer games, both individual and interactive-online are filled with violence and “adult” themes. Monitor the games your child buys or rents; most are labeled with age guidelines and parental notices. Also, monitor your child’s history with online games. Install a computer block that allows access to only approved sites.
6. Friends: Kids have many friends. Some of them, they don’t even know. Facebook and other online social networking sites make it easy for children to fall prey to predatory abusers disguised as “friends.” If your child has a Facebook or other social networking accounts, make sure that you know their username and password, and check in on their activity once in awhile.
7. Cell phone use: How much time your kids spend on the phone, when they are calling and who they are calling are important to know. Read the itemized portion of your bill each month to double check, and if there is a number you don’t recognize or don’t want your child accessing, have it blocked through your service carrier.
8. Texting: With unlimited texting capabilities on cell phone plans, your kids can text anyone at any time, day or night. Parents need to know who they are texting and the language they are both reading and using while they are texting.
9. Abbreviations: LOL, and CUL maybe be familiar “social” abbreviations, and ROLOFLMHO may be used by your kids without any qualms, but ROLOFLMAO might be offensive to some parents. Do you know the difference? Also, new abbreviations are added to the lexicon of technical communication on a daily basis. As a parent you need to be familiar with abbreviations so as to know what your kids are saying. You can check the internet for sites that list abbreviations and meanings.
10. Plagiarism and cheating: That kids are able to access information which expedites learning in ways never before thought of, is a wonderful outcome of technology today. That kids can also use this information to cheat in ways never before thought of, isn’t.

Kids will be kids, and they will try to “get away” with anything they can; this will never change. But the world of technology changes every day, and if parents remain technologically savvy, kids will have to work very hard to continue keeping those secrets.

Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens.

School Preparation: What To Ask Your Child's Teacher At the Start of the Year

Every year on the first day of school or in the days immediately leading up to classes resuming, you’ll be given the opportunity to meet your child’s new teacher so you can address any questions or concerns you have and get to know her a bit before classes begin. In the hustle and bustle of preparing for a new school year, however, it’s easy to lose track of important questions that you forget to ask when the opportunity arises. These are ten of the questions that you should always ask your child’s new teacher at the beginning of the school year.

• What Skills and Subjects Will Be Covered Under Your Curriculum? – While the state or local school board will determine the bulk of your child’s curriculum for the year, the teacher will still know what’s going to be covered and will be able to give you a running start in preparing for the subjects ahead.
• How Much Time Do You Expect Students to Spend on Homework? – Some teachers take a strict stance on homework, expecting kids to complete a relatively high amount each night. Others are more lenient and progressive, eschewing large assignments in favor of more intensive classroom work. Asking this question at the beginning of the year will allow you to determine which camp your child’s new teacher falls into so that you can prepare accordingly.
• What Standardized Tests Will My Child Be Expected to Take This Year? – Standardized tests are almost always mandated at the state level, and your child’s teacher will have little to no control over them. Still, she is your liaison between you and the school board, and as such is your most valuable source of information regarding testing schedules.
• How Can I Supplement My Child’s Education at Home? – No matter how gifted and enthusiastic your child’s new teacher is, she will still need your help to foster a love of learning and to get your child excited about school. Asking her how you can supplement the lessons she’s teaching will equip you to do just that.
• What Does Your Student Evaluation Process Entail? – How much of your child’s grade will be determined by test results, how much by homework and how much will be dependent on in-class work? Knowing this system will help you put more emphasis on crucial areas.
• What Programs are Available For Students That Are Struggling? – While no parent wants to think about their child struggling to keep up, it is an unfortunate fact for many students. The important thing to know is what programs are available to help get him back on track, as well as what you can do to get him enrolled in them if necessary.
• How Do You Prefer to Communicate With Parents? – Some teachers will communicate with their students’ parents through email or text message, while some send written letters home with students or prefer phone calls. You’ll need to know what the new teacher’s preferences are, as you will have to communicate throughout the school year.
• Do You Have a Teacher’s Wish List? – Many teachers have lists of optional items for the use of the whole class, like hand sanitizer, tissues and extra supplies. These items certainly aren’t compulsory, but they can relieve her of the financial burden of covering supplies the school system won’t.
• What is Your Volunteering Policy? – Some teachers, especially those overseeing younger children, have a very welcoming policy when it comes to parent volunteers. Others are less eager, and you’ll need to know which your new teacher is to ensure that you’re on the right side of that fence.
• Do You Expect Any Field Trips This Year? – Field trips are exciting and educational experiences for kids, but they can be a bit expensive for the parents forced to fund them. Knowing about any planned trips in advance will allow you to start saving money early, so that the trip isn’t a source of financial hardship later.

