Underage Drinking: Starting the Conversation Early

April is Alcohol Awareness Month.

Here are ten questions that are asked frequently by parents of kids, tweens and teens:

1)  At what age would you suggest parents start talking to kids about alcohol? Should parents bring it up independently, or wait for their children to ask before broaching the topic?
Like with any sensitive and serious subject, as soon as a parent believes their child is mature enough to understand the topic (alcohol) is when they should start discussions.  It can start by asking them their thoughts on alcohol, listen to them carefully and remember, never criticize.  Start the discussion at their level and start learning from each other.

Education is the key to prevention and can help your child to better understand the risk and dangers of alcohol from an early age.

Waiting for a crisis to happen, such as living with an alcoholic or having an issue with a family member that has a drinking problem is not the time to start talking to the child.  With this type of situation, the subject should be approached as early as the child can possibly understand alcohol and substance use.

2)  If you’ve had bad experiences with alcohol in the past (ie you or a friend/family member has battled alcoholism or similar issues), should you be open about them with your kid? If so, when is the right age for kids to hear this information? How open should you be?

This is a very tricky question.  On one hand we value honesty, however when a teenager likes to throw it back at you when they decide to experiment and it goes too far is when you realize you may want to pick and choose what stories from your past you want to share.
If you have a family member that has battled with addiction, alcoholism or similar issues, there is nothing like firsthand experiences (especially those people that are related to them) to help them understand how harmful this disease can be and in some cases, deadly.    I think it is very important that your teenager know these stories and how it relates to them – especially as they go into middle school and high school and start feeling the peer pressure from to others to experiment with different substances.

3)  Are there any websites or books that you’d recommend having parents read or showing kids (at any age)? Are certain types of information better for each age group (ie maybe children respond better to broad themes and videos, tweens respond well to anecdotes and stories, and teens respond better to hard facts about drinking and health)?

Ask Listen Learn: Is a fantastic interactive and educational website created by The Century Council For Underage Drinking.  This site if full of facts, resources, videos downloads, games as well as more links that offer extended information.  This site is targeted for all ages from younger kids to teens.
The Cool Spot: This is another great website for tweens and teens.  This deals with information on alcohol and helping teens and young teens resist peer pressure.
Smashed:  Story of a Drunken Girlhood by Koren Zailckas – This is an excellent book for both parents and teens of a true story.  It was a NYT’s best seller.  Eye-opening and utterly gripping, Koren Zailckas’s story is that of thousands of girls like her who are not alcoholics—yet—but who routinely use booze as a shortcut to courage and a stand-in for good judgment.  This book is more for teenagers and parents.

4)  Do you think that schools and/or the media do a good job of warning kids about the dangers of alcohol consumption, or do they receive mixed messages about drinking? How might you incorporate your thoughts about this into a conversation with your child?

Schools and teachers do what they are paid to do, and in most cases, especially with dedicated teachers and employees, will go above their duty and do more.  However it is the parent’s responsibility to continue to talk to their child about the risks and dangers of alcohol, as well as the peer pressure they may face in school and in their community.

Though many parents are busy today, some working two jobs, many are single parents – there are few excuses not to take the time to talk to your kids about these subjects.  Whether it is Internet safety, substance abuse, safe sex, or simply homework – parenting is your priority.  I am not saying this is easy, I know for a fact, it isn’t.  I was a single parent with two teenagers, it was very hard.  I think today is even more challenging since there is more obstacles to contend with than there was even a decade ago.
The good news is the most recent study by The Century Council says that 83% of youth cite parents as the leading influence in their decisions not to drink alcohol.  Another words – our kids are listening and parents are doing their job parenting!

5)  How often should you talk to kids about alcohol, and does it vary by age? (i.e. less frequently for younger children, more frequently for tweens, and most frequently for teenagers?)

As frequently as you have an opportunity.  If there is a reason for it – if there is a conversation about it, expand on it – don’t run from it.  This is for both tweens and teens.  As far as little children are concerned, again it depends on their maturity and what your family dynamics consist of.

 6)  If you drink yourself, is it ever a good idea to allow kids to drink with you (i.e. a glass of wine at dinner) to de-stigmatize alcohol and help them be responsible? Or is it instead better to forbid them from consuming alcohol altogether until they are 21? 

