Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) What Your Children Are Doing Shouldn't Be A Mystery

Who’s pressuring your kids? Who’s offering them alcohol or drugs? Who’s talking to them on the Internet?

Whether we’re teachers, parents, counselors…sometimes we just don’t know what’s really going on in a child’s life. If you want to talk to your kids about the challenges they face, but aren’t sure what to say, our programs will help…with real kids sharing their true stories, and advice from experts, educators and parents who have “been there.”

Click here for a fantastic educational resource to help you help your kids!

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Sue Scheff: Kids Addicted to Screens

By Connect with Kids

“Instead of using that time to become an adult, learning how to talk to adults, learning how to talk to women, learning how to talk to men, learning how to figure out what they want to do with their lives -- those are hours that are lost, that can never really be regained,”

– says Dr. Timothy Fong, M.D., addiction psychiatrist

The American Medical Association (AMA) reports that 5 million American kids are addicted to video games. In fact, if you add the time some children and teens spend in front of a screen -- TV, computer, cell phone or video game -- it equals more hours than anything else in their lives except sleep! And that begs the question: if they spend so much time plugged in, what are they missing out on?

Sabrina and her brother Ruben are fighting over the family computer. At the same time, their younger brother Daniel is playing video games with a friend.

“It’s just fun killing other people and stealing their stuff,” says Daniel, 8.

Sister Alinna waits to watch her favorite program on the big-screen TV.

“I dream about watching TV, and I watch Sponge Bob in my head,” says Alinna.

Four kids in one family who love anything with a screen.

“It’s just nowadays it seems like they’re a lot lazier and just want to sit on the tube and on the phone all the time,” says Harry Delano, the children’s father.

In fact, researchers at the University of Montreal found that one-third of teens spend about 40 hoursa week in front of a screen. For all those hours, what are the kids not doing? Experts say they’re not reading, studying, exercising or even just talking with other people.

“Instead of using that time to become an adult, by learning how to talk adults, learning how to talk to women, learning how to talk to men, learning how to figure out what they want to do with their lives -- those are hours that are lost, that can never really be regained,” says Dr. Timothy Fong, M.D., addiction psychiatrist.

Yolanda has tried to limit the time her children spend in front of a screen.

“Well, my mom gives me an hour on Myspace, but I usually do like three hours -- if they don’t notice,” says Sabrina, 16.

“Even though I get frustrated with it, I allow it to happen because that’s what makes her happy,” says Yolanda.

(Links)

If you are interested in this story, you may also be interested in these parent videos:

Tips for Parents

If your children are like most children, they spend too much time glued to the screen watching television, surfing the Internet and playing video games. So how can you break this habit without wrecking havoc in the home? The answer, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, is to find fun, positive activities that children enjoy and to smartly manage their screen time.

Experts suggest parents limit children’s total screen time to no more than one to two hours of quality programming per day. (CDC)

Following are 10 tips for parents to help their children make a painless transition from couch potato to a physically and pro-socially active child: (CDC)

Remove television sets from children’s bedrooms.

View television programs with children and discuss the content.

Use the VCR to show or record high-quality, educational programming for children.

Suggest several options for positive physical and pro-social activities that are available through local park districts, schools and community programs.

Recommend pro-social activities, such as volunteering at the Humane Society, local nursing homes, special-needs camps, etc.

Encourage alternative activities for children, including hobbies, athletics and creative play.
Form coalitions including libraries, faith-based organizations, and neighborhood groups to help provide physical and social environments that encourage and enable safe and enjoyable physical activity, including new sidewalks, safe parks and keeping close-to-home physical activity facilities open at night.

Ensure that appropriate activity options are available for disabled children.

Serve as a good role model; be active physically, and be available and interested when your children are viewing television and surfing the Internet in the home.

References

CDC
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP)

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Family Dinners and Eating Disorders

By Connect with Kids

“If you have dinner with your family, including your kids, five nights a week, you have amazing results. You seem to have less incidence of a lot of problems that parents worry about with their teens.”

