Sue Scheff (P.U.R.E.) Educating Parents Today

Teen Self-Esteem: Moms, Daughters - Teen Girl's Survival Guide

2012-01-26T18:01:00.000-08:00

Being a mother of a daughter I know firsthand that raising a teenage girl can be a challenge. Though my daughter’s teen years are a decade behind me, I listen to parents today and I sympathize with the extra burdens they have to endure with the added pressures of technology. It is not easy. The one common denominator that doesn’t change is most girls always feel they are never pretty enough, thin enough or fit in.

This needs to stop. Where does all this low self-worth stem from? As a parent, many of use always try to build out kids up – however peer pressure can be so strong.

Here is a fantastic guest post that I think parents will benefit from:

Just Mom and Me: A Teen Girl’s Survival Guide
Mom and daughter relationships are very complicated and multifaceted. Some of them are the best of pals and communicate with each other regularly. Some are forever in the combatant phase. There are some who even steer clear of any kind of clash. But it can be stated without an iota of doubt that there is a whiff of all these traits in almost all relationships.

The million dollar question here is for the mommies, “how to raise your darling daughters into influential girls who are self-confident?” they become adept at making constructive choices regarding their own lives and execute productive actions for others. In spite of being normal girls with their little insecurities, they have a strong will and feel all right about themselves. You should know that these girls will mature sensibly and lead a worthwhile and satiated life.

Acknowledge your family’s most valued ideals
It is very essential to mull over your family ethics and contemplate upon the means by which you will put across these values. Be sure to include suitable examples to corroborate your message in the most appropriate manner. For this you have to constantly keep a check on instances in your daily life to exemplify these ideals you want your daughter to imbibe.

Persuade your daughter to resolve her own issues before settling it yourself
You have to coach your daughter to make her own decisions. She has to be independent and develop her own aptitude to deal with situations. Tell her to deliberate upon more than two approaches to deal with the circumstances and then inquire about likely consequences. You should convince her to make her own decisions for the very dilemma. It is okay even if you do not see things the same way; at least now your daughter has a feeling of control over her life.

Do not let her accomplish by magnitude, creates trouble
Try to make your daughter toil and excel at one thing at a time. Do not become hasty in trying to make them into little mechanical multi-taskers. Yes, this is an extremely competitive world and the motto of survival of the fittest is “the thing” to follow. But give your daughter some space and let her follow her own interests. You are there to guide her of course. Do not register her in infinite activities like dramatics, soccer, art, music etc. the belief that self worth is acquired by who you are and not what you achieve.

Make your daughter work together with other girls
If your daughter works jointly with other a girl of her school and solves her predicaments together, she will excel later in taking big risks and tackle many trials and tribulations in life. Working together makes them have an unbelievable sense of achievement and feeling of proficiency. All this is good for your daughter and good for you in the long run. So the bottom-line is inspire your daughter to take part in team-building activities where everyone works cooperatively to provide solutions to their problems.

Let your daughter be aware of the fact that you love her because of who she is
Do not be over fixated about everything your daughter does. She needs her own space just like you do as a mother. Keep encouraging her to have good habits but never obsess about it too much. It is alright if she takes her own time, everything does not happen overnight. But, show a positive reception for her individuality. Do not keep cribbing about her weight or her looks as she first needs to recognize her inner self. You need to deflate the thought that beauty is just about your appearance. Over obsession about the physical appearance will definitely lead to a lot of insecurities in your daughter’s life.

So, remember this rearing a girl up can be very thrilling and stimulating. Both of you can work it out together and enjoy so many things together. Maintain this bond even when she grows older. She will appreciate it for sure and you will always cherish it forever.

About the author: Alia Haley is a blogger and writer. She loves writing on topics related to wedding, health and luxury. Beside this she is fond of bags. She recently shared an article on designer baby clothes. These days she is busy in writing an article on Teeth whitening kits.

Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today’s teenagers.

Cross Creek, Horizon Academy, Red River Academy, Teen Help or Not?

2012-01-21T05:36:00.000-08:00

What, are you second guessing yourself? Were you desperate - about to make a quick decision? Suddenly decided let me make one more Internet search.... Yes, it can be that last search that leads you to what you need to know... Remember, you are investing in your child's future - not just buying a car here.

So, your teen is driving your crazy. You are at your wit’s end. You have finally decided you need outside help. You have exhausted all your local resources. Local therapy doesn’t help, heck, you can’t even get your teen to attend. Your teen is failing in school, he/she is very smart yet doesn’t want to attend school and believe they know it all. Many say, “typical teen“, but as a parent, we know it is more than that.
Where did our good kid go? Good kids making bad choices – and they don’t need to be placed in an environment that will make them worse in my opinion – learn from what happened to me!

As a victim of the WWASPS organization – I am often called or receive many emails about our (my daughter and I) experiences with them. Obviously not pleasant. Though I am happy to say the program she was at, Carolina Springs Academy, which attempted to go through a name change to Magnolia Christian Academy (or School) depending on the day you Googled it, is finally closed – it has been rumored some of the staff is now at their affiliate program – Red River Academy. Maybe some at Cross Cross in Utah – or even Horizon Academy both in Southern Utah and Nevada.

Let me be clear for legal purposes – these are rumors – but if I were placing my child in program, I personally wouldn’t take any chances – and furthermore, Red River Academy and Cross Creek are clearly named in the current lawsuit which is extremely disturbing with allegations of fraud, abuse, neglect and much more – (click here) that is current.

Then we come to Horizon Academy. Another alleged WWASPS facility. Why say alleged? Maybe they will deny they are affiliated – yet look at their staff, again, you will see they were once employed at other WWASPS programs. Jade Robinson was at the program in Mexico (named in that lawsuit with alleged abuse and neglect) Casa By the Sea, then went on to Bell Academy, which didn’t last long, and I assume is trying to continue at Horizon Academy.

So when the “sales rep” tells you that “Sue Scheff” is a disgruntled parent – I say – YES, I was – you put my daughter in a box for 17 hours, she was mentally and emotionally abused – food and sleep deprived – I was complete defrauded – and she also missed out on 6 months of education. None of which I had signed up for. Grant it, this was 10 years ago – a lot has changed – but those original owners haven’t – so in my humble opinion – I wouldn’t trust any of their programs with my pets….. BTW: I am the only parent to have defeated WWASPS in a jury trial.

Most of the other (many) lawsuits have settled out of court with silence agreements. I don’t have one, which is why I can still share my story – which is why I get slimed online – which is why their sales reps have all sorts of stories about me – including “the jury made a mistake” – neglecting to tell you I won the appellate court too. No one condones child abuse – period.

I have been called a crusader (and not in a flattering way) though I take it that way. I have made it my mission to find the better programs and schools, since I do know what it is like to be at your wit’s end. I know what parents need help. I am not against residential therapy, which brings us to many of my stalkers that were formally abused in programs that believe all programs should be closed down. That is being extreme – they are not a parent trying to save their child’s life and future.

I will share with you that there are more safe and quality programs than there are bad ones – it is just about doing your homework and research. Today you are more fortunate than I was – you have more access to information and you can learn from my mistakes and my knowledge.

Please – take another 10 minutes to read my story and see the list of programs that are and were once affiliated with Carolina Springs Academy – and from there, you make your own choices for your child.
I had one parent that almost went to Red River Academy that actually said the sales rep said they could have their teen “extracted” within a few hours? Extracted? Really – is your child a tooth? Please don’t get rushed into a quick decision – this is a major emotional and financial decision.

My organization is Parents’ Universal Resource Experts – and no matter what those “sales reps” or the Internet fiction – I don’t own, operate or manage any schools or programs! We are about educating parents when they are looking for help for their at risk teen…. Don’t get scammed when you are at your wit’s end.
Oh – and when these “sales reps” send out these defamatory links about me – another FACT they neglect to tell you is I won the landmark case for Internet Defamation that awarded me $11.3M in damages for what was said about me online! Lies and twisted facts! Here is my recent appearance on Anderson Cooper.

This is strictly my opinion on my own experiences – you are free to make your choices…

Teen Jobs: 5 Reasons Teens Should Get a Job

2012-01-13T13:32:00.000-08:00

Today more and more teens have a sense of entitlement.

With shows like “My Super Sweet 16” that glorify teens have extravagant lives and demanding over the top birthday parties we’ve become inundated with the idea that our teens need to be pampered and spoiled beyond reason. This mindset has led to teens believing that they deserve the most expensive clothes, cars, and cell phones, and that these things should just be handed to them on demand. The reality of it, though, is that our teenagers should be learning the importance of working hard for what they want, and one way to impart this lesson and have them reap the benefits of it is by having them work a part-time job. There are numerous lessons and values teens will learn from working:

1.     Time management: Having to balance school and work will teach teens early on the importance of prioritizing responsibilities and managing their time. The sooner they learn how to do this the better off they’ll be when they leave for college and eventually branch out into the real world of full-time jobs and responsibilities.
2.     Help build a resume: Being able to list work experience on a resume will help your teen get ahead of the crowd when it comes time to apply for college or find a full-time job. It will show prospective colleges and employers that your teen is a motivated, hard-working individual and will set them above the people who have no prior work experience.
3.     Financial independence: There’s a certain satisfaction that is brought about by being able to buy something you want with your own hard-earned money, and having a job that brings in a paycheck will allow teens to learn how to effectively manage their money and rely on themselves and not their parents for different purchases. Learning to manage money is a life skill that everyone needs to have, so learning it early on will only benefit your teenager.
4.     Develop indispensable life skills: Your teen will learn very quickly the importance of working as a team and having solid communication skills, two talents that are transferrable into almost any industry or experience. The experiences that they have, both good and bad, from a part-time job will help them to become better-rounded as an individual.
5.     Learn the value of hard work: Unfortunately hard work is becoming more under-valued these days, especially with teens, and it’s important to teach our kids that hard work is a trait to be admired and respected. Learning to work for what you want is an advantageous tool to have.
While your teens may complain about having to get a job initially, it’s likely that they’ll end up thanking you for it in the long run. The lessons they’ll learn from having to work a part-time job are irreplaceable.

Author Bio
Heather Smith is an ex-nanny. Passionate about thought leadership and writing, Heather regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and parenting blogs/websites. She also provides value to nanny service by giving advice on site design as well as the features and functionality to provide more and more value to nannies and families across the U.S. and Canada. She can be available at H.smith7295 [at] gmail.com.

Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today's teenagers.

Tough love is not an option: It is a choice to get your teen help!

2012-01-06T13:44:00.000-08:00

Many cannot understand or grasp the concept of, Tough love or "not enabling" the child to ruin or run the family unit. Enduring life with a teen that is running the home can result in many uproars, conflicts, arguments, battles, and sometimes psychical and verbal abuse. Tough love is exactly that: Tough. Loving our children is unconditional, but we don't have to like what they are doing or how they are destroying their lives.

There will come a time when a parent realizes enough is enough! This is the time that they need the support from outside sources, such as a Tough Love support groups (if you can find them and if you believe in their philosophy), along with professional intervention. This does not reflect you as a parent, nor does it place blame on the family, it is the child that is making the bad choices and the family is suffering from it.

Many times tough love is simply letting go. Let the child make their mistakes and they will either learn from them or suffer the consequences. Unfortunately depending on the situation, it is not always feasible to wait until the last minute to intervene. If you see that Tough love is not working at home, it may be time to consider residential placement (placement outside the home).

Quality Residential placements work with the entire family. Once the child is safely removed from the family, everyone is able to concentrate on the issues calmly and rationally. Tough love can mean finding the most appropriate setting outside of the home for your child.

While in the whirlwind of confusion, frustration and stress that the child is causing, it is hard to see the actual problem or problems. With time and distance, the healing starts to occur. Tough love is a very painful and stressful avenue, however in many families, very necessary and very rewarding.

Tough love if used correctly can be helpful. However if you are the type to give in at the end, all the hard work of standing your ground will be for nothing. Actually, your weakness or giving in could result in deeper and more serious problems. Please confer with professionals or outside help if you feel you are not able to follow through with what you are telling your child you will do.

Don't be ashamed to ask for help, you are certainly not alone.

Learn more about quality residential therapy at www.helpyourteens.com.

As far as Tough Love Support Groups, I am not familiar with any groups that are still operating today. Years ago it there an organization by that name, however I understand they disbanded. Personally I was never a fan of them - since I know that many parents could never just abandon a child. I understand the concept - and I do know that loving our child to death is not an option, but there are choices out there, and residential therapy is one of them. If your child is a young adult, it is a different scenario and again, there are ways to handle it.

Red River Academy - Teen Help Program - Not Really - IMO

2011-12-31T06:31:00.000-08:00

So, your teen is driving your crazy. You are at your wit's end. You have finally decided you need outside help. You have exhausted all your local resources. Local therapy doesn't help, heck, you can't even get your teen to attend. Your teen is failing in school, he/she is very smart yet doesn't want to attend school and believe they know it all. Many say, "typical teen", but as a parent, we know it is more than that.

Where did our good kid go? Good kids making bad choices - and they don't need to be placed in an environment that will make them worse in my opinion - learn from what happened to me!