Remember that this list is only a basic outline, and that you should feel free to ask any specific questions you have. A committed and enthusiastic teacher will not make you feel rushed or foolish for asking questions; after all, you’re a team with a shared goal of ensuring that your child thrives to the best of his ability during the school year.

Source:  Live In Nanny

Teens and Shoplifting: Why Do Teens Steal

As we are in the summer months, more teens are hanging at the malls.  I get an increase in calls of teens being arrested for stealing and/or shoplifting.  Why are they doing this, especially if they have the money to pay for it?

Too Young To Start

There are almost as many reasons teens steal as there are things for teens to steal. One of the biggest reasons teens steal is peer pressure. Often, teens will steal items as a means of proving’ that they are “cool enough” to hang out with a certain group. This is especially dangerous because if your teen can be convinced to break the law for petty theft, there is a strong possibility he or she can be convinced to try other, more dangerous behaviors, like drinking or drugs. It is because of this that it is imperative you correct this behavior before it escalates to something beyond your control.

Another common reason teens steal is because they want an item their peers have but they cannot afford to purchase. Teens are very peer influenced, and may feel that if they don’t have the ‘it’ sneakers or mp3 player, they’ll be considered less cool than the kids who do. If your teen cannot afford these items, they may be so desperate to fit in that they simply steal the item. They may also steal money from you or a sibling to buy such an item. If you notice your teen has new electronics or accessories that you know you did not buy them, and your teen does not have a job or source of money, you may want to address whereabouts they came up with these items.

Teens may also steal simply for a thrill. Teens who steal for the ‘rush’ or the adrenaline boost are often simply bored and/ or testing the limits of authority. They may not even need or want the item they’re stealing! In cases like these, teens can act alone or as part of a group. Often, friends accompanying teens who shoplift will act as a ‘lookout’ for their friend who is committing the theft. Unfortunately, even if the lookout doesn’t actually steal anything, the can be prosecuted right along with the actual teen committing the crime, so its important that you make sure your teen is not aiding his or her friends who are shoplifting.

Yet another reason teens steal is for attention. If your teen feels neglected at home, or is jealous of the attention a sibling is getting, he or she may steal in the hopes that he or she is caught and the focus of your attention is diverted to them. If you suspect your teen is stealing or acting out to gain your attention, it is important that you address the problem before it garners more than just your attention, and becomes part of their criminal record. Though unconventional, this is your teen’s way of asking for your help- don’t let them down!

Need help?  Visit www.HelpYourTeens.com and join us on Facebook.

Underage Drinking and Your Teenager

Summer is here which means the “party season” for some teenagers even though drinking age is not until 21 in many states.

While it’s natural for teens to want to have a good time during their summer break, those that are college- bound should really be careful about what kind of “fun” they engage in—any sort of illegal activity that results in a misdemeanor or worse, a felony, can jeopardize their chances of getting into the university of his-or-her-choice.

Getting a mark on their record even after college acceptance can still come with great consequence. For example, it will most definitely affect their eligibility for Federal Financial Aid and can hinder job prospects, making it hard to pay for school. While there is an array of crimes that a teen can commit, one of the most common offenses is underage drinking.

To help remind your teen of the several drinking-related crimes that can affect their future, read the list below.