Alcohol is illegal for underage drinkers.  However there are some that believe that a sip of alcohol isn’t be a big deal.  I believe this is a personal decision, but if you have alcoholism that runs in your family, it is something that I would caution you on.
The other side to this is some people believe it would eliminate them from trying it at a friend’s house where they could get into trouble such as drinking and driving.  I think this goes back to being a personal choice on for your family.  It goes back to talking to your teen – communication.  Keep the lines open!

7)  If you suspect your child’s friends are drinking or pressuring him/her to drink, should you stop allowing your child to hang out with them?

Communication.  Talk to your child about these friends.  Find out what is going on and help your child see that maybe the choices he/she is making are not in their best interest.  It is better if your teen comes to the conclusion not to hang out with these friends rather than their parent telling them not to.

8)  Should the discussion be different for a daughter versus a son? How might you talk to the different sexes differently about alcohol (i.e. maybe you’d warn girls more about not having people slip something in their drinks at parties, while you’d warn boys more about alcohol and hazing/pranks.)

I don’t want parents to get confused on gender and alcoholism.  It doesn’t discriminate.  A girl or a boy can be slipped a drug in their drink at a party – just like a girl or boy can be coerced into participating into a mean prank of hazing.  

 With this, whether you have a son or daughter, you need to speak with them about the risks of leaving any drink alone and coming back for it.  Keep in mind, you don’t have to have an alcoholic beverage to put a powdery substance into it (another words even a soda can be spiked).

The important issue is they understand that these things can happen and they can happen to them.

9)  What should you do if you suspect your teenager is drinking against your advice?

Communication.  I know it is easier said than done (and I sound like a broken record), however it is the best tool we have and the most effective.  As hard as it can be, talking with a teenager is difficult, but we have to continue to break down those walls until they talk to us and tell us why they are turning to alcohol.
If you aren’t able to get through, please don’t be ashamed or embarrassed if you can’t, you are not alone.  Again, teen years are the most trying times.  Reach out to an adolescent therapist or counselor.  Hopefully your teen will agree to go. If not, may you have a family member or good friend your teen will confide in.  It so important to get your teen to talk about why he/she is drinking.  Don’t give up – whether it is a guidance counselor, sports coach, someone he/she is willing to open up to.

Parents can’t allow this to escalate and only believe it is a phase.  Maybe it is – but maybe it isn’t.  Be proactive.  Don’t wait for it to reach the addiction level. Don’t be a parent in denial.  There is help and you don’t have to be ashamed to ask for it.

There are many typical teens that end up being addicts – don’t let your teenager be one of them.

 10)  Could you offer one specific tip for each age group (elementary school, tween/middle school, and high school) that I may have missed or that people might not think of?

For all ages, parents need to realize how important it is to be a role model.  As I mentioned earlier, 83% of children are listening and are influenced by their parents.  That is a large number.  So continue keeping those lines of communication open – starting early and going into their college years!

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Sobering Facts About College and Teen Drinking

Alcohol can kill.  It is that simple.


It is easy for educators and parents to become overdramatic when warning young students about the dangers of alcohol.

Flooded with extensive media coverage of seemingly every college drinking death, their genuine concern can become panic.

The truth is, most college students who drink do not binge, and suicide may even be a higher cause of death among this demographic. Nevertheless, one alcohol-related student death is too many, especially since it’s so easily prevented.

With that in mind, here are 10 sobering reminders why you should drink responsibly.