– Nancy McGarrah, Ph.D., psychologist

The average American woman is 5’ 4” and weighs 140 pounds. The average American model is 5’ 11” and weights 117 pounds. For millions of girls, that difference translates into dangerous eating disorders and extreme diets. What can parents do to help protect their daughters?

Sometimes starvation diets, binging and purging, or overuse of diet pills are used to correct a flaw no one else can see.

“I just see myself as really fat and gross,” says Lauren, 16.

‘I started buying fitness magazines and they all said to diet. I just couldn’t see reality. I saw fat where there wasn’t any,” says Maggie, 17.

‘I think I’m really fat right now, and that’s why I want to lose weight,” says Shelby, 18.

A new study in the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine reports a positive way to reduce the risk of an eating disorder: having regularly-scheduled family dinners.

“If you have dinner with your family, including your kids, five nights a week, you have amazing results. You seem to have less incidence of a lot of problems that parents worry about with their teens,” says Nancy McGarrah, Ph.D., psychologist.

In fact, the study found that teen girls who regularly had dinner with their family were 30 percent less likely to go on extreme diets or develop an eating disorder. Why? For one thing, experts say parents who sit and eat a healthy meal with their kids are good role models.

“Studies show time and time again that children model parents’ behavior with food,” says Rachel Brandeis, American Dietetic Association.

But experts also say that eating disorders are emotional disorders, and a family meal is a chance for kids to be with those who love them the most. That can help counteract what causes eating disorders in the first place.

“You’re having time with the family, you’re showing your commitment to your kids, you are tailoring your day around your kids, you’re having them tailor their day around that important time, and you’re having open communication,” says McGarrah.

Tips for Parents

Shared family meals are more likely to be nutritious, and kids who eat regularly with their families are less likely to snack on unhealthy foods and more likely to eat fruits, vegetables and whole grains. (Nemours Foundation)

Teens who take part in regular family meals are less likely to smoke, drink alcohol or use marijuana and other drugs, and are more likely to have healthier diets as adults. (Nemours Foundation)

Girls who have five or more meals a week with their families are one-third less likely to develop unhealthy eating habits, which can range from skipping meals to full-fledged anorexia or abusing diet pills. (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, SAMHSA)

The importance of regular family activities to share ideas and find out “what’s happening” is a great way for a parent to be involved, discuss rules, monitor activities and friends, and be a good role model. (SAMHSA)

The benefits of eating together will last long after your meal ends, especially if you make family mealtimes a regular activity. (SAMHSA)

References

Nemours Foundation
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)

Sue Scheff: Preventing Teen Drug Abuse

Preventing Drug Abuse: What Can You Do?

If you suspect your teen is doing any form of gateway drug, it's important to talk to them about it as soon as possible. Again, it is important to not yell or threaten. You will no doubt be scared and angry, but so is your teen. If they feel as though you don't support them or they can't talk to you, scaring them will only make the problem worse! Try to remain calm.
Assure your teen they can trust you and that you love them and want to help them. Explain harmful side effects of drugs, but assure them it's not too late to get help, and that you will support them. Tell them about any changes you've noticed in their behavior and how those changes make you feel. Let them talk to you, and listen to them. Do not judge them or criticize them.

The first you need to do in order to prevent your teen from abusing drugs, alcohol or tobacco is to take seriously the threat posed by these substances to your child. You have to take seriously the risks posed because this will ultimately be the one catalyst that will allow you to talk to your teen about the problem in a frank and open manner. By taking to heart the importance of the matter at hand, you will be in a better position to urge your teen to do the same. You do not need to be harsh or judgmental with them. It is a better strategy to be as supportive as you can. If you insist on being hostile and angry with your teen, you will likely succeed in pushing them away form you and deeper into possible addiction.