As a victim of the WWASPS organization - I am often called or receive many emails about our (my daughter and I) experiences with them. Obviously not pleasant. Though I am happy to say the program she was at, Carolina Springs Academy, which attempted to go through a name change to Magnolia Christian Academy (or School) depending on the day you Googled it, is finally closed - it has been rumored some of the staff is now at their affiliate program - Red River Academy or Horizon Academy.

Let me be clear for legal purposes - these are rumors - but if I were placing my child in program, I personally wouldn't take any chances - and furthermore, Red River Academy is clearly named in the current lawsuit which is extremely disturbing with allegations of fraud, abuse, neglect and much more - (click here) that is current.

So when the "sales rep" tells you that "Sue Scheff" is a disgruntled parent - I say - YES, I was - you put my daughter in a box for 17 hours, she was mentally and emotionally abused - food and sleep deprived - I was complete defrauded - and she also missed out on 6 months of education. None of which I had signed up for. Grant it, this was 10 years ago - a lot has changed - but those original owners haven't - so in my humble opinion - I wouldn't trust any of their programs with my pets..... BTW: I am the only parent to have defeated WWASPS in a jury trial. Most of the other (many) lawsuits have settled out of court with silence agreements. I don't have one, which is why I can still share my story - which is why I get slimed online - which is why their sales reps have all sorts of stories about me - including "the jury made a mistake" - neglecting to tell you I won the appellate court too. No one condones child abuse - period.

I have been called a crusader (and not in a flattering way) though I take it that way. I have made it my mission to find the better programs and schools, since I do know what it is like to be at your wit's end. I know what parents need help. I am not against residential therapy, which brings us to many of my stalkers that were formally abused in programs that believe all programs should be closed down. That is being extreme - they are not a parent trying to save their child's life and future.

I will share with you that there are more safe and quality programs than there are bad ones - it is just about doing your homework and research. Today you are more fortunate than I was - you have more access to information and you can learn from my mistakes and my knowledge.

Please - take 10 minutes to read my story and see the list of programs that are and were once affiliated with Carolina Springs Academy - and from there, you make your own choices for your child.

I had one parent that almost went to Red River Academy that actually said the sales rep said they could have their teen "extracted" within a few hours? Extracted? Really - is your child a tooth? Please don't get rushed into a quick decision - this is a major emotional and financial decision.

My organization is Parents' Universal Resource Experts - and no matter what those "sales reps" or the Internet fiction - I don't own, operate or manage any schools or programs! We are about educating parents when they are looking for help for their at risk teen.... Don't get scammed when you are at your wit's end.

Oh – and when these “sales reps” send out these defamatory links about me – another FACT they neglect to tell you is I won the landmark case for Internet Defamation that awarded me $11.3M in damages for what was said about me online! Lies and twisted facts! Here is my recent appearance on Anderson Cooper.

This is strictly my opinion on my own experiences - you are free to make your choices....

Sexting, texting and your teens

2011-12-24T07:54:00.000-08:00

Online safety of teens and kids of all ages is a priority as well as cell phone safety. This brings us to a very hot topic which a guest writer has asked me to post his recent article to help parents understand how important it is to understand what sexting is and how they can take steps to help keep their children safe virtually.

Sexting has become a recent trend with mobile users, as nearly 40% of teens reporting sexting at least once or consistently. Sexting is when one person sends a nude, or sexually suggestive picture/text of themselves to another person or a group. The consequences of sexting range from nothing, to serious. For parents, the worries are real and dangerous.

Child Pornography

The primary concern for parents is sexting that involves suggestive photos, especially nudes. Several teens have been charged with ownership of child pornography. That’s because even if two students under age 18 are dating, possession of nude photos of individuals under the age of 18 constitutes child pornography. In some cases, teens who have snapped pictures of themselves have been charged with “manufacturing, disseminating or possessing child pornography.” Those receiving the pictures have faced, and been sentenced, to charges of possession. Convictions lead to life-long registration on sexual offender lists.

Digital World

Once the pictures have been taken, parents have more issues to worry about, namely digital records. After pictures have been taken digitally, they immediately enter a digital world where they can become permanent. One person can send the picture to another and so on until it’s been shared across the digital world. It can all start with one phone. With chat rooms and other websites, it’s easy for pedophiles and other predators to misrepresent age, sex, and location. Teens and kids are constantly connected to the web. Not only can those pictures make their way to illegal websites, they can also make their way to strangers.

Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, and other social media sites are like online directories for everyone and anyone. It can be easy anyone to assume a false identity. With a couple clicks on the phone, a picture gets into the hands of the wrong person.

Psychological Factors

There are many reasons why teens take part in sexting and most of them are a new take on the old world of flirting and courting. Many teens send the texts as flirtatious messages, to boost popularity, or because of peer pressure. They can also include forms of sexual harassment, or bullying.

The ramifications for of this are undocumented in terms of sexting, but the potential psychological issues of self-esteem are wide and concerning. Adolescents and teens are entering a stage of life where body-image and self-esteem are developing. Bullying, harassment, and derogatory comments can degrade and damage morale. The effects of this can last for years or decades.

By sexting, teens put their bodies out there to be judged and critiqued. While their bodies may be healthy, teens use any chances to tease or insult another, especially if it means a chance to elevate themselves in a social clique, or in popularity. The self-esteem issues created by pictures, or suggestive language, being misconstrued, getting into unwanted hands or from unwarranted comments, can devastate teens and lead to suicide.

Cautionary Steps

Beyond eliminating and forbidding the use of all digital devices, there are other measures that parents can take to protect their teens.

The first is establishing a good relationship. Studies consistently show that parents who foster good relationships with their children have more influence on them than the media or peer pressure.
A strong relationship makes it easier for parents to approach kids about sexting and its consequences. Being honest with children about the potential legal consequences, psychological factors, and personal ethics and morals behind sexting is a good way to help them understand its seriousness.

To instill that seriousness, parents should monitor their child’s activities and friends. Much of sexting in teenagers is caused by peer pressure or social interactions. Supporting them in making the right decisions, and spending less time from those who are sexting, may be the best way to keep them safe.

Special contributor: Steven Farrell is the administrator of ReversePhoneLookup.org, the best reverse phone directory online.

Higher Education or Higher Higher Education - That is the Question

2011-12-17T08:55:00.000-08:00

With an economy that is strapped financially for many families, more students are delaying their education. What exactly does this mean? Here is an excellent guest post that can fill this gap for you.

In today’s job market, many people are questioning whether there will be a job available for them if they continue their education and seek a graduate degree.

While graduate degrees in certain industries can contribute to your ability to find employment, they are certainly not a guarantee of success. Often, the qualities that contribute to success are present regardless of your educational background, a degree will simply add to the skills and knowledge you have available.

Advantages and Disadvantages of Earning a Graduate Degree

There are numerous advantages to earning a graduate degree. Often, a graduate degree allows you the opportunity to learn about the application of theories learned in undergraduate degree programs. For example, many MBA programs require you to create and operate a mock business, including developing a business plan, operating budget and managing employees.

Another advantage to earning an advanced degree is that graduate programs require you to learn strategic planning and how to implement those plans. Regardless of the focus of your degree, graduate programs expect a higher level of responsibility and aptitude from their students. Thus, potential employers seeking applicants with advanced degrees generally have higher expectations of those prospective employees, simply because they understand the rigors of earning a master’s degree.

Participating in a graduate degree program also provides you with the opportunity to network within your field or industry. Many advanced degree and PhD programs are taught by instructors with real world experience and you can network with fellow students to learn about potential employment opportunities as you move toward graduation.

The primary disadvantage of earning an advanced degree is the added debt you may incur. While attending school may delay the need to look for a job in a dismal job market, there is no guarantee that you will be able to find employment once you have completed your degree program. With the majority of graduate students taking on student loans to complete their studies, the debt can be an added financial burden if the job market continues its downward trend and does not improve by the time you complete your degree. Additionally, if your chosen field is not one that traditionally provides significant compensation, the time and money invested in an advanced degree may be questionable.

Graduate Degrees in Demand

According to Forbes Magazine, success with an advance degree largely depends on what you value most: high salary or job satisfaction. Of the degrees outlined in a recent article about advanced degrees and the job market, Forbes found that the most lucrative graduate degrees were in medicine and business.
Regardless of your undergraduate degree, you can earn a master’s degree as a physician’s assistant within two years, and the process only requires a few science courses in preparation for the graduate course work. The job market for physician’s assistants has remained strong throughout the current economic downturn and is anticipated to continue to be strong in the coming decade.

If your interests are more along the lines of business, then consider earning an MBA. According to Forbes, an individual earning an MBA can expect to earn in the high five figures. Forbes also mentions that the focus of your graduate degree can have a large impact on earnings. For example, individuals with an MBA in finance earn far more than those with an MBA in accounting.

By contrast, graduate degrees that are necessary for many career paths usually do not offer high earning potential. Teachers are often required to have a master’s degree in education, but they earn far less than individuals with an MBA. The same is true for careers in social work. While these positions can be very gratifying and rewarding, the jobs forecast for employment in these fields is limited.

Ultimately success is largely determined by your own definition of what the term means for you. If you are determined to achieve your own personal definition of success, then you probably have the qualities to reach your goals, regardless of your educational background.

Bio: Brittany Lyons aspires a life in teaching, but decided to take some time off from grad school to help people learn to navigate the academic lifestyle. She currently lives in Spokane, Washington, where she spends her time reading science fiction and walking her dog.

Troubled Teens: Finding Help You Can Trust

2011-12-11T11:58:00.000-08:00

Especially during the holiday season, this can be one of the hardest decisions a parent can make.

Sending a child to a residential program/school is a major decision. It is not one to be taken lightly or to be decided on overnight.

Usually a teen's behavior has been slowly escalating and a parent knows that deep down things are not getting better. As much as you hope and pray that things will change, this is only typical teen behavior, sometimes it just isn't.

With drug use and substance abuse rising - more dangerous and deadly ingredients being used, such as spice and inhalants, parents have reason to be concerned. It isn't your marijuana of generations prior - it is so much worse and in many cases - addictive and deadly.

If you have reached your wit's end and now surfing the Internet for help, remember, anyone can build a website. Anyone can put up nice pictures and create great content. You need to do your due diligence.

Years ago I struggled with my own teenager. I was at my wit's end. I didn't realize what a big business this "teen help industry" was. Yes, my child needed help, but what we received was anything but that. My story is a cautionary tale - not one to scare you into not using a program, however on the contrary, you have to get your child help, but you have to do your research in getting them the right help.

Here are some quick tips:

Your child is not for sale, try to avoid those marketing arms selling you a list of programs that are not in the best interest of your child's individual needs.
Always speak with an owner or director - Someone that has a vested in your teen's recovery. Their reputation is on the line.
Wilderness and other short term programs are usually nothing more than a band-aid that will fall off as quickly as the program lasted. They are expensive camping trips and in most cases the Wilderness program will tell you at about 4 weeks that your teen will need to continue on to a longer term program. What? Yes, now you go back to the research board and worse than that, your teen will be deflated when he finds out he/she isn't coming home in 6-9 weeks as they were lead to believe - and they will be starting all over again with a new therapist - new schedule - and new setting. Don't get caught up in this "shuffle." Start and finish with the same school/program.
The average stay should be about 6-9-12 months, depending on your teen. Anything less is probably non-effective. Anything more, you may be creating abandonment issues in my opinion.
Do you really need an Educational Consultant? Absolutely not. You are the parent and no one knows your teen better than you do - with a few tips, you will be able to make some sound choices.

For more helpful hint and tips, please contact www.HelpYourTeens.com for a free consultation. After the ordeal I went through, I created this advocacy organization to help educate parents on finding safe and quality programs.

Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today's teenagers.

Teen Runaways - A parents nightmare

2011-12-02T11:28:00.000-08:00

Holidays can be a time of joy and a time of turbulence in some households. Is your teen starting to become withdrawn? Hanging with a different group of friends? Do you suspect he/she is using drugs or drinking?

Are they leaving your home and not coming home? Do they think they know it all?

Unfortunately some parents experience this type of teen behavior and it can escalate during the holidays when they have more free time.

The authorities all but tell you (or they do tell you) “typical teen” they will show up eventually. In the meantime you are a nervous wreck.

What do you do? Here are some quick tips for you:

Keep an updated phone list with the home and cell numbers of your teen’s friends. Using the phone list, call every one of your teen’s friends. Talk immediately with their parents, not their friends, as teenagers will often stick together and lie for each other. The parent will tell you anything they know, including the last time contact was made between their child and yours. They will also know to keep closer tabs on their own child.
Keep an updated photo of your child on hands at all times. With this photo, create one-page flyers including all information about your teen and where they were last seen. Post these flyers everywhere your teen hangs out, as well as anywhere else teenagers in general hang out. Post anywhere they will allow you to.
Immediately contact your local police. It is advised that you actually visit the office with a copy of the flyer as well as a good number of color photos of your teen. Speak clearly and act rationally, but make sure that they understand how serious the situation is.
Contact the local paper in order to run a missing ad. Also, contact any other printed media available in your area; many will be very willing to help.
Contact your local television stations, as well as those in nearby counties. Most stations will be more than happy to run an alert either in the newscast or through the scrolling alert at the bottom of the screen.

