In most cases, cyber dating is unsafe for teens. This is because, as
you probably already know, there are a lot of predators online who try
to prey on teens. That cute 16-year-old lacrosse player who lives a few
hours away that your daughter is talking to online could really be a
40-year-old dude who lives with his parents a few blocks away from you.
It’s easy to stretch the truth online, and people do it all the time.
Although most reputable dating sites don’t allow teens to sign up for
their services, there are a few online dating sites and dating chat
rooms geared toward teens. If you discover that your teen has starting
dating someone online, you should definitely be concerned.
Here are a
few tips to help you deal with this type of situation:
1. Have a serious discussion about the risks
Your teen probably already knows that meeting people online isn’t the
safest choice. However, he or she decided to do it anyway. As a parent,
it’s your job to communicate the risks of online dating to your son or
daughter without seeming too much like an overprotective, overbearing
parent. So, sit down together and have an adult conversation about
online predators. Try not to get angry with your teen, and calmly ask
your teen to stop visiting online dating sites. This discussion may not
be enough to convince your teen to stop meeting people online. It will,
however, get your teen to start thinking more about how dangerous online
dating can be.
2. Monitor your teen’s online behavior
Install some software on your computer that will let you monitor your
teen’s online habits. You can choose whether or not you let your teen
know you’re doing this. After the software is installed, check to see
what sites your teen is visiting regularly, but avoid invading your
child’s privacy too much. There’s no need to go through all of his or
her Facebook messages, unless there’s good reason to suspect something
is up. If you notice your teen is regularly visiting sites that appear
to be online dating sites, you may want to get some software to block
those sites from your family computer.
3. Do a background check on online suitors
If your teen still finds a way to cyber date, despite your efforts to
curtail this activity, find out who he or she is talking to. Find out
the name of the person, where he or she lives, and where he or she
supposedly goes to school. Then conduct a background check on the online
suitor to see if he or she is telling the truth to your teen.
Call the school the suitor allegedly attends and see if he or she is
actually enrolled there. Try to find the phone number of the parents of
the suitor, call them, and let them know their child is dating your
child. If it turns out that the person your teen is communicating with
is actually another, normal teen, you’ll have to decide whether or not
you’ll allow your child to continue communicating with him or her. If
you discover that the online dater isn’t actually a teen, it’s best to
report him or her to the authorities.
Cyber dating is a real risk in your teen’s life. So, make sure you
have an open, honest conversation about meeting people online with your
son or daughter. And keep tabs on your child’s online behavior. It’s
critical that you take the necessary steps to protect your teen from
online predators.
Familiar with personal information screenings and online background checks, Jane Smith regularly writes about these topics in her blogs. Feel free to send her comments at janesmith161@gmail.com.
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