Any treatment plan you decide upon for your teen should be dictated by the substances they abuse and how much they abuse them. For example, to send a child to a strict military-style school because they have tried drugs or alcohol a handful of times is something of an overreaction. Many times if a teen’s experiments with drugs, alcohol and tobacco are minor, a good open talk with them can convey all the information you want, and achieve very positive results in terms of future behavior.

Of course, the story is entirely different if your teen has become addicted to drugs and alcohol. In this instance, a detoxification program may be in order, along with a treatment regimen that helps wean the child off of drugs and replaces that with medicine. Studies have shown that the effectiveness of prescription medicine treatment for substance abuse is greatly enhanced when combined with one-on-one and/or family counseling.

One thing to remember if treatment becomes the order for the day when addressing your child’s substance issues is that relapse after treatment is common. This does not mean that you or your teen have failed any part of the recovery process. Addiction is extremely difficult to overcome and the most important thing to keep in mind is to take things one step at a time.

For more information about Teen Drug Abuse.

By Sue Scheff, Parents Universal Resource Experts

Wit's End! Book Information

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Inhalant Abuse among teens and pre-teens

Inhalant Abuse is becoming a growing problem among teens and pre-teens. With parents, this is a very serious concern that parents need to become educated about.

As a parent advocate, I believe this subject cannot be ignored, and a matter that people need to learn more about.

Inhalant Abuse is a lesser-known form of substance abuse, but is no less dangerous than other forms.The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service has reported that more than 2.1 million children in America experiment with some form of an inhalant each year and the Centers for Disease Control lists inhalants as second only to marijuana for illicit drug use among youth.

For more information on Inhalant Abuse visit http://www.inhalant.org/ - You could save a life today.

Sue Scheff: Sex Education and Prevention

Sex Education and Prevention

Talking with your children about sex is difficult, and it can be an easy thing to put off. Educating your child is important! If you aren't, you are allowing their knowledge to come from outside sources like the media and their friends - what is scarier!

The biggest key to preventing teenage pregnancy is education. The more your child knows about sex and the realistic effects it has, the more likely they are to make good decisions. Assuming that if sex is not discussed in your home your child will abstain is dangerously false.

Be open about sexuality. After all, it is a natural part of being human. Be approachable! Let your children know that they can ask you any questions they have about sex, including intimacy in their relationships. Regular conversations that are in good humor for both parties will keep the lines of communication open.

While you work to educate your children about sex, it is also a good idea to establish rules as far as curfews and behavior go. The two work hand in hand.

Most importantly, work with your children to find activities and goals that will keep them busy! Teenagers who become pregnant often lack activity that leaves them feeling gratified - and they turn to sex. Discuss their goals and dreams. Encourage them to have activities outside the house in positive environments. Maintain the idea that education is the most important part of being a teenager!

By Sue Scheff, Parents Universal Resource Experts

Sue Scheff: Helping Teens Avoid Bad Decisions - Risky Situations

by Connect with Kids

Good Kids, Bad Choices

All kids make mistakes … but some bad choices can lead to terrible outcomes. As parents, we need to do everything in our power to help our children learn to make smart decisions. How do you help your kids learn about the consequences of a split-second decision? How do you help them avoid dangerous and risky situations?

Learn what leads kids to make bad decisions… and how parents can help with Good Kids, Bad Choices.

What is your greatest fear for your child? Car accident? Drug or alcohol addiction? Sexually transmitted disease? Unplanned pregnancy? Physical disability? Death? When it comes to learning how to avoid bad decisions, children need the guidance and insights that only parents can provide.

So how do parents learn what situations kids get themselves into? Why they make bad choices?
Order Good Kids, Bad Choices and find out.

You'll see real teenagers talk about the split-second decisions they made … the terrible outcomes … and what they wish they had done instead. You'll learn tips from experts and parenting advice about the steps you can take to help your child learn to make better decisions. And you'll hear the inspiration from families who can help your family – before it's too late.

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) - Parents, Learn More About what Your Kids Know about the Internet

By: TAMMIE SLOUP, www.mywebtimes.com



Parents, get with the times.

