Bullying, Cyberbullying and Bystanders: Go Beyond Bullies

Bullying, cyberbullying and teen deaths by suicide.  

When will we get beyond bullying?


With many new organizations and anti-bullying groups forming, reaching beyond bullying is becoming a part of our culture.

In 2010, Beyond Bullies was founded by Melissa Sherman.  She created the organization to give voice, confidence and hope to teens who feel depressed, alienated and alone because they are the targets of bullying and cyberbullying.

Beyond Bullies is the first online program in the United States, dedicated to helping teenagers who are the targets of bullying and cyberbullying, primarily through online and offline help from peer mentors.
E-Mentors is part of their program and it encourages teens to become mentors. Qualities of an E-Mentor are as follows:

• Personal commitment to be involved with another person for an extended time — generally, one year at minimum. Mentors have a genuine desire to be part of other people’s lives, to help them with tough decisions and to see them become the best they can be. They have to be invested in the mentoring relationship over the long haul to be there long enough to make a difference.

• Respect for individuals and for their abilities and their right to make their own choices in life. Mentors should not approach the mentee with the attitude that their own ways are better or that participants need to be rescued. Mentors who convey a sense of respect and equal dignity in the relationship win the trust of their mentees and the privilege of being advisors to them.

• Ability to listen and to accept different points of view. Most people can find someone who will give advice or express opinions. It’s much harder to find someone who will suspend his or her own judgment and really listen. Mentors often help simply by listening, asking thoughtful questions and giving mentees an opportunity to explore their own thoughts with a minimum of interference. When people feel accepted, they are more likely to ask for and respond to good ideas.

• Ability to empathize with another person’s struggles. Effective mentors can feel with people without feeling pity for them. Even without having had the same life experiences, they can empathize with their mentee’s feelings and personal problems.

• Ability to see solutions and opportunities as well as barriers. Effective mentors balance a realistic respect for the real and serious problems faced by their mentees with optimism about finding equally realistic solutions. They are able to make sense of a seeming jumble of issues and point out sensible alternatives.

• Flexibility and openness. Effective mentors recognize that relationships take time to develop and that communication is a two-way street. They are willing to take time to get to know their mentees, to learn new things that are important to their mentees (music, styles, philosophies, etc.), and even to be changed by their relationship.

South Florida has made too many headlines with stories of bullying and cyberbullying.  From a young teen that was doused in alcohol and set on fire (Michael Brewer), to a young girl that was nearly beaten to death (Josie Ratley), Deerfield Beach has been scarred with these horrific events.

Is your school or community ready to employ a Beyond Bullies program?  Visit www.BeyondBullies.org for more information.  You can also follow Beyond Bullies on Twitter.

Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens.

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Mix it Up Lunch Day: Teaching Tolerance and Acceptance

National Mix it Up Lunch Day is Tuesday, November 9th, is your school signed up?

Students all over the country will participate in learning about different cultures, different groups, cliques, races or ethnicity as they gather for lunch.  This challenge to social boundaries is part of the annual "Mix It Up At Lunch Day," sponsored by the Southern Poverty Law Center. The organizers hope that many of the prejudices and biases kids are brought up with will fall away when they meet new people.

Social scientists have long maintained that contact between diverse groups helps alleviate tensions and reduce prejudice. Mix It Up seeks to break down the barriers between students and improve intergroup relations so there are fewer misunderstandings that can lead to conflicts, bullying and harassment.

Many experts agree: Students thrive both socially and academically in schools that are inclusive. Yet, a look at recent headlines about bullying, cyberbullying and a lack of civility and empathy confirms that for too many students, schools are hotbeds of exclusion.  South Florida has been in the national headlines almost monthly with reports on the two teens in Broward County that were nearly bullied to death.

Both Michael Brewer and Josie Lou Ratley are no longer victims, they are survivors.  They are the voice and the example that teens, no matter how badly are beaten, can stand-up to bullies.  As Josie Ratley is struggling with her own speech due to brain damage, she is diligently working towards recovery and continues her fight on a daily basis.  Michael Brewer is recovered after being burned over two-thirds of his body, and painfully enduring months of physical therapy.

Isn't it time South Florida became one of the leaders in teaching tolerance and acceptance in our schools and communities?

Whether you are in Broward, Dade or Palm Beach County, sign your school up for National Mix it Up Lunch Day!  Register here. Are you outside of South Florida?  No problem, our country needs to get in the groove and learn to Mix it Up nationwide - click here to sign your school up today!

Pass this on to your local schools and teachers TODAY!  Get your Mix it Up tools here!
Customize your press release today for your school!

Sources: Connect with Kids, Teaching Tolerance

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Sue Scheff: Bullying Busters or Bystanders

As the news continues about the rising rates of bullying, parents need to take a stand. Determine if your child is being bullied or possibly a bully. Has your child witnessed another child being teased? Is he/she a bully bystander or will they be the one that busts them (tells the teacher or person in authority)?

The U.S. Department of Education cites the following ways in which bystanders and peers of victims can be negatively affected by acts of bullying:

• They may become afraid to associate with the victim for fear of lowering their own status or of retribution from the bully and becoming victims themselves.
• They may fear reporting bullying incidents because they do not want to be called a "snitch," a "tattler" or an "informer."
• Some experience feelings of guilt or helplessness for not standing up to the bully on behalf of their classmate.
• Many may be drawn into bullying behavior by group pressure.
• They may feel unsafe, unable to take action or a loss of control.

Bullying has become a vicious trend that although is not new, it is escalating as it spreads into cyberbullying. We are hearing about more children suffering with depression and committing suicide that may have links to them being bullied or teased in school or outside of school.

To find out more parent tips visit Connect with Kids - Bullying Bystanders.

Be an educated parent, learn all you can about bullying. Talk to your children and encourage them to do the right thing.

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