Be sure to contact National Runaway Switchboard and if you need residential therapy, please contact Parents’ Universal Resource Experts.

Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today’s teenagers.

Teacher's Bullying Students: Is Your Child a Victim?

2011-11-27T08:45:00.000-08:00

Bullying—for years it has been the reason for fake illnesses, the mysterious need for extra lunch money, and more recently the tragic motive behind some suicides. Bullying is a serious issue. No wonder a whole month is dedicated to shedding some light on the issue. But while most energy and time is spent lecturing students about bullying, recent headlines prove teachers could actually benefit from a good lecture or two themselves.

From the teacher who was caught on tape taunting a special-needs student, to the teacher who was filmed unloading on a student and saying "I will kick your a** from here to kingdom come," to the coach who told one of his basketball players he was destined to become a future welfare recipient, it's evident that teachers can be bullies too. In fact, according to research, 2% of all children are harassed by their teachers at least once during their academic careers.

It's not certain why some teachers choose to abuse their authoritative power and belittle/humiliate their students in class, but it happens more frequently than parents would like to believe. And since teachers are older, stronger, and seen as "scarier," the effects a bully teacher has on your child may be much worse than a bully his or her age. Don't let your child be a victim. Follow these tips below to learn how to handle these sorts of situations.

1. Talk to Your Kid About School. Whether it's immediately after picking up your child from football practice, at the dinner table, or when casually watching TV together, always try to ask about your child's day at school. Some children are more open about the good and bad days and will tell you if they've been harassed by a teacher; others will try to keep it all in. If your child happens to do the latter, try to pick up on cues that your child may be distressed.
Encourage them to openly talk with you but don't try to push too hard. If you finally catch wind that your child's teacher is the problem, assure your child you will resolve the issue. * Note: While some children may be more than happy for you to take charge and get involved, others may beg you not to. Assure your child that you will handle it in a tasteful manner, but verbal abuse is never ok and you cannot let their teacher's behavior carry on.
2. Set up a Personal Meeting With the Teacher. Your next step would be to set up a private meeting strictly between you and the teacher. While you may be heated, it may be wise not to start the conversation too aggressively (don't confront the teacher right off the bat). Instead, try a different approach. Comment on how you've noticed your child seems to feel really anxious and stressed about coming to his or her class lately and see how the teacher reacts. Do they seem uneasy?
Listen to the teacher's explanation of why he or she thinks your child now has this odd behavior. If you don't like the answer, then you can take your complaint to a higher figure such as a principal. *Whatever the case, try to keep your composure (no threatening), and make sure you keep written documentation of what was said during every encounter you've had with school staff and administrators.
3. Make a Complaint with the Superintendent.Lastly, if the principal does not resolve the issue, then go straight to the head honcho—the district's superintendent. He or she should definitely be able to accommodate you and take the matter seriously. If the issue still remains, then consider transferring your child to a different school and file an official complaint with the state licensing board—there is no reason the teacher should be able to continue to educate (and possibly bully) other children.

Byline:
This is a guest post from Jacelyn Thomas. Jacelyn writes about identity theft prevention for IdentityTheft.net. She can be reached at: jacelyn.thomas@ gmail.com.

Thank you for this special contribution by Jacelyn Thomas.

Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today's teenagers.

Teen Pregnancy: November 19th is National Adoption Day

2011-11-18T12:07:00.000-08:00

Most people are well aware that being a parent is not easy, however being a teenage parent can be twice as hard. The ability to finish school decreases, finances are strained and your body is changing rapidly.

16 and Pregnant along with Teen Moms give you an inside look at how hard it is being a teen parent. The reality of these reality shows is real! Most teens are not ready to be a mother, they are not mature enough to understand the responsibility nor are many financially ready.

This doesn't mean that you can't have a child, there are options. This is not a political article, nor is it judgmental, it is only to bring about the awareness of options for pregnant teens.

Adoption is not about giving your child away, it is about loving your child enough to know that you aren't able to give he/she the life another family could offer. With today's latest adoption services, there are many choices. Some include the teen being part of the child's life, as in an open adoption.

November 19th is National Adoption Day

National Adoption Day is a national day of celebration of adoptive families and an opportunity for courts to open their doors and finalize the adoptions of children from foster care. Since 2000, more than 35,000 children have had their adoptions finalized on National Adoption Day.

On November 19, 2011, families, adoption advocates, policymakers, judges and volunteers will come together and celebrate adoption in communities large and small all across the nation.

The One Day Project was created by the National Adoption Day Coalition to share with the thousands of waiting children what this one day is like, and what it means to find their forever family. Watch this video to see how this one day has changed actor Willie Garson’s life, and the lives of thousands of children waiting in foster care.

Learn more - click here.

Teen Drugs, the risks, the dangers and how you can help prevent teen drug abuse

2011-11-12T07:54:00.000-08:00

Parents and teachers today need to know as much as they can about street drugs and substances that our kids are exposed to. NIDA has an extensive and informative website that educates us - and will give you insights to keep our communities as drug-free as possible. First we have to know what we are up against.

Anabolic Steroids—Hand out this "damage diagram" activity and help kids understand the big picture about steroids' side effects.
Brain & Addiction—Try this activity to get the brain going and the discussion flowing.
Ecstasy—Find out how much your students know or don't know about ecstasy. Have them try this quiz.
HIV, AIDS, and Drug Abuse—Teach your children/students the connection between drugs and HIV infection.
Inhalants—Students will learn how the chemicals in inhalants can change how the brain and body work by finding their match.
Marijuana—A friend on "weed" is a friend in need-of your kids' knowledge. Download and discuss this email-writing activity.
Prescription Drug Abuse—Have your students take this quiz to learn more about the dangers of prescription drug abuse.
Stimulants—Help your children/students better understand the symptoms and consequences of stimulant abuse by having them fill in the missing blanks of this diagnostic report.
Tobacco Addiction—Try this matching activity in class to help kids understand nicotine's causes and effects.
Mind Over Matter—This series is designed to encourage young people in grades five through nine to learn about the effects of drug abuse on the body and the brain.
Mind Over Matter Teacher's Guide—Use this Teacher's Guide in conjunction with the Mind Over Matter magazine series to promote an understanding of the physical reality of drug use, as well as curiosity about neuroscience.

Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today's teenagers.

Inhalants: Dangerous and deadly

2011-11-07T07:57:00.000-08:00

What are Inhalants?

If you’ve ever come across a smelly marker, you’ve experienced an inhalant. They seem harmless, but they can actually be quite dangerous. Inhalants are chemical vapors that people inhale on purpose to get “high.” The vapors produce mind-altering, and sometimes disastrous, effects.

These vapors are in a variety of products common in almost any home or workplace. Examples are some paints, glues, gasoline, and cleaning fluids. Many people do not think of these products as drugs because they were never meant to be used to achieve an intoxicating effect. But when they are intentionally inhaled to produce a “high,” they can cause serious harm.

Although inhalants differ in their effects, they generally fall into the following categories:
Volatile Solvents, liquids that vaporize at room temperature, present in:

Certain industrial or household products, such as paint thinner, nail polish remover, degreaser, dry-cleaning fluid, gasoline, and contact cement
Some art or office supplies, such as correction fluid, felt-tip marker fluid, and electronic contact cleaner

Aerosols, sprays that contain propellants and solvents, include:

Spray paint, hair spray, deodorant spray, vegetable oil sprays, and fabric protector spray

Gases, which may be in household or commercial products, or used as medical anesthetics, such as in:

Butane lighters, propane tanks, whipped cream dispensers, and refrigerant gases
Anesthesia, including ether, chloroform, halothane, and nitrous oxide

Nitrites are a class of inhalants used primarily as sexual enhancers. Organic nitrites include amyl, butyl, and cyclohexyl nitrites and other related compounds. Amyl nitrite was used in the past by doctors to alleviate chest pain and is sometimes used today for diagnostic purposes in heart examinations. When marketed for illicit use, these nitrites are often sold in small brown bottles and labeled as "video head cleaner," "room odorizer," "leather cleaner," or "liquid aroma."

What Are the Common Street Names?

Common slang for inhalants includes "laughing gas" (nitrous oxide), "snappers" (amyl nitrite), "poppers" (amyl nitrite and butyl nitrite), "whippets" (fluorinated hydrocarbons, found in whipped cream dispensers), "bold" (nitrites), and "rush" (nitrites).

Who Abuses Inhalants?

Inhalants are often among the first drugs that young adolescents abuse. In fact, they are one of the few classes of substances that are abused more by younger adolescents than older ones. Inhalant abuse can become chronic and continue into adulthood.

Data from national and state surveys suggest that inhalant abuse is most common among 7th through 9th graders. For example, in the Monitoring the Future study, an annual NIDA-supported survey of the Nation’s secondary school students, 8th graders regularly report the highest rate of current, past-year, and lifetime inhalant abuse compared to 10th and 12th graders. In 2010, 8 percent of 8th graders, 5.7 percent of 10th graders, and 3.6 percent of 12th graders reported abusing inhalants in the year prior to the survey. One of the problems is that, according to the 2010 survey, 39 percent of 8th graders don’t consider the regular use of inhalants to be harmful, and 64 percent don’t think trying inhalants once or twice is risky. Young teens may not understand the risks of inhalant use as well as they should.

How Are They Abused?

People who abuse inhalants breathe in the vapors through their nose or mouth, usually in one of these ways:

"Sniffing" or "snorting" fumes from containers
Spraying aerosols directly into the nose or mouth
Sniffing or inhaling fumes from substances sprayed or placed into a plastic or paper bag ("bagging")
"Huffing" from an inhalant-soaked rag stuffed in the mouth
Inhaling from balloons filled with nitrous oxide

Because the intoxication, or “high,” lasts only a few minutes, people who abuse inhalants often try to make the feeling last longer by inhaling repeatedly over several hours.

Need help? Visit www.HelpYourTeens.com.

Source: NIDA

Smoke a joint, pop a pill, what is next? Teen drug use

2011-11-02T10:13:00.000-07:00

Do you suspect your teen is using drugs? It's only pot? Really?

IT’S NOT JUST POT ANYMORE!

When parents share with me that their teen is “only smoking pot” I am dumbfounded that they don’t realize the risk of this statement. Although many don’t like the term, “gateway drug”, it can be absolutely true.
Marijuana is not what it was in the sixty’s. The chances of it being laced with higher levels of PCP or other ingredients that can cause addiction are very good. Don’t be a parent in denial!

What Is It?

Marijuana is a mixture of the dried and shredded leaves, stems, seeds, and flowers of the cannabis sativa plant. The mixture can be green, brown, or gray.
A bunch of leaves seem harmless, right? But think again. Marijuana has a chemical in it called delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol, better known as THC. A lot of other chemicals are found in marijuana, too—about 400 of them, many of which could affect your health. But THC is the main psychoactive (i.e., mind altering) ingredient. In fact, marijuana’s strength or potency is related to the amount of THC it contains. The THC content of marijuana has been increasing since the 1970s. For the year 2007, estimates from confiscated marijuana indicated that it contains almost 10 percent THC, on average.

What Are the Common Street Names?

There are many slang terms for marijuana that vary from city to city and from neighborhood to neighborhood. Some common names are: “pot,” “grass,” “herb,” “weed,” “Mary Jane,” “reefer,” “skunk,” “boom,” “gangster,” “kif,” “chronic,” and “ganja.”

How Is It Used?

Marijuana is used in many ways. The most common method is smoking loose marijuana rolled into a cigarette called a “joint” or “nail.” Sometimes marijuana is smoked through a water pipe called a “bong.” Others smoke “blunts”—cigars hollowed out and filled with the drug. And some users brew it as tea or mix it with food.

How Many Teens Use Marijuana?

Some people mistakenly believe that “everybody’s doing it” and use that as an excuse to start using marijuana themselves. Well, they need to check the facts, because that’s just not true. According to NIDA’s 2010 Monitoring the Future study, about 8 percent of 8th graders, 17 percent of 10th graders, and 21 percent of 12th graders had used marijuana in the month before the survey. In fact, marijuana use declined from the late 1990s through 2007, with a decrease in past-year use of more than 20 percent in all three grades combined from 2000 to 2007. Unfortunately, this trend appears to be slowing, and use may even be increasing.

Between 2009 and 2010 daily marijuana use increased among 8th, 10th, and 12th graders. In 2010, 6 percent of 12th graders reported using marijuana daily, compared to 5.2 percent in 2009.

What Are the Short-Term Effects of Marijuana Use?

For some people, smoking marijuana makes them feel good. Within minutes of inhaling, a user begins to feel “high,” or filled with pleasant sensations. THC triggers brain cells to release the chemical dopamine. Dopamine creates good feelings—for a short time. But that’s just one effect…
Imagine this: You’re in a ball game, playing out in left field. An easy fly ball comes your way, and you’re psyched. When that ball lands in your glove your team will win, and you’ll be a hero. But, you’re a little off. The ball grazes your glove and hits the dirt. So much for your dreams of glory.