That was Sarah Migas' opening message during a presentation about online safety Thursday night at Ottawa Township High School.

Social networking sites such as MySpace and Facebook and Internet chat rooms and instant messaging are becoming increasingly popular means for children and teenagers to socialize. While they have their positives, digital technology also can be dangerous.

"Kids are seeing the Internet as the wild wild West," said Migas, an Internet safety specialist with the Illinois Attorney General's Office.

Migas and Daniel Spillman, assistant attorney general with the high tech crimes bureau, talked to a handful of audience members, introducing what they referred to as a "travel guide" for parents to navigate their way through some of these social networking sites and learn the languages being used by children to communicate.

Migas said acronyms often are used amongst bloggers and instant messengers and are not always familiar to parents, who should be monitoring their children's online activities.

"It's like going to another country; you've got to learn the places and the language so you can keep up with the kids because predators know where the kids are," Migas said.

She pointed to examples such as A/S/L, which means age, sex, location. Predators can easily find a person with just that bit of information. Also, she cautioned parents about the acronym POS, which means parents over shoulder.

Internet chat rooms, sites people can access to discuss various topics in real time, also present possible dangerous encounters with predators.

Oftentimes, children will stumble upon sites because they're curious about the titles, and find themselves looking at sexually explicit photos, or conversations, without meaning to.

"And if your child actually talks to you about it, they should be praised. Often they are scared to talk because they're scared their computer privileges will be revoked," Migas said.

Spillman stressed he and Migas aren't trying to give out parenting advice, but threatening to yank the child's computer time away often hampers the child's willingness to open up about their Internet activities.

Online predators often will use what is referred to as "grooming" techniques to establish a relationship with a child, often times offering compliments about the child's looks or sympathizing with their problems.

Predators also are taking advantage of Web cams, soliciting children to take off their clothes by blackmailing them with personal information the predator threatens to share with the child's school or parents.

"These guys know how to get a hook in them and reel them in," Spillman said.

According to statistics, one in seven children will be approached online for sexual content. In the majority of cases, the predators are men.

While law enforcement does have the power to criminally charge predators, and authorities constantly monitor possibly dangerous encounters, Migas and Spillman said that's not enough eyes to protect children.

"We rely on parents," Migas said.

Keep the computer in an open area. Ask children about their Internet activities and monitor their social networking sites. Parents also can check recent activities on the computer by accessing the Internet history account in the control panel of the computer.

Blogs also have grown in popularity.

"Basically a blog is an online journal," Migas said, warning, "If you wouldn't want your grandma to see the pictures or read the content, don't post it."

Digital technology also has spurred what is deemed, "cyberbullying."

Instead of bullies preying on their victims in the halls of school or at the park, the tormenting is taking place online -- where the threats and harassment can be seen by anyone around the world.

"It's easy because they feel anonymous, and they don't see the reactions of the victims," Migas said.

Children can no longer take refuge in their homes from bullies.

"It can happen anywhere, anytime," Migas said.

According to statistics provided, more than 40 percent of children are bullied online at some point.

When a child feels threatened or harassed online, Migas and Spillman said the incident should be reported to parents and-or police. Also, any evidence should be printed and saved, and children should not retort in any way, as it can worsen the situation.

While many of the social networking sites do have safety measures, predators often find a way around them. Law enforcement also continues to monitor the Internet, but Internet dangers will be an ongoing issue in which authorities need the help of parents to fight.

"Unfortunately, I don't think this bureau will go under," Migas said of the attorney general's high tech crimes bureau.


Internet acronyms parents should know:

AITR: Adult In The Room

P911: Parent Emergency

PAW: Parents Are Watching

PIR: Parent In Room

POS: Parent Over Shoulder

MOS: Mom Over Shoulder

MIRL: Meet In Real Life

S2R: Send To Receive (pictures)

CD9: Code 9 (parents are around)

E or X: Ecstasy (the drug)

ASL(R P): Age Sex Location (Race / Picture)

TDTM: Talk Dirty To Me