1. Minor in Possession. Like the name suggests, anyone who is a “minor” (under the legal drinking age of 21) can get in trouble if he or she is in possession of an alcoholic beverage. This can include actually being caught red-handed drinking, “appearing” to be intoxicated, or simply holding an empty bottle in a public place. Even blood alcohol content of .01 percent is enough to book and issue a $500 fine to minors in some states. In addition to a possible maximum six months in jail sentence, most first-time MPI offenders are required to enroll in an alcohol awareness program and/or be placed on probation.
2. Driving Under the Influence. Arguably one of the most frequent (and not to mention most lethal crimes) is driving while intoxicated. Punishment varies substantially.  It heavily depends on whether your teen’s blood alcohol content is .08 percent or higher and whether he or she harms anyone.But if you don’t, still expect to have to challenge the most maximum punishment, which includes up to 30 days in jail, up to 1 year of a driver’s license suspension, up to $1,000 fee, an ignition interlock device installed on his or her vehicle, and community service. Repeated offenders punishments will greatly increase. If your teen is 17-years-old or younger, his or her license suspension will be extended.
3. Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor. Lastly, some parents think that it’s “safer” for their teen to drink inside their home rather than on the streets. But allowing your teen (or his or her friends) to host parties and drink in your home can not only get them charged with an MPI, but you can get charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
Those who are of the legal drinking age and voluntarily serve minors an alcoholic beverage or gives them “easy access” to alcohol is committing a crime. This includes 21-year-old college students giving their underage classmates beer. It happens quite often but if caught, there could be great consequence, such as up to a $1,000 fine and up to six months in jail if someone is injured.

Special contributor:

This guest contribution was submitted by Samantha Gray, who specializes in writing about bachelor degree online. Questions and comments can be sent to:  samanthagray024@gmail.com.

Summer Activities Outside and Unplugging with Your Kids and Teens

What can you do to get your child unplugged and outside this summer?

Have you ever wanted to bottle up a child’s energy?

Does your teen need to do more than text or use social media?

Yes, they will stop moving when there is a screen in front of their faces. It could be a TV screen or a computer screen but if they can see it they immediately assume a seated position and time will be lost. So even the most active children can have moments of lazy times in front of the TV or playing a video game. This becomes a problem if you would not recognize your child standing up or without that glazed look he gets while staring at the TV.

Sedentary activities can be allowed if they are monitored and do not become a lifestyle.  In today’s world of video games, iPods, Tablets, and texting we see more kids preferring to exercise their fingers over their bodies.  As parents we need to encourage a healthy way to stay active and burn off excess fat and calories before it becomes a problem.

Since children naturally have a ton of energy and love to play then engaging them in physical activity should not be too difficult. It is recommended that a child get 60 minutes of moderately intense exercise a day.

The one hour can be split up in half or quarters but the main goal is to make them sweat for more than not cleaning their rooms for at least 60 minutes daily. This alone can have a tremendous effect on keep their weight now and keeping them healthy.

Ways to keep your child active:

• Martial Arts
• Swimming
• Join a team sport
• Take the dog for job or a long walk
• Bike riding
• A quick morning routine of jumping jacks, running in place, push-ups and crunches followed by more activity later in the day.
• Raking leaves
• Doing yard work for an elderly neighbor
• Walking a neighbor’s dog
• Toss a football
• Go on a nature hunt.
• Play catch in the front yard.
• Kickball
• Surfing

There are plenty of ways to keep moving. It seems so many try to calm their child down or have them satisfied by video games and TV. This will not give children the physical activity or mental
stimulation they need to live a healthy life. A lot of that pent up frustration and fidgety behavior is an active kid just waiting to throw a football or go on a nature walk.

Make this a family activity and everybody wins.  Families who are active have active children.  With a rise in childhood obesity it is essential that we find activities the children enjoy.  One of the best ways to encourage an activity is by making it a family sport or activity.


Everyone in the family will benefit from working out together.

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