Such loss of coordination can be caused by smoking marijuana. And that’s just one of its many negative effects. Marijuana affects memory, judgment, and perception. Under the influence of marijuana, you could fail to remember things you just learned, watch your grade point average drop, or crash a car.

Also, since marijuana can affect judgment and decision making, using it can cause you to do things you might not do when you are thinking straight—such as engaging in risky sexual behavior, which can result in exposure to sexually transmitted diseases, like HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, or getting in a car with someone who’s been drinking or is high on marijuana.

It’s also difficult to know how marijuana will affect a specific person at any given time, because its effects vary based on individual factors: a person’s genetics, whether they’ve used marijuana or any other drugs before, how much marijuana is taken, and its potency. Effects can also be unpredictable when marijuana is used in combination with other drugs.

THC Affects Brain Functioning

THC is up to no good in the brain. THC finds brain cells, or neurons, with specific kinds of receptors called cannabinoid receptors and binds to them.

Certain parts of the brain have high concentrations of cannabinoid receptors. These areas are the hippocampus, the cerebellum, the basal ganglia, and the cerebral cortex. The functions that these brain areas control are the ones most affected by marijuana.

For example, THC interferes with learning and memory—that is because the hippocampus—a part of the brain with a funny name and a big job—plays a critical role in certain types of learning. Disrupting its normal functioning can lead to problems studying, learning new things, and recalling recent events. The difficulty can be a lot more serious than forgetting if you took out the trash this morning, which happens to everyone once in a while.

Do these effects persist? We don’t know for sure, but as adolescents your brains are still developing. So is it really worth the risk?

Smoking Marijuana Can Make Driving Dangerous

The cerebellum is the section of our brain that controls balance and coordination. When THC affects the cerebellum’s function, it makes scoring a goal in soccer or hitting a home run pretty tough. THC also affects the basal ganglia, another part of the brain that’s involved in movement control.

These THC effects can cause disaster on the road. Research shows that drivers on marijuana have slower reaction times, impaired judgment, and problems responding to signals and sounds. Studies conducted in a number of localities have found that approximately 4 to 14 percent of drivers who sustained injury or death in traffic accidents tested positive for THC.

Marijuana Use Increases Heart Rate

Within a few minutes after inhaling marijuana smoke, an individual’s heart begins beating more rapidly, the bronchial passages relax and become enlarged, and blood vessels in the eyes expand, making the eyes look red. The heart rate, normally 70 to 80 beats per minute, may increase by 20 to 50 beats per minute or, in some cases, even double. This effect can be greater if other drugs are taken with marijuana.

For more information on the long term effects – click here.

Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today’s teenagers.

Teen Drinking Prevention

2011-10-26T04:30:00.000-07:00

If you manage the health and well-being of 9- to 18-year-olds, this Guide is for you.

“Alcohol Screening and Brief Intervention for Youth: A Practitioner’s Guide” is designed to help health care professionals quickly identify youth at risk for alcohol-related problems. NIAAA developed the Guide and Pocket Guide in collaboration with the American Academy of Pediatrics, a team of underage drinking researchers and clinical specialists, and practicing health care professionals.

Why use this tool?

It can detect risk early: In contrast to other screens that focus on established alcohol problems, this early detection tool aims to help you prevent alcohol-related problems in your patients before they start or address them at an early stage.
It’s empirically based: The screening questions and risk scale, developed through primary survey research, are powerful predictors of current and future negative consequences of alcohol use.
It’s fast and versatile: The screen consists of just two questions, which can be incorporated easily into patient interviews or pre-visit screening tools across the care spectrum, from annual exams to urgent care.
It’s the first tool to include friends’ drinking: The “friends” question will help you identify patients at earlier stages of alcohol involvement and target advice to include the important risk of friends’ drinking.

Download or order the Guide and pocket guide.

You may also be interested in related resources to support you, your patients, and their families

Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today’s teenagers.

Prescription Drug Use and Teens: Lock Your Meds

2011-10-19T07:16:00.000-07:00

'I got my hair from my mom.'
'I got my eyes from my dad.'
'And my drugs from my grandma's medicine cabinet.'

More than 3.1 million teens ages 12 to 17 report abusing prescription drugs. Click here for guidelines for prescription drug abuse prevention and discuss them with your family and friends.

The target audience for Lock Your Meds™ is 20-80-year-old adults, with the primary focus on keeping prescription and over-the-counter pharmaceuticals away from drug abusers. Many adults may be unwitting suppliers and by making adults aware of the problem we can curb the abuse by others.

YOU HOLD THE KEY TO YOUR CHILD'S DRUG-FREE FUTURE

Review the following guidelines for prescription drug abuse prevention and discuss them with family & friends

LOCK YOUR MEDS
Prevent your children from abusing your own medication by securing your meds in places your child cannot access.
TAKE INVENTORY
Download your Home Medicine Inventory Card, write down the name and amount of medications you currently have and regularly check to see that nothing is missing.
EDUCATE YOURSELF & YOUR CHILDLearn about the most commonly abused types of prescription medications (pain relievers, sedatives, stimulants and tranquilizers). Then, communicate the dangers to your child regularly; once is not enough.
SET CLEAR RULES & MONITOR BEHAVIOR
Express your disapproval of using prescription drugs without a prescription. Monitor your child's behavior to ensure that the rules are being followed.
PASS IT ON
Share your knowledge, experience and support with the parents of your child's friends. Together, you can create a tipping point for change and raise safe, healthy and drug-free children.

Source: Informed Families of South Florida

Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens.

Do you have a teen that you suspect is using drugs? Have you exhausted all your local resources? Take the time to learn about residential therapy, visit www.HelpYourTeens.com. Each teen and family are unique, there are many teen help programs, knowing how to locate the one best for you can be a challenge, however Parents’ Universal Resource Experts in Broward County, can help, starting with a free consultation.

Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today's teenagers.

Teens Online: Do you know what they are doing or where they are surfing to?

2011-10-14T11:14:00.000-07:00

Where is your teen visiting - virtually?

October is National Cyber Safety Awareness Month (NCSAM).

Does your teen know more about technology than you do?

It is time to catch up and be proactive in keeping your kids safe both online and off.

When safety trumps privacy - be a parent in the know!

Teens have access to unprecedented amounts of technology, and the problem is, they usually know how to use it better than their parents. With sexting, cyberstalking, cyberbullying and internet predators in abundance, parents need to closely monitor what their teens are doing on the internet and beyond. The best way to do this is to use the newest technology available to spy on their teens. Kids may not appreciate it, but it’s important for parents to know what their teens are up to at this impressionable age when they don’t always make good decisions.

Here are 10 ways to use technology to spy on your teen.

Nanny cam – Originally used to monitor in-home caregivers, nanny cams can be used to spy on your teens as well. These hidden cameras can be installed in common household objects and placed strategically throughout your home. Parents of teens may consider putting one in their teen’s bedroom to make sure their child is not engaging in inappropriate behavior when they’re not home.
Facebook – Friend your teens on facebook to monitor what they’re posting on their facebook page. If you suspect they are blocking you from some of their postings, you could get sneaky and pose as someone else, such as another teen, to find out what they’re really up to.
Twitter – It’s also a good idea to follow your kids on Twitter to see what they’re tweeting about. Your teen will be more likely to be careful about what they tweet if they know you’re watching. This can help prevent inappropriate pictures being sent into cyberspace where they will live on forever.
Internet search history – Periodically check your teen’s internet search history on their computer to see what they looking at when they surf the web. Are they doing research for homework or just watching You Tube? Make sure you block any porn sights and check to see if the blocks are still in place. Teens will find ways to get around your parental controls, so hold them accountable if they do.
Email – While you’re at it, check on their email history too. Teens won’t like the fact that you’re doing this and will accuse you of invading their privacy. This is a legitimate concern, but so is your concern for their safety. Unless you know that they’re using the computer responsibly, they shouldn’t be allowed to use it unsupervised.
Computer monitor – If you want to know what your teen is doing on their computer and are concerned they will delete any information they don’t want you to see, you can install a monitor to keep track of their computer activity. These monitors can record every keystroke, websites visited, take screen snapshots and give you detailed reports. This is the best way to monitor chat rooms, email and any social networking your teen is engaging in.
Remote monitoring – The technology is also available to have these monitoring reports sent to your email so you can stay informed of your teen’s activities while you’re away from home. This is a great feature if you travel a lot for business. It’s also a good way for your child to let you know instantly if they’re in trouble.
Cell phone monitor – You can get a similar monitoring system to track your child’s cell phone activity. These devices will send you reports on their calls, texting, location, web history and any pictures taken. Teens with mobile phone technology are more likely to use it than their home computers. This is also a great way to deter teen abductions and know instantly if anything goes wrong.
Car monitor – Teens don’t always use good judgment when they get behind the wheel, so a car monitor is another way to use technology to spy on them. These GPS devices not only track where your kids are going, but what speed they’re driving and if they’re out past their curfew. They can even be set to give your teen an audible warning if they’re driving recklessly and emit an ear piercing sound if they’re driving too fast or staying out too late.
Home security – Many people have security systems installed in their homes that can be used to spy on their teens. Security cameras can be reviewed plus checking the alarm history can let you know the exact time your child enters and leaves the house.

Of course your teen is not going to like all this spying, especially if you are doing it on the sly, so be sure to let them know what you’re doing and why. Be careful not to overreact over every little piece of information you get or your teen will find ways to get around your monitoring. There’s a delicate balance between ensuring your child’s safety and just plain being snoopy. Give them as much privacy as you can, but be ready to broach their boundaries if you think they’re in real danger.

Source: My ISP Finder

Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today's teenagers.

Is your teen addicted to their Blackberry? Have they became Crackberry?

2011-10-08T08:57:00.000-07:00

Your teen demands a Blackberry.
You become a Crackberry!
Now what?

The nickname ‘Crackberry’ was applied to Blackberry cell phones early on in its use, and it stuck. There is even a website called crackberry.com that claims to be the number one site for Blackberry users and abusers. Obviously, there is a reason behind the name and the comparison of the phone to the addictive substance, crack cocaine.

Geek disease - Every geek had to have one as soon as they came on the market. The large screen, lots of little buttons and multi-functioning capabilities had them foaming at the mouth.
Addictive – Of course, the main reason for the name was related to its apparent addictive qualities. Once a person owned a Blackberry, you never saw them without it. They not only carried it with them everywhere, but they seldom put it down or took their eyes off it.
Compulsive – The instant communication capabilities of the Blackberry when it first arrived on the scene were novel to the cell phone user. The ability to receive and respond to your emails on your phone was quite an amazing feature, but it also meant that you were being bombarded with the sense that you needed to respond immediately to each new email that came in.
Expensive – As with cocaine, the ‘crackberries’ were also a very expensive habit to maintain. They cost hundreds of dollars for the unit itself and then there were the monthly data plans to carry all the functionality to the phone, besides.
Peer pressure - “You have to get one!” with the Blackberry seemed to be as affective with the geek crowd as the “You have to try this!” with the crowd that was into drugs. Peer pressure isn’t the least bit limited to one social group or the other.
Zoning – You’ve seen ‘the zone’, haven’t you? Their eyes are fixed, and they seem to be oblivious to everything and everyone else around them? The only difference with the Blackberry addict is that his eyes are fixed on an electronic device.
Withdrawal – A Crackberry user will suffer withdrawal if he is forced to do without his phone for more than a few hours at a time. Symptoms of the with include nervousness, irritability and a lack of focus.
Euphoria – If you watched a new Blackberry user immediately after receiving their first Blackberry, you would witness an obvious sense of euphoria flooding their face.
Behavior modification – The possession of the Blackberry created a definite change in behavioral patterns of the owner. They became much less verbal in their communication and began to prefer to use their thumbs for sending short email messages via their phones.
Cracked screens – There is one additional reason for the ‘crackberry’ nickname that came from a very different direction, that being the frequency of cracked LCD screens on Blackberries. Blackberries have not fared well when dropped on concrete or sent flying off the top of a car after being left their by their owner. Cracked screens, of course, often lead to the symptoms of withdrawal, listed above.

As you can see, there are a lot of reasons the Blackberries gained their nickname of Crackberries. It appears to be quite fitting.

Source: Home Phone Service

Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today's teenagers.

Teens and Video Games: The Health Benefits?

2011-09-26T08:04:00.000-07:00

Since home video games were popularized in the '80s, killjoys have blamed them for almost every ill in society. Games have supposedly started wars, made children morbidly obese and caused people to shun the outside world, at least according to their theories. In reality, video games are an entertaining, sometimes time-consuming hobby that falls somewhere between watching TV and reading books.

Believe it or not, there is some good associated with parking yourself in front your favorite console each day. Perhaps you've experienced some of the following health benefits — and, even if you haven't, you can show them to your significant other to convince her/him that you haven't really been wasting massive amounts of time.