1) Nearly 2,000 students die from alcohol-related injuries each year.: Every year, an estimated 1,825 students between the ages of 18 and 24 die from injuries sustained by excessive alcohol consumption. This works out as nearly one death for every two colleges in America. Incredibly, another 599,000 are unintentionally injured due to the effects of alcohol. Out of 4,140 colleges in the U.S., both public and private, this factors out to 145 injuries for every single campus. (It should be noted, however, that the methodology for finding these statistics has been questioned.)
2) College drinking deaths rose 26.7% from 1999 to 2005: Deaths of students from alcohol poisoning or alcohol-related accidents are certainly nothing new. College administrations have been making strides in educating students about the dangers of binge drinking for years, but unfortunately that doesn’t seem to be having a positive effect on the number of student drinking deaths. On the contrary, the number is actually rising. The 1,825 deaths calculated in 2005 were an increase of almost 27% from the 1,440 deaths calculated in 1998.
3) Freshmen account for more than one-third of college student deaths: When it comes to alcohol-related deaths, the first year of college is easily the most dangerous. A USA Today study done in 2006 found that although freshman account for only about 24% of the total population of college students, they make up much more than their share of the number of deaths. For example, they accounted for 40% of undergraduate suicides, 47% of undergrad deaths on campus, and half of deaths from falls out of windows and off rooftops. Of these deaths, one out of five was found to have been drinking.
4) Fifty-three percent of college students have experienced depression, and less than one-third seek help: With all the pressure, the separation from family and familiar surroundings, and the lack of sleep college students are faced with, depression is a very common ailment on campus. More than half of college students will experience some form of it, and the majority of them will not seek help. The answer for many is to drown their sorrows in alcohol. A 1998 study found as many as 1.5% of students tried to commit suicide because of drinking and/or drug use.
5) At least one student has died from drinking in college hazing rituals every year for more than four decades: Hazing goes back to at least the 1800s and possibly even before. It’s always been used as a way of putting a person through a trial to earn membership in a select group. But to put it bluntly, if the person is killed, what’s the point? Since 1975, thousands of lives have been needlessly thrown away in hazing rituals, devastating their families and usually spelling the end for the organizations they were trying to join.
6) In 82% of hazing deaths, a huge amount of alcohol consumed is involved: Alcohol is sometimes referred to as “liquid courage,” and it’s plain to see why the vast majority of college student athletes and pledges to fraternities and sororities would need to be brave when going through hazing. It can involve beatings, public humiliation, or simply being forced to chug copious amounts of alcohol. As one researcher, professor Hank Nuwer, put it, “We’re talking levels which would be approaching, basically half of your blood system being filled with liquor.”
7) Chico State University student Matthew Carrington died from binging on water : Because of the amount of negative attention hazing has received in recent years, many schools have banned alcohol from Greek functions. To get around this, many college groups have taken to forcing pledges to drink huge amounts of water or milk, either of which can be lethal in large quantities. In 2009, Matthew Carrington died after water absorbed into his blood after his fraternity mates forced him to drink from a five-gallon jug of water that they kept refilling.
8) Eighty-three of the college student deaths from 1999 to 2005 were of underage students: There is a reason the U.S. has a legal drinking age. Hopefully, at least, people over 20 are better equipped to handle peer pressure and know when to call it quits on a night of drinking. They also have two or three years of college under their belt and don’t need to hit the first party they see and get as drunk as humanly possible. But 83 underclassmen died in six years as a result of alcohol poisoning because they weren’t mature enough to drink responsibly.
9) At a 0.15 BAC, chances of a car crash due to drunk driving are 200 times higher: Although the number of deaths due to college students drinking and driving may have been overestimated in the past, there’s no shortage of students still getting behind the wheel while intoxicated. One in five students admitted to driving drunk in a four-year study that concluded in 2010. No states allow driving at a blood-alcohol level over 0.08%. Even at this level, drivers are still about 10 times more likely to be in a (potentially fatal) car crash.
10) A Colorado State University student died of alcohol poisoning with a BAC of 0.436: On a Friday in 2004, Samantha Spady started drinking at 6 p.m. and consumed an estimated 40 cups of beer and shots of vodka. When she was found the next day, her body had a blood-alcohol level of 0.436, an astronomical figure that the coroner said was probably higher earlier in the evening of her death. The most sobering part of her story is that her friends had no indication she had been poisoned by alcohol and was dying; they had left her in a room “to sleep it off.”

Source:  Online Colleges

April is Alcohol Prevention Awareness Month.  You can never talk to your teens or tweens enough about the risks of drinking.

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Sue Scheff: Teens, Drinking and what Parent's Don't know

As the trial of Diane Katz Santarelli concludes, it should also be a wake-up call for parents. Teens and drinking is a concern and a very serious one.

The statistics are sobering. In a recent national survey of more than 2,500 eleventh and twelfth graders, 90 percent of teens believe their counterparts are more likely to drink and drive on prom night and 79 percent believe the same is true for graduation night.

What parents need to know is despite the tragic tales of reckless driving on prom and graduation nights, teens have a pervasive "it won't happen to me" attitude. Add to the alcohol factor distractions like texting or talking on the cell phone while driving, or the greater likelihood of multiple people in the car, and the crash potential is very real.