They comfort people with depression As with any mind-consuming activity that you thoroughly enjoy, gaming can serve as somewhat of an antidepressant. In the case of Bejeweled, a puzzle game in which players move gems into rows based on their colors, a study indicated that participants experience improved mood and heart rhythm from a session of play. Essentially, it helps people unwind and relax as if they're working on a crossword puzzle — something that certainly isn't viewed as an unhealthy activity.
They improve dexterity A study conducted by psychologists at the University of Rochester found that video game-playing surgical residents and surgeons who were tasked with performing a procedure were 24% faster, made 32% fewer errors and scored 26% better overall. Those percentages were even higher for those who played game in the past for more than three hours. The findings could open the door to training potential surgeons and scientists from an early age. Having surgery soon? You'll be better off if your surgeon is a gamer — imagine that.
They improve your eyesight Forget LASIK eye surgery — you can spend $60 on a video game and experience improvement in your vision. According to researchers at the University of Rochester, people who played action video games for a month were able to identify letters presented in clutter 20% better than before. Incredibly, results were shown after just 30 hours of play. When you play action games, your vision is tested to its limit, and the brain adjusts accordingly. The human body is pretty neat.
They improve social skills Gamers have been unfairly stereotyped through the years as socially inept, significant-other-less freaks who dwell in their parents' basements. The fact of the matter, given the sheer popularity of gaming, is that a variety of individuals with varying personalities compose the gaming community. As it turns out, World of Warcraft, a game that requires players to be social, teaches leadership and conflict resolution skills, according to a Swedish researcher. Although fans of the game may be viewed as cult-like, they're actually strengthening their ability to function in the outside world.
They improve knowledge retention Video games can be used for the specific purpose of advancing learning. A study conducted at the University of Kansas found they can impart specific knowledge. Researchers administered tests to three different groups, one of which prepared using a PowerPoint lecture and two of which prepared using a video game. Of course, the latter two groups demonstrated better knowledge retention. The advantage of using video games in this case may have been the mere fact that it requires active engagement of the mind, as opposed to almost thoughtlessly looking over slides.
They increase response time Amazing work is being done at the University of Rochester. In another much-welcomed study, researchers found that video games can provide a training regimen that increases visual reaction times while maintaining accuracy. Certain games require quick processing of sensory information, an activity that can be mastered with practice. If you're a fan of Halo or Call of Duty, take note — those skills could prove useful in other nonviolent endeavors.
They reduce stress Not only do video games serve as a distraction, but they can fight anger. Researchers at Texas A&M University found that playing violent video games, such as Call of Duty 2, gave players an outlet in which to take out their aggression, contradicting the numerous studies that have indicated the opposite. Thinking of going postal? Play Playstation instead.
They improve self esteem It always feels good to crush your opponent in Madden, which naturally makes you feel better about yourself. But did you know there have been games designed for the specific purpose of improving your self esteem? McGill University researchers focused on encouraging positive thoughts and positive attitudes in an effort to remove negative thought patterns. Of course, developing self-esteem is a bit more complex than just playing a video game, but it provides a good start for patterning behavior.
They actually help you exercise and lose weight One of the most obvious health benefits of modern gaming is physical, thanks to the creation of Wii and its exergaming offerings. The International Sports Sciences Association confirmed that such games are effective at getting kids off the couch and increasing their heart rates, a far cry from the stereotype that all gamers are obese oafs. Seniors seeking gentler exercise can play Wii fit, for example, to maintain their health, which is why many senior residences contain the gaming system.
They relieve pain Perhaps pain really is all in the mind. Once again, the key word is "distraction" here, as participating in games can take a player's mind off of their ailment, according to researchers at Emory University. It's most effective using virtual reality, which can transport a player into an entirely different virtual world. This type of therapy has been used with real patients, including those who've endured significant trauma. What's more, there are no side effects — beats the heck out of a lot of medications.

Source: Best Online Colleges

Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today's teenagers.

Opening Eyes to the Damage Drugs Cause: Target America

2011-09-22T11:28:00.000-07:00

It's not my kid.
He's only smoking pot.
It's the friends she is hanging with.

The longer parents are in denial, the more they are at risk of raising an addict.

Addiction is treatable, education is key to prevention. Let's not get to the addiction phase.

Most Americans are unaware of the science behind the damaging effects of illegal drugs on the mind and body, or of the other tremendous costs associated with the production, sale, and use of illegal drugs. The costs to society—estimated at more than $180 billion a year—are borne by all of us in some way.

Target America: Opening Eyes to the Damage Drugs Cause is a traveling exhibit designed to open eyes to the science behind addiction to illegal drugs and the myriad costs of illegal drugs—to individuals, American society, and the world—and to provide food for thought on how each and every one of us can make a difference.

The exhibit, which debuted at the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) Museum in 2002, presents newly expanded content, including SAMHSA's interactive learning experience that enables visitors to explore the facts related to underage drinking, illicit drug use, and prescription drug misuse and abuse, and to learn how they can help individuals who are at risk for or contemplating suicide. Redesigned for this most recent opening, SAMHSA’s section supports its Strategic Initiative to prevent mental illness and substance abuse by focusing on actions and activities that help people build emotional health and stay free of drugs and alcohol.

Learn more by visiting Target America and download their brochure here.

Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today's teenagers.

Advantages and Disadvantages of Homeschooled Students in College

2011-09-19T06:36:00.000-07:00

In recent years, homeschooling has seen a rise in popularity, with more and more parents deciding to educate their children not at a traditional school but at home, typically with a parent as instructor. But just like traditional classrooms, homeschool doesn't last forever, and homeschooled students at some point will have to get ready to move on to college. Things are easier for homeschooled college students today, but in the past, these students were plagued by difficult admissions, culture shock, and more. Now, homeschool students often enjoy easier admission, better college performance, and even the opportunity to enter college with several credits already earned.

Read on, and you'll find out more about what the homeschool college student experience is like today.

Homeschoolers often enter college with more credit Homeschooled students are able to work at their own pace, and as a result, students have the freedom to move significantly faster than those in a traditional classroom. Michael Cogan, a researcher at the University of St. Thomas, discovered that homeschool students typically earn more college credits before their freshman year than traditional students, with 14.7 credits for homeschoolers, and 6.0 for traditional students. Earning college credit before freshman year can save thousands of dollars and shave time off of a degree. The 14.7 average credits for homeschoolers represent a full semester of freshman year, which is typically 12-15 credit hours.
Homeschool students do better on the SAT and ACT Perhaps benefiting from personalized test prep, homeschool students typically score higher on standardized college admissions tests. The homeschool average for the ACT was 22.5 in 2003, compared with the national average of 20.8. The SAT was no different, with a homeschool average of 1092 in 2002, and a national average of 1020. ACT and SAT scores are very important for college admissions and even financial aid, so doing well on these tests is vital to a great college experience.
Homeschool GPAs are consistently higher As a homeschooled student, you work on a flexible schedule. Young children may rely greatly on their parents for scheduling and instruction, but high schoolers typically become more autonomous in their studies, learning key skills for success as independent students in college. Research indicates that this time spent learning how to study independently pays off, as homeschoolers typically have higher GPAs than the rest of their class. Homeschool freshmen have higher GPAs in their first semester at college, with 3.37 GPAs for homeschoolers, and 3.08 for the rest. This trend continues with an overall freshman GPA of 3.41 vs. 3.12, and senior GPAs of 3.46 vs. 3.16, indicating that homeschoolers are better prepared for college.
Homeschooled students are more likely to attend college Homeschooled students seem to be more likely to participate in college-level education. As reported by the Homeschool Legal Defense Association, more than 74% of home educated adults between 18-24 have taken college level courses. This rate is much higher than the general US population, which comes in at 46% for the same age range.
Homeschoolers are everywhere -Patrick Henry College is one college that specifically caters to the homeschool population, but homeschoolers are increasingly accepted in a wide variety of colleges and universities. In fact, homeschoolers are now in over 900 different colleges and universities, many of them with rigorous admissions. Some of these colleges include Harvard, Cornell, Princeton, Dartmouth, Brown, and Rice University.
Homeschooled students are more likely to graduate Making it to college is one thing, but actually sticking around and graduating is another. Students who have homeschooled will typically do better than other students, with a slightly higher retention rate, at 88.6% vs 87.6% for traditional students. Graduation rates show a higher disparity between homeschoolers and the national average, with 66.7% of homeschooled students graduating, compared to 57.5%.
Some colleges actively recruit homeschool students Homeschool students have proven themselves to be so outstanding that several colleges have begun to actively recruit them. Boston University, Nyack College, and Dartmouth are among them, with a Dartmouth College admissions officer recognizing, "The applications [from homeschoolers] I've come across are outstanding. Homeschoolers have a distinct advantage because of the individualized instruction they have received."
Homeschooled students are very likely to succeed in collegeResearch and probability indicates that homeschooled students typically do very well in college, not just academically, but socially as well. Skills learned in homeschooling translate very well to the college campus, with strong self-discipline and motivation. Colleges recognize this advantage, including Brown University representative Joyce Reed, who shares, "These kids are the epitome of Brown students." She believes they make a good fit with the university because "they've learned to be self-directed, they take risks, they face challenges with total fervor, and they don't back off."
High school transcripts are often not required for college admissions Although traditional students will typically be expected to submit their high school transcript, homeschooled students usually do not need one, submitting other information instead. Sixty-eight percent of US universities will accept parent-prepared transcripts. Others will take portfolios, with letters of recommendation, ACT or SAT test scores, essays, and more, allowing homeschooled applicants flexibility in admissions.
Homeschoolers can play college sports As long as they meet standardized guidelines, homeschooled athletes can be awarded freshman eligibility to participate in college level sports. The number of homeschooled students participating in sports is growing as well, with up to 10 each year in 1988-1993, and as many as 75 students in the late 90s. Homeschool waiver applicants are typically approved, and in the 1998-1999 school year all applicants in Divisions I and II were approved, indicating not only an increased interest in college sports from homeschoolers, but an excellent openness in participation.
Many homeschoolers are National Merit Scholars The National Merit Scholar program is an academic competition offering prestige and cold hard scholarship cash for high achieving students. The number of homeschool National Merit Scholars is increasing at a high rate: in 1995, there were 21 homeschool finalists, compared with 129 in 2003, a 500% increase. Homeschoolers are clearly doing well in their studies, and as a result, are reaping the rewards in scholarship money to use in school.
Homeschooled students may have higher college acceptance rates Colleges and universities often recognize that homeschooled students tend to be exceptional in their academic performance, and combined with advanced studies and extracurricular activities, make great candidates for admission. In addition to actively seeking out homeschooled applicants, colleges may also be accepting more of them. In the fall of 1999, Stanford University accepted 27% of homeschooled applicants. This doesn't sound like a lot, but it's an incredible number when you consider that this rate is twice the acceptance rate experienced by public and private school students admitted in the same semester.
Homeschool students are often in honors programs High achieving homeschool students can benefit from advanced curriculum in college, which is why so many of them end up in honors programs once they go on to study at universities. At Ball State University, most homeschooled freshmen were admitted at a higher level than regular students. Eighty percent of homeschool students were admitted to "upper levels of admission," and 67% were in the Honors College.
Homeschooled students may receive federal financial aid Due to some confusion in the past, homeschooled students may have had to obtain a GED in order to qualify for financial aid. But the Homeschool Legal Defense Association indicates that laws have changed, and as long as students have completed their education "in a homeschool setting that is treated as a homeschool or a private school under state law," they are eligible for federal financial aid without a GED.
Many scholarships are available to homeschooled students Traditional scholarships are often open to homeschooled students, but there are also some created specifically for the homeschool crowd. In an effort to attract stellar homeschooled students for admission, colleges are developing homeschool scholarships. Belhaven offers $1,000 per year, College of the Southwest awards up to $3,150 each year, and Nyack College will give up to $12,000. With the high cost of a college education, these scholarships can really pay off for homeschoolers.

Source: Online College

Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today's teenagers.

Teen Drug Use is UP!

2011-09-12T07:45:00.000-07:00

'It's not my kid!' is a common phrase parents will say.

It's always the kid down the street, or the one at school, or even another family member. Parents that stay in the world of denial about their teen using drugs, are actually only harming their teenager. The more you make excuses, the longer you are allowing this dangerous behavior.

This is National Recovery Month, why not take a moment to seriously consider your teen's behavior. You could save their life.

Did you know more teens smoke marijuana than cigarettes?

The use of illicit drugs among Americans increased between 2008 and 2010, according to a national survey conducted by SAMHSA. The National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH) shows that 22.6 million Americans age 12 or older (8.9 percent of the population) were current illicit drug users. The rate of use in 2010 was similar to the rate in 2009 (8.7 percent), but remained above the 2008 rate (8.0 percent).

Another disturbing trend is the continuing rise in the rate of current illicit drug use among young adults age 18 to 25—from 19.6 percent in 2008 to 21.2 percent in 2009 and 21.5 percent in 2010. This increase was also driven in large part by a rise in the rate of current marijuana use among this population.
“We stand at a crossroads in our Nation’s efforts to prevent substance abuse and addiction,” said SAMHSA Administrator Pamela S. Hyde, J.D. “These statistics represent real lives that are at risk from the harmful and sometimes devastating effects of illicit drug use. This Nation cannot afford to risk losing more individuals, families, and communities to illicit drugs or from other types of substance abuse—instead, we must do everything we can to effectively promote prevention, treatment, and recovery programs across our country.”
The annual NSDUH survey, released by SAMHSA at the kickoff of the 22nd annual National Recovery Month observance, is a scientifically conducted annual survey of approximately 67,500 people throughout the country, age 12 and older. Because of its statistical power, NSDUH is the Nation’s premier source of statistical information on the scope and nature of many behavioral health issues.

Source: SAMHSA

View the complete survey here.

Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today's teenagers.

Teen Drug Use: Are SMART DRUGS safe?

2011-09-06T07:58:00.000-07:00

Smart drugs, or nootropics, aren’t as dangerous as they first sound. In fact, they’re virtually nontoxic supplements that are designed to enhance cognition and memory through the use of hormones and by increasing oxygen flow to the brain.

But with any kind of hoped-for "wonder drug," smart drugs carry risks, particularly when given to impressionable teenagers or college students frentically searching for a quick fix during finals.

Here are the facts and debates that every parent should know about smart drugs.

What the Hype’s All About

They really might just make you smarter: There could be long-term side effects (see below), but in many cases, scientists have noticed that smart drugs really do improve memory, mental energy, learning ability and alertness, and actually decrease signs of depression.
It’s a common drug for treating sleep disorders: At least one type of smart drug called Modafinil is used to treat sleep disorders, and was designed to "offer targeted, more powerful mental sharpening," according to a 2007 Times article. Other smart drugs are legitimately tested drugs used for other conditions like Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s and ADD, so many students believe they’re proven to be safe.
Common behavioral drugs deliver a similar fix: Common drugs like Ridalin and Adderall that are normally used to help attention deficit disorders are becoming more popular with students who do not have behavioral issues but who want increased clarity, focus and energy. Adderall even has a new name on college campuses, "Addy," and helps with marathon study sessions.
It offers the benefits of caffeine, without the jittery side effects: Like caffeine, the more sophisticated smart drugs give the mind an instant boost, and subjects moved from task to task very naturally, never losing their focus. But unlike caffeine and similar stimulants, the subjects did not experience negative side effects like feeling jittery or anxious, or even high or like their hearts were racing.
They’re readily available: Many smart drugs can be purchased online, from foreign pharmacies, or in health and wellness stores. Illegally acquired or sold prescriptions are also popular methods of getting smart drugs, especially among students.
The stigma for smart drugs isn’t really there: Our society has attached a stigma to certain supplements and drugs — even behavioral drugs and medication to relieve depression — but the effects of smart drugs basically turn us into smarter, more confident and more successful versions of ourselves. The positive effects make society more accepting of smart drugs and smart drug users.
It may help you lose weight: This Huffington Post writer found that one side effect of smart drugs was losing weight, so the appeal strengthens: "you become cleverer and thinner."

The Other Side

It may be illegal: Students often use and sell these drugs widely, circulating them around college campuses or even high schools, but doing so without a prescription is a felony.
Smart drugs are most effective for people with brain injuries or disease: While smart drugs may improve your memory, they’re most effective when given to people with conditions like Parkinson’s or Alzheimers, not otherwise healthy-minded individuals.
They’re being taken as long-term drugs, without long-term side effects being known: While research has found minimal immediate side effects resulting from taking smart drugs, scientists aren’t sure of the long-term effects of these supplements. And since they’re the type of drug that will most likely be used as a long-term cognitive enhancer, there is substantial debate about the safety of the drugs.
They’re already very popular in the U.S.: The 2007 Times article points to a University of Michigan study that discovered 8% of undergraduates admitted to illegally taking prescription drugs for cognitive and learning enhancement, and the number was expected to increase over the next few years at least.
There’s a big ethics debate: Although there’s no serious stigma attached to smart drugs, some do wonder about its ethics. Like athletes taking steroids, are students who take smart drugs at a better, unfair advantage than those who don’t?
The pharmaceutical industry is ready to mass market these drugs: As more people use and talk about smart drugs, the pharmaceutical industry is positioning itself to corner the market and create smart drugs used only for the purpose of increasing cognition and memory for healthy-minded individuals, instead of relying on "multitasking" Parkinson’s or sleep disorder drugs to do the trick. This move would mean a more open discussion and perhaps more accepted — and widespread — usage of smart drugs, perhaps leading to smart drug abuse.

Source: Best Colleges Online

Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today's teenagers.

Text-Speak: Should text code be taught in school? BRB

2011-08-28T05:18:00.000-07:00

The cell phones are buzzing (or playing your favorite song), the keypads are clicking, and parents are still trying to keep up!

Most kids, especially teenagers, learned to text before their parents. Some parents still haven't given way to this common form of communication.

But how would you feel if Text-Speak was taught in schools? Would this help the lines of communication between teachers, parents and their kids?

Texting in school is a very popular topic with people able to argue both sides. Some schools in Australia are teaching text speak or SMS in school. The students put together glossaries and compare their versions to the formal written language. Many might argue but listed below iare ten reasons schools should teach text speak.

Translation. Teaching students how to translate one version of the English language into another version of the English language exposes them to critical thinking skills.
It is useful. Students tend to wonder when they will ever use what they are learning. Not long ago students were required to take Latin, and a very small percentage ever applied it in real life. Texting, on the other hand, is quite useful to just about everyone who owns a cell phone.
Teaches creativity. There are plenty of words or terms that have not been condensed down into SMS text language. By engaging the students to create their own versions they are not only teaching creativity, but instilling self-esteem and confidence when they come up with something useful for others.
Quicker note taking. By teaching SMS text speak in schools the students can apply it to other classes as well by using it as a short hand note taking skill. Unlike formal note taking which can take too long and lead to missed notes, SMS can help students effectively take notes at a speed close to the verbal communication of their teachers.
Can wrap ethics in. Classes can have an ethical or moral tone to them by discouraging students from using texting in inappropriate ways. Many kids today are using texting to bully or send lewd messages to one another. This topic can be brought in to dissuade that kind of behavior.
Can prepare them for the future. Technology is improving at a rate that some of us cannot keep up with. By bringing this into the classroom you can prepare students for the ever evolving technological advances.
Engages students. Since you never see a teenager very far from their phone and in some cases it seems like it is permanently attached to their fingers, it makes sense to utilize them in the classrooms as well. Using cell phones in school is a great way to engage students with something they are already familiar with and then use texting to draw them into other subjects as well.
Can save future embarrassment. If texting is taught in school, then students have the opportunity to learn the different acronyms and what they may or may not mean. This can save face in the future when texting a client or other professional. Some SMS texts have different meanings and some, like in verbal communication, can be said in a variety of ways.
It CAN be used to teach spelling. Most people think of texting as eliminating the bulk of a word in order to condense it. This is true but it can be used in reverse in a school setting. Teachers can use SMS text language to give the students their spelling words and then have the students send back a message with the correct spelling of the word or words.
Increases participation. By integrating texting into the classroom, teachers have been using it to get students to participate that otherwise wouldn’t. Some students may be afraid to answer a question out loud in class for fear of being wrong, but by texting answers to the teacher more students can participate at once.

Some people believe that texting in school is a distraction and can lead to cheating, but by bringing it into a classroom session and properly teaching them how to use texting, it can be beneficial to both the student and the teacher.

Source: Phone Service

Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today's teenagers.

ACT Study Finds 25% of College Graduates are College-Ready

2011-08-24T07:41:00.000-07:00

As schools open, many juniors and seniors will be preparing for their SAT and ACT testing for college applications. This can be a stressful time for both the parents and the teens.

College attendance has steadily increased since 2000 (up 22%), with 68% of high school graduates enrolled in two- or four-year college program in 2010. However, ACT’s annual study of college readiness shows that only 25% of current high school graduates are actually prepared for college.

The study uses empirically derived, ACT College Readiness Benchmarks which are the minimum scores required on ACT subject area tests to indicate if a student is 50% likely to earn a B or better or 75% likely to earn a C or better in first-year college courses.

Other key findings from the study are summarized graphically in a convenient infographic that you can access here:

ACT suggests the following steps for parents hoping to ensure that students are college-ready by graduation:
1.       Know the essential expectations of a core curriculum. Some states have adopted Common Core State Standards, but many colleges and universities expect incoming students to have taken more than the state’s requirements. Be certain that your student is working toward the requirements of his or her intended college, even if those differ from the requirements of the school or state. ACT recommends a minimum of four years of English, and three years each of mathematics, science, and social studies.
2.       Encourage students to take challenging high school courses. A key determiner of college readiness is not just the number of courses taken in high school and grades earned, but the rigor and standards applied to performance in those classes.
3.       Intervene early. Gaps in foundational skills and knowledge are best remediated in upper-elementary and middle school, so that students can undertake more advanced learning and effectively prepare for college in high school.
4.       Pay attention not just to academic readiness, but to behavioral readiness and education and career planning – an emphasis on scores and test results alone cannot guarantee that a student will be well-prepared for college.

You can read the full study here.

Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today’s teenagers.

Back to School: What is Your Anti-Bullying Policy?

2011-08-21T12:49:00.000-07:00

As school will be opening, unfortunately we may start hearing about the ugliness of bullying and teasing of kids. Many, if not most, schools have employed an anti-bullying policies and programs. But what happens if they don’t work?

A special guest post from Blair Wagner of A Way Through helps sort through this dilemma.

Why Anti-bullying Programs Miss the Mark

As I direct my focus to a new school year about to begin, I reflect back on the past school year and the approaches I’ve seen schools take to address school bullying among their students and their staff. The one that really misses the mark is starting an anti-bullying program.

It is common for us to see something we don’t like and to join an anti-[fill in the blank] campaign. We talk about, write about, and complain about how bad it is. Our focus is on resisting the thing we don’t like, in this case bullying. We push against it. And that’s the problem.

What We Resist Persists

There’s an old saying: What we resist persists. Put another way, when we are negative about an issue, we perpetuate or spread negativity.

When we jump on the anti-bullying bandwagon, our attention, energy and focus are on the negativity of bullying. From this place of negativity, we lack emotional access to positive solutions. The anti name has a persistent negative influence.

As an alternative to a dooms day attitude or an angry approach, a more effective option is to recognize the bullying we see. Name it. Be curious about it. Look at it from several angles. But don’t stay stuck there.

Once we’ve gotten clear on what we are seeing and where it is coming from, work to clarify what we DO want. We want better social skills, social competence, emotional intelligence, social intelligence, healthy friendships, a positive culture, a positive climate, and positive role models.

A Springboard to Create a Replacement of Bullying Behavior

This positive focus gives us a springboard to create what we want.

Once we know what we want in bullying prevention, our job is to provide structures, training, and ongoing support for our students and for our school staff – all based on a focus of creating what we want, not on stopping what we don’t want.

Let’s replace those anti-bullying posters (of kids bullying or being bullied) with posters representing healthy friendships and acts of kindness. Start social skills training early. Put forth positive examples, language and visuals everywhere to influence your students in a positive way!

© 2011 A Way Through, LLC

Female friendship experts Jane Balvanz and Blair Wagner publish A Way Through, LLC’s Guiding Girls ezine. If you’re ready to guide girls in grades K – 8 through painful friendships, get your FREE mini audio workshop and ongoing tips now at www.AWayThrough.com.

Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today’s teenagers.

Teen Drug Slang: Decoding Your Teen Talk

2011-08-17T16:16:00.000-07:00

2011 is a time when parenting and social media collide on many levels. However there is also a new list of terms that teens are using to mask their activities – especially substance use.

Bridge the communication gap and learn the slang terms that teens use for Rx drug use. Is your child an “all star?” You may be tempted to say yes, but this term doesn’t refer to team sports or academic success. An “all star” is a person taking multiple drugs.

DIRECTIONS: Every generation has their slang, but the lingo today’s teenagers use could mean something dangerous if they are abusing prescription or over-the-counter (OTC) drugs. For example, you go “fishig” for salmon or trout, they go “phishing” for pharmaceuticals.

Words that sound innocent to your ears may have another meaning on the street. Read the “hints” and then see if you can guess the drug culture’s definition of these common words or expressions.

Learn more about slang terms – click here.

Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today's teenagers.

Alcoholic Whipped Cream to Sizzurp: Teen Drug Abuse

2011-08-14T05:36:00.000-07:00

What will teens come up with next to get high from? Why don’t some of them understand the dangers of substance abuse – the risks that come with even experimenting with some of these drugs? We just heard about the alcoholic whipped cream, now we have this next trend.

PACT Coalition of St. Johns County, FL sends out a newsletter. It always has valuable information. This week it informed parents about Sizzurp. What is it????

This was their trend for the week:

We’ve had several requests for information about cough syrup abuse recently. This is a good reminder to keep a close eye on the items in the medicine cabinet. Cough syrup is a main ingredient of Sizzurp. This is a mixed drink which consists of codeine cough syrup, a fruit flavored soda and often a Jolly Rancher. The codeine causes a feeling of euphoria which can impair driving, cause lethargy and extreme tiredness. Pop culture has embraced this trend in many songs and movies.

During this month – Partnership at DrugFree.org has also rolled out their campaign – You Are Not Alone.