Parenting Tips:

• Communicate, Communicate Ask where your children are going, with whom they will be and what they will be doing. Ask who and how they will be supervised at a party. Be wary of sleepovers and all night parties. For some teens, sleepovers are opportunities to use drugs, alcohol and/or have sex, and can put them under too much peer pressure. Teen use of alcohol can lead to unprotected sex or dating violence. If your teen is at a home party, be sure you and the supervising adults share the same values and expectations for behavior at the party. Check in by phone or drive over to make sure a responsible parent is supervising the event and your child is still there. Make sure your teen has a safe ride home at the end of the party.
• Get involved. Volunteer to supervise school or neighborhood parties. Offer to chauffeur kids to and from graduation celebrations. Host an alcohol free party at your home.
• Discuss Safety with Your Child Even if your child resists alcohol and drugs, he or she is still at risk for becoming victimized by them. Emphasize the importance of watching out for careless, and possibly drunken, drivers and using the "buddy system" so that he or she is with at least one friend at all times. Encourage your child to call you at any time if he or she needs a safe ride home or for any other reason.
• Be clear about what you expect and be firm. Around age 17 and 18 is a time when youth are expected to seek more independence and are often eager to separate from parental controls. The combination of more independence along with pressures to party and fears about what the future holds can make graduating students vulnerable. Talk with your teen about what is a reasonable curfew and stick to it. Have your teen check in often. Discuss in advance the consequence for breaking the rules.
• Encourage graduating teens to take healthy risks. It is normal and healthy for teens to take appropriate risks that help them to learn, develop independence, conquer fears and build confidence. Rather than celebrating the graduation rite of passage with drinking and sex, encourage your teens to celebrate with their friends and family in some creative and healthy ways.

Source: Connect with Kids

Related articles:

Parents in Denial
Supervised Underage Drinking
Be Part of We Don't Serve Teens
Drinking: Too Smart to Start

Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens.  Read more.

Sue Scheff: Don't Let Your Luck Run Out on St. Patrick's Day

"I'm fine to drive."

Expect to hear this line a lot on March 17th, St. Patrick's Day. Known as much for drinking as it is for shamrocks and the color green, this holiday is a fun time to be out with friends, but can be a dangerous time to be out on the road. Too many people are under the misconception that you need to be "falling down drunk" to be too impaired to drive safely. They couldn't be more wrong.

Nearly 12,000 people were killed in crashes involving an alcohol-impaired driver in 2008. That's about one person every 45 minutes. You can't help but wonder if those lives might have been saved if only people had thought twice before getting behind the wheel.

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) and the Ad Council are continuing to work together on the "Buzzed Driving is Drunk Driving" PSA campaign. Buzzed drivers drink and drive, but do not consider themselves a hazard on the roadway because they have had "only a few drinks." BuzzedDriving hopes to educate people on the reality that consuming even a few drinks can impair driving and that "Buzzed Driving is Drunk Driving."

With St. Patrick's Day approaching, it's important that drivers be reminded about the dangers of buzzed driving. We need your help.

Get the word out that before going out after work to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, you should be sure to line up alternative transportation: have the number for a taxi, know the area public transportation system or designate a sober driver.

Follow BuzzedDriving on Twitter and Facebook to get the latest updates and news from NHTSA. You can also visit their campaign Web site to sign a pledge not to drive buzzed, play an interactive game demonstrating how drinking can impair driving and hear a personal story from someone who has been affected by buzzed driving.

Enjoy St. Patrick's Day and remember safety always comes first!

Watch the PSA video and read more on Examiner.

Sue Scheff: Supervised Underage Drinking

As New Year's Eve is fast approaching, people have made their plans or in the process of deciding what they will be doing. One thing is almost certain, many plans include drinking alcoholic beverages. It is a fact that the rate of drunk driving increased during holiday times, however that doesn't mean we can't still remind people that drunk driving and buzzed driving kills!
The topic of underage drinking is also a huge concern, and a topic every parent of a teen needs to be aware of. According to a Connect with Kids article this past summer, it gave some insights as to why some parent "allow" this and the philosophy behind it.

Here are some excerpts from the article, and you make your own decisions.