Many parents are more fearful of the stigma attached to having a teen use drugs than they are concerned for the teen that is using the drugs. It is time to stop being a parent in denial -know that you are not alone, and there is help and resources to get your teenager the help they need.

Get involved today!

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/partnershipdrugfree

Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/YOU_R_NOT_ALONE

Website: http://www.drugfree.org/youarenotalone

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/youarenotalone
Drug Guide: http://www.drugfree.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/drug_chart_10.25.10_opt.pdf

Intervention ebook: http://timetogethelp.drugfree.org/sites/default/files/intervention_guide.pdf

Treatment ebook: http://timetogethelp.drugfree.org/sites/default/files/treatment_guide.pdf

Time To Get Help: http://www.timetogethelp.drugfree.org

Parents Toll-Free Helpline: 1-855-DRUGFREE

If you have any further questions, partnership ideas or comments, please feel free to email us at youarenotalone@drugfree.org.

Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today’s teenagers.

Teens 5 Step Save/Spend Plan: Teaching Finance Early

2011-08-08T08:45:00.000-07:00

Today's economy is not a secret, it is a screaming concern among parents, senior citizens and most people in our country.

Does your teenager understand the seriousness of learning how to save, spend and budget money?

The 5-Step Save/Spend Plan by The Mint is a great place to start.

How much of your income should you stash away in savings? You may think: I'll just put money into savings whenever I don't spend it. And how often do you think that will happen? Remember to pay yourself first.

Step 1: Where to begin? Start by pledging to come up with a plan and to stick to it. Next, try out the Money Diary in the Tracking Section. It will help you figure out how much money you have coming in each month and how you are spending your money. Then work out how much you want to spend on everyday items. If you're spending more than the limit, think about where you can cut back.
Step 2: What money do you have coming in? Depending on your age and life at the moment, this may change from month to month. Your allowance may be set, but the income you get from baby-sitting or odd jobs may change a lot. Start with what is average or what you can count on.
Step 3: How much would you like to save? Divide that money into different savings categories: saving for everyday expenses, short-term saving for emergencies, long-term saving for college, and longer-term saving for the future. You may want to set aside money to give to a charity. Several piggy banks or envelopes for your cash may help you keep your money separate. It may make sense to keep a stash of cash for everyday expenses in your bedroom. The rest should be kept in a savings account so you can earn interest.
Do you have a goal in mind, like saving for a car or new touring bike? Check out the Saving Calculator. It will calculate how long it takes to save an amount of money. The calculator can also tell you how much money you need to save each month to reach a goal in a certain time period.
Step 4: Put it in writing. Writing your plan in your money diary gives it more power. Also by keeping a money diary, you'll be able to see how much money you have coming in, how much money you spend, where it all goes, and how much money you save each week or each month. Keep notes to yourself that compare your savings account balance with your savings goals. Keep it in your Money Diary.
You might not like these new boundaries on your spending. In fact, you may think that you don't have enough spending money. Everybody feels that way. We all have a limited amount of money. Now that you're getting older, you are learning that you have to make choices when it comes to money. It is easy to say, “I just need more of it!” You have to manage your money – so you can get the most out of the dollars you have. Ready to learn more? Learn how to live on a budget.
Step 5: Adjust. If your plan isn't working, you can always make changes. But be honest with yourself about why the plan doesn't work before you change it. What's wrong? Maybe your numbers weren't realistic, and you have to be more practical. On the other hand, maybe the numbers are right, but you're having a hard time sticking to them. Maybe you have to change your habits to make it work.

By taking a hard look at what you do with your money, you can begin to set some limits and shift money around between spending and saving – that's called managing your money.

Every penny counts!

Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today's teenagers.

Teen Drug Use: Getting Grandparents to Talk to Your Teens

2011-08-01T11:40:00.000-07:00

Time to Talk - an initiative from Partnership for a Drug-Free America is always bring us valuable and educational information to keep our kids safe and healthy.

Today’s grandparents do much more than bake cookies. Sixty-eight percent of grandparents see a grandchild every one-to-two weeks and eighty percent of grandparents talk on the phone with their grandchildren at least once every few weeks. According to a national survey conducted in conjunction with the 2000 Census, there are 4.5 million grandparent-headed homes with children under 18 and another 6.1 million grandparents live with and share parental responsibilities for their grandchildren. In other words, grandparents are doing more “parenting” than ever.

While parents are generally recognized as the most important and long-lasting influence on children, grandparents have a close and special bond and often serve as an inspiration to their grandkids. The unique relationship between grandparent and grandchild provides an ideal opening for a discussion about the dangers of drugs and alcohol. Research shows that grandparents are looking for guidance on how to talk to their grandkids about difficult topics. In fact, according to an AARP survey, 54 percent of grandparents would find information about discussing drugs and alcohol somewhat or very useful.
The Partnership for a Drug-Free America offers the following tips for grandparents to keep their grandkids drug-free:

START: It is never too early to prevent your grandchildren from trying drugs and alcohol. Building protective factors — such as letting your grandchild know you care, plays an important role in deterring them from drugs. State your position clearly and often. One of the major reasons teens decide not to use drugs is the fear that their parents or other family members will lose respect for them.
Teens do not want to let down their families.

CONNECT: Take the opportunity to build lines of communication and do things regularly with your grandkids. Spend time together — take a walk with them, read together, play a game, go shopping, go to the movies, a baseball game or go sightseeing together. Use opportunities like family gatherings or inviting your grandchildren to stay over to show that fun doesn’t require drugs.

LISTEN: Take a more active interest in what is going on in your grandchild’s life. Listen to their cares and concerns by fostering family openness and communication. In this way, teens will feel more comfortable to open up to you when they need your advice.

Source: www.timetotalk.org | www.drugfree.org

Teen Drug Use: Huffing, Bagging Sniffing - Inhalant Abuse

2011-07-27T07:11:00.000-07:00

Everyday household items - teens use to get high.

We hear about drug abuse, we hear about under-aged drinking, we hear about cough syrup abuse (not enough), but one dangerous issue that isn’t addressed enough is the use of inhalants! Most are common household items that teens and tweens are getting high from.

What is Inhalant Abuse?

Inhalant abuse refers to the deliberate inhalation or sniffing of common products found in homes and communities with the purpose of “getting high.” Inhalants are easily accessible, legal, everyday products. When used as intended, these products have a useful purpose in our lives and enhance the quality of life, but when intentionally misused, they can be deadly. Inhalant Abuse is a lesser recognized form of substance abuse, but it is no less dangerous. Inhalants are addictive and are considered to be “gateway” drugs because children often progress from inhalants to illegal drug and alcohol abuse. The National Institute on Drug Abuse reports that one in five American teens have used Inhalants to get high.

Huffing, Sniffing, Dusting and Bagging

Inhalation is referred to as huffing, sniffing, dusting or bagging and generally occurs through the nose or mouth. Huffing is when a chemically soaked rag is held to the face or stuffed in the mouth and the substance is inhaled. Sniffing can be done directly from containers, plastic bags, clothing or rags saturated with a substance or from the product directly. With Bagging, substances are sprayed or deposited into a plastic or paper bag and the vapors are inhaled. This method can result in suffocation because a bag is placed over the individual’s head, cutting off the supply of oxygen. Other methods used include placing inhalants on sleeves, collars, or other items of clothing that are sniffed over a period of time. Fumes are discharged into soda cans and inhaled from the can or balloons are filled with nitrous oxide and the vapors are inhaled. Heating volatile substances and inhaling the vapors emitted is another form of inhalation. All of these methods are potentially harmful or deadly. Experts estimate that there are several hundred deaths each year from Inhalant Abuse, although under-reporting is still a problem.

There are more than a 1,400 products which are potentially dangerous when inhaled, such as typewriter correction fluid, air conditioning coolant, gasoline, propane, felt tip markers, spray paint, air freshener, butane, cooking spray, paint, and glue. Most are common products that can be found in the home, garage, office, school or as close as the local convenience store. The best advice for consumers is to read the labels before using a product to ensure the proper method is observed. It is also recommended that parents discuss the product labels with their children at age-appropriate times. The following list represents categories of products that are commonly abused.

List of Products used for Huffing and Sniffing

Source: Inhalant.org visit and learn more.

Teens Starting College: Are they ready emotionally?

2011-07-20T15:05:00.000-07:00

Everyone emotionally and mentally struggles at least once during college, but even individuals with no prior history of mental illness run the risk of losing control under pressure.

Mental illness continues to mystify the mainstream, and students already stressed and anxious about classes, relationships, jobs and activities end up suffering from the stigmas just as much as the conditions themselves. But they don’t have to nurture their pain in quiet. More and more individuals (students or not), their loved ones and organizations are speaking up in favor of psychological help in all its forms.

The following list represents some of the most common conditions occurring on campuses globally, though by no means should it be considered a comprehensive glimpse at an issue far more broad and complex.

Clinical Depression: At least 44% of college students have reported suffering from some degree of clinical depression — and the number only escalates from there as years tick past. Thanks to prevailing social stigmas regarding psychiatric help, only 23% of victims reported that they’d be comfortable discussing their treatment. Considering the amount of stress, anxiety, sleeplessness and inter- and intrapersonal issues characterizing the college experience, it makes sense that an overwhelming number of students succumb to the symptoms. And, unfortunately, many of the common comorbid conditions and illnesses as well.
Generalized Anxiety Disorder: Statistics from 2000 reveal that roughly 10% of college students received a diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder, but in all likelihood the numbers have jumped over the past 11 years. Females suffer from such conditions at a rate of five times more than their male peers, though the numbers may be skewed due to unfair social perspectives regarding men and mental illness. Panic attacks inextricably tie into GAD and related disorders, and the afflicted — regardless of whether or not they attend college — can experience them either spontaneously or based on an external or internal cue. Do keep in mind that not all anxiety disorders manifest themselves via panic attacks, nor are all panic attacks inherently indicative of an anxiety disorder.
Anorexia Nervosa: At least 91% of female college students have attempted to control their weight via extreme dieting, though not all of these cases can be considered anorexia, of course. Bulimia is actually more prevalent on campus, although anorexia kills more of its victims. Between 10% and 25% of total individuals with this tragic eating disorder die either from the disease itself or complications stemming directly from it. As with other diagnoses of its type, anorexia rarely ravages alone. Not only can it exist side-by-side with bulimia, EDNOS or binge eating disorder, it oftentimes settles in as a result of depression, compulsions or severe anxiety. Lifetime statistics show that between 0.5% and 3.6% of American women suffer from this condition at some point in their lives. With eating disorders on the whole, one of the major associated tragedies is the recovery rate. Only around 60% of victims make a full recovery, with 20% making some headway and the remaining 20% not really coming around.
Bulimia Nervosa: Bulimia nervosa can either exist as comorbid with anorexia nervosa, binge eating disorder or EDNOS or on its own, though almost always stems from a mood, anxiety or compulsive disorder rather than flying entirely solo. Roughly 19% of female college students suffer beneath the destructive diagnosis, although males do suffer from it as well. This compares with the 1.1% to 4.2% of women who struggle with bulimia at any point in their lifetime — not just the college years.
Substance Abuse: College males admit to past-year drug abuse at a rate of 40%, compared to the 43% of their un-enrolled peers. Females represent an inverse, with 35% of students abusing drugs versus 33% for those outside of college. A total of 37.5% of full-time students and 38.5% of part-timers admitted to illicit substance abuse. Roughly half of the college demographic engages in destructive alcohol consumption, with 1,700 dying, 599,000 injured, 696,000 assaulted and 97,000 raped or sexually assaulted yearly as a direct result. The reasons for these behaviors are as many and varied as there are individuals to display them, although a desire to fit in, depression, anxiety and other mental health issues are frequently to blame.
Suicidal Thoughts and Actions: 7.5 out of every 100,000 college students commit suicide, with males between the ages of 20 and 24 standing as the most at-risk demographic. Graduate students are also more vulnerable, claiming 32% of these tragedies. At least 10.1% of total college kids admitted to seriously contemplating suicide, and 1.4% said they attempted it within the past year. The myriad emotional, mental and physical challenges of college life leave so many overwhelmed by hopelessness, stress and despair. Suicide often — but, of course, not always — represents the extreme end of anxiety, depression, eating disorders, compulsive disorders and other mental health conditions. And the general stigma surrounding the seeking of professional help, particularly amongst men, certainly doesn’t quell the problem any.
Self-Injury: A 2006 study by Princeton and Cornell researchers revealed that 14% of male and 20% of female students repeatedly engaged in some sort of compulsive self-injury. Cutting, burning, and other dangerous releases provide a similar temporary comfort as drug and alcohol abuse. And, understandably, tend to correlate directly with anxiety, mood disorders, eating disorders, and even suicidal thoughts and behaviors, although single or repeated instances of physical, mental, and emotional abuse as well as lowered self-esteem can factor in at any time as well. 41% of college-aged self-injurers began hurting themselves between the ages of 17 and 22, although the national average is between 14 and 15. Unfortunately, only around 7% of these individuals seek psychological assistance for their torment.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: OCD afflicts one out of every 40 adults, one out of every 100 children and 250 out of every 10,000 college students. Considering higher education already severely taxes kids without any preexisting mental health conditions, it might prove hellacious to those suffering from the compulsive disorder. If left untreated, sufferers run the risk of succumbing to depression and anxiety (both of which are oftentimes co-morbid with OCD), substance abuse, self-injury or even suicide.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: It’s difficult to really gauge just how many college students truly suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, as its symptoms almost always overlap with depressive and anxiety issues — not to mention the fact that both often grow from it. The condition settles in after any number of triggering incidents, but military service and sexual assault (up to and including rape) tend to garner the most attention. Both also impact college students and college-aged as well. An estimated 11% to 20% of Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans are expected to return home with PTSD. At least 20% of college females reported being victimized by rape at some point in their life, and on a national level only 18% actually take it to the authorities. Women under the age of 30.8 (specifically, those in the 16 to 19 range) are the most vulnerable demographic to sexual assault and rape, comprising 80% of reported cases.
Phobias: Whether mild and largely harmless or in need of professional intervention, specific phobias are incredibly common both on and off college campuses. Arachnophobia appears to be the most prevalent, afflicting a staggering 34% of the student populace. The only one with any real relevance or influence on college life was public speaking, which terrified 31%. Surprisingly enough, 18% of respondents said they thought they might greatly benefit from pursuing counseling or other form of psychological assistance.