"It's kind of like [parents] open the door as soon as you get to the party, and they have a bowl to the side where they take your keys before you even start drinking."

- Cameron Herron, 19

New research from Penn State University reports that high school kids who aren't allowed to drink alcohol are far less likely to drink heavily when they get to college. This contradicts the conventional wisdom that forbidding alcohol turns it into a kind of "forbidden fruit" that causes kids to go wild in college.

But still, every year there are parents who break the law: they host a party and serve teens alcohol.

How often does this happen? According to teens, all the time.

"It's kind of like they open the door as soon as you get to the party," says 19-year-old Cameron Herron, "and they have a bowl to the side where they take your keys before you even start drinking."

Why do some parents allow underage drinking?

"Because they would rather it be at their house and for them to have the control," answers 19-year-old Marlena Flesner, "and for them to know where their kids are."

"I hear that a lot," says Dr. Michael Fishman, an addiction specialist, "and the fallacy is ‘to keep the kids safe'."

That's the assumption, but is it true? Is it really safer when kids drink with adult supervision?

"I've been at parties where I've seen a mom say, ‘hey, this kid is a little too drunk - no more for him,'" says 19-year-old Anthony Machalette.

The problem, kids say, is that sometimes there is no supervision.

"And it was pretty much all of us downstairs partying," recalls 19-year-old Ryan Soto. "The parents are upstairs doing - nothing. They just kind of minded their own business and let us have a party downstairs."

"Usually they are not around," agrees Marlena Flesner. "They just kind of host it and sometimes buy the alcohol - or they just allow it."

And often, the kids start drinking at home - but they don't stay there.

"In fact, some people are going to leave that house intoxicated," says Dr. Fishman.

"It was a lot of the wealthy parents who had a big house," says 20-year-old Jessica Holt, about one party she attended. "A lot of people could come. They wouldn't collect keys or anything."

Finally, experts say, allowing kids to drink at home sends a message.

"You're introducing a lifestyle to your 15, 16, 17 year old and that lifestyle is alcohol. And so by allowing them to drink in your home, you're basically giving them permission to drink in the world at large and any time they'd like," explains Stacey DeWitt, President of Connect with Kids.

She says it's easier for kids to say no if you make a stand against underage drinking that is loud and clear.

"I know my mother would kick my behind if I was drinking underage," says 20-year-old Erin Smith.

What do you think? Watch the video - be an educated parent, you will have safer teens.

Please have a safe and healthy New Year's Eve, and you really don't need alcohol to have fun! Learn about to put your own twist into the New Year Eve's party with your teens!

Also on Examiner.

Sue Scheff: Buzzed Driving is Drunk Driving

What an important message for this time of the year, and truly, all year round. Take the time to be an educated parent, have safer teens and potentially save a life.


Did you know that in 2008, nearly 12,000 drivers or motorcycle riders died in alcohol-related crashes? That’s one person every 40 minutes. Many people are under the misconception that you would have to be “falling down drunk” to be too impaired to drive safely. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Last year alone, during the winter holiday season, 420 people were killed in alcohol-related crashes. You can’t help but wonder if those lives could have been saved if people thought twice before getting behind the wheel.

With the holidays approaching, it’s important that drivers be reminded about the dangers of buzzed driving. Who knows, it could save a life.

The National Highway Safety and Traffic Association (NHTSA) and the Ad Council are continuing their efforts with their PSA campaign called “Buzzed Driving is Drunk Driving.” The buzzed driver is one who drinks and drives, but does not consider himself a hazard on the roadway because “only a few” drinks are consumed. The campaign hopes to educate people that consuming even a few drinks can impair driving and that “Buzzed Driving is Drunk Driving.”

During the holiday season help keep “buzzed” drivers off the road. Learn about the dangers of buzzed driving, share a story or experience you might have had with buzzed driving and follow them on Twitter @BuzzedDriving and Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/buzzeddrivingisdrunkdriving ) to get the latest updates and news from NHTSA.

You can also visit the website (http://buzzeddriving.adcouncil.org/ ) where readers can sign a pledge not to drive buzzed, play an interactive game to help them understand how drinking can impair driving, and hear personal stories from people who have driven buzzed.

WATCH 30 SECOND PSA VIDEO – CLICK HERE.

Be an educated parent – have a safer teen and holiday season.

Also on Examiner.