Source: Accredited Online Colleges

Be an educated parent, you will have healthier teens.

Eating Disorders and Your Kids

2011-07-14T12:07:00.000-07:00

How am I supposed to bring this up with my kids? I don’t know where to start.

Initiating a conversation about someone else is a neutral, non-threatening way to broach the topic. If you hear that someone in your child’s school has an eating disorder, that is an appropriate time to bring it up. Your child already knows or will hear rumors soon, and may have questions that you can answer. If you don’t have any examples closer to home, there are frequently stories of celebrities in and out of treatment.

One that your child may already know is Demi Lovato, a teen actress and singer who has been in numerous Disney movies and TV shows. She entered the residential treatment center last fall, and in April 2011 she gave a few interviews where she discussed some pretty heavy topics.

She discussed being bullied as a child, and her subsequent depression, eating disorder, and self-mutilation, as well as her recent diagnosis with bipolar disorder, her recovery, and helping other girls in her new role with Seventeen Magazine. Here are a few sources for you that condense her story: an article that summarizes Demi’s disorders and treatment or this video where Demi discusses being bullied, her eating disorder, cutting, and her treatment.

Chances are, your children already know her story, and have heard about people at school doing things like skipping meals, purging, or cutting. Demi’s life may not have been that of a typical child, but we can use her story to check in and connect with our children.

Why should I be concerned if my kid is on a diet? I’m on a diet too.

You as an adult are more likely to have your diet in the proper perspective. Kids and teens, especially perfectionist, driven, rule-bound ones, can take things too far until it is a compulsion they cannot control. In her interview, Demi said that by fifteen years old, she was skipping most meals, and when she failed to lose weight, started throwing up. Take stock of your own eating habits – ditch the rules about food, weighing portions, or calorie counting, and instead focus on eating mostly nutritious food, only when you are hungry. Also, never cut yourself down for your weight or what you eat, or be critical about others’ weight or appearance. Before you say it, think how it would sound coming out of a child’s mouth.

My son has been losing weight, but it’s for sports, so that doesn’t count, right?

It’s true that girls and women are more likely to develop eating disorders, but out of eleven million suffering from ED today, one million of those are male. Check over the list of symptoms below, and pay attention to your instinct as a parent. If anything about the way your son is losing weight concerns you, talk to him and talk to a professional. Better safe than sorry!

What’s the difference between an eating disorder and a diet? Or, what are the symptoms of an eating disorder?

It’s possible to diet without developing an eating disorder, but most medical professionals agree that children should not be on any diets.

Where the two differ, however, is the ability or inability to think logically and rationally. So when a normal dieter looks in the mirror and sees progress, anorexics have a distorted view and cannot see themselves as anything but fat. Their irrational compulsion justifies extreme measures, like purging, skipping entire meals, and laxatives. A medical professional or therapist can help with an accurate assessment and diagnosis, but let your instinct as a parent serve as an early warning system. You are often the first to know when something is up with your child, even if you aren’t sure what it is.

Be watchful for these symptoms:

Different eating habits, diet plans, skipping meals, snacks, meat, or desserts, avoiding eating with others
Distorted, negative self-image
Eating alone, in secret, or at night
Avoiding social situations that involve food
Change in moods including depression, anxiety, withdrawal, irritability, obsessive behavior in other activities
Preoccupation with dieting, calories, food, cooking, diet books, what others are eating
Visiting websites that promote unhealthy weight loss
Any weight loss, weight gain, or failure to make expected gain in height
Compulsive exercising
Taking laxatives, diet pills, or steroids
Making excuses to get out of eating
Going to the bathroom right after meals, running water to hide vomiting sounds
Wearing loose clothing to hide weight loss or body shape
Hoarding high-calorie food, or evidence of binge eating (food wrappers, quantities of food disappearing)

If I suspect they are hiding something, should I snoop in their things?

If you are truly concerned for their safety, you are justified in violating their privacy. This is a last resort, however, and there are ways to avoid it unnecessarily. Are you sure you can’t draw it out in a conversation? If you are just curious, or feeling out of touch, you should instead be working on building your relationship. If you are paying for your son or daughter’s cell phone, internet service, and car payments, you can establish upfront rules about their use that don’t leave them feeling violated. Be judicious with what you find.

If it’s serious, such as laxatives, weapons, drugs, evidence that they are being bullied or stalked by a predator, act on it immediately. They will of course be furious and hurt, but the danger to them is substantial. If you find something upsetting but not dangerous, such as communication complaining about you, first take a deep breath, try to remember what it was like to be a teenager, and let go of your anger. Then work on strengthening your connection.

I’ve seen signs, and now I’m worried. How do I ask my son or daughter if they have an eating disorder?

If you have reason to believe there is a problem, tell them you are concerned without using guilt or blame. Begin by saying, “We have noticed this. Let’s talk.” Skip the lecture, ask open questions, and do more listening than talking. Show compassion and patience. Don’t accuse, shame, or demand anything (except, of course, a visit to a doctor).

Find a therapist that has experience and training in eating disorders. Educate yourself with the resources available from reputable sources such as the National Institute of Mental Health site, the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) Parent Toolkit, or call the NEDA Helpline at 800-931-2237. HelpGuide.org also has a good basic guide for family and friends.

Why is our son or daughter doing this? Is it my fault?

Finding who to blame should not be your first action. However, the question may nag you whether you as a parent have contributed to your child’s condition. Parents do not cause eating disorders. Studies have found that someone can inherit a predisposition, but there are many other factors involved. Like in Demi’s case, where she suffered from depression first, and was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder, ED is often combined with other mental conditions such as depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, or anxiety. Personality traits like perfectionism, eagerness to please, and being highly driven seem to correlate. ED patients come from every sort of family, every ethnicity, cultural background, and economic status. Parents can, however, be instrumental to recovery.

Special contributor: M. Quinlan

Be an educated parent, you will have healthier teens.

Continue reading on Examiner.com Talking to your teens about eating disorders - Jacksonville Parenting Teens | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/parenting-teens-in-jacksonville/talking-to-your-teens-about-eating-disorders#ixzz1S6lC5Anu

What Home Means to Teenagers

2011-07-09T07:42:00.000-07:00

With today’s real estate collapse, people losing jobs, increase in families losing their homes, the stability of many is not only stressful, it is overwhelming.

During the summer months parents will make the move to be sure their kids, especially teens, are settled into a new school district when schools open again. This can be a difficult time for many teens. Whether it is leaving friends and familiar places, or moving away from family, it is a time to realize what is most important about having a home – not just a house or apartment.

Home is where the heart is, and that’s what differentiates it from all other places or states of mind a person may find themselves’ abiding. As you may well know, a home is beyond a physical structure, and has more to do with a place that provides the ultimate comfort and security for someone.Whether it be a plot near a lake, a village of birth, a cardboard box in an alley, or a memory of a moment and time; home is always the best place to be.

Permanence - Life transitions from one challenge to the next, while a home constitutes a sense of endurance against such challenges and is therefore considered permanent. Some may choose to relocate mind or body, but the reference of home will always accompany them wherever they go.

Acceptance - Nowhere else may one experience the true freedom of their personal spirit, without any apology, than in their own private space. A home intimately understands its residents and accepts, willfully, all strengths and deficiencies equally.

Safety - Whether achieved structurally or emotionally, a home portrays the ultimate fortress against foreign elements that would invade or corrupt the sanctity that lies within.

Security -A home is the purest embodiment of security. Within the confines or parameters of that which is considered ‘home’, an individual or family may thrive in the peace and harmony that they create in this atmosphere; and they are able to enjoy this freedom without fear or intimidation.

Nurture - Within each home there is a beauty that is unique in this life. The mere presence of a place that is considered ‘home’, becomes a self-generating energy for the inhabitants within its boundaries.

Prosperity -The true value of the home is often measured by goals and dreams achieved by those who respect ‘this’ as their home. The prosperity may only be realized by those who participate in this ideal; and that may be the most intrinsic beauty of all.

Communal - One of the most invigorating attributes of a home is that it is, quite frankly, meant to be shared. With this sharing, a visitor may experience the uniqueness of this foreign home while exchanging and sharing elements of that which they hold as their own home.

Strength - The best example of strength generation may clearly be found in the home. There, in safety and acceptance, a person is able to rejuvenate, heal, and energize when external forces have chipped away at that which is held sacred by the home.

Wellspring -The home has the distinctive function of quenching the thirst of those who seek relief within the home. There and there alone teems a spring that will endure and satisfy as it replenishes and refreshes its residents.

Sanctuary - Only within a home may we come to know and experience a place or state of being that embraces and celebrates our most personal endeavors. Within such confines, we may explore the uninhibited realms of our faith, dreams and aspirations; and retain the confidence that is a provision of our home.

Home is a relative term. What becomes most important is that each, and every one of us, has such a place—a place to call ‘home’.

Source: Change of Address

Continue reading on Examiner.com How does your teen describe the word ‘home’? – Fort Lauderdale Parenting Teens | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/parenting-teens-in-fort-lauderdale/how-does-your-teen-describe-the-word-home#ixzz1R8ik7WRv

Is Your Teen Ready for a Cell Phone?

2011-07-01T10:43:00.000-07:00

Parents will tend to disagree on the issue of whether or not teens should have their own cellphones or not. When you look around yourself at a mall, it would appear that the parents who have said no to cellphones are in the minority. What are the reasons some parents are withholding this privilege from their teens?

10 Reasons to consider not giving your teen a cell phone:

Cost of service – Cellphone service cost money. Unless a teen is paying for these costs themselves, this is just another expense that a parent has to pay for. Unless they have an unlimited plan, there can also be potential charges for overages on minutes or text messages.
Lost phones – Teenagers are notorious for losing things. They lose their jackets, their ipods, their school books and any number of other things. They even lose their precious cellphones. Even if you have insurance, a replacement still can cost money. If you don’t have insurance, it will definitely cost you money to replace.
Wasted time – Even when they aren’t actually texting or talking on their phone, it can still be a temptation for wasting time. Even the simplest cellphones seem to come with games to play and a camera.
Down time – Kids are connected to electronic gadgetry for much of their leisure and school time. Adding a cellphone to the mix will just make it worse. Kids need some time away from their electronic world to remind them what the rest of life is all about.
Distraction – Cellphones can be a distraction for kids, even if it is just waiting for a call or message. They can also be distracting to others around them while the teen themselves are totally oblivious to the annoyance they are causing.
Responsibility – Many teens just aren’t responsible enough to take proper care of a cellphone and use it wisely. Cellphones have been sent through the laundry and used for prank phone calls, each of which demonstrates a lack of personal responsibility.
Parental control – It can make it more difficult for a parent to monitor a child’s interaction with their peers, when they own their own cellphone. When they have to use the land line or their parents phone, it is more obvious to the parent to know how much time their kids are spending on the phone.
Late nights – Unless the phone is taken away at night, teens have a tendency to stay up to all hours texting on their phone, even on school nights. Lack of sleep is a much bigger problem in schools than a lot of people realize.
Unexpected charges – Teens often don’t realize the danger of giving out their cellphone number online. ‘Free’ ringtones are frequent lure to get people to give out their cellphone numbers and get signed up for a monthly ringtone fee without them realizing that they have done so.
Driving – If the teen is also old enough to drive, a cellphone can be an added temptation to take their eyes off the road. It can be difficult for a teen to have the self-discipline to let their cellphone go unanswered while they’re driving.

Although there are reasons why a teen should not own a cellphone, the reality is that many of them do. When that is the case, it becomes the parents responsibility to teach them how to use it responsibly and to set the necessary limits.

Also read the counter-argument – Why teens should get cell phones.

Source: Phone Service

Continue reading on Examiner.com Why some teens will NOT get a cell phone: Really? - Jacksonville Parenting Teens | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/parenting-teens-in-jacksonville/why-some-teens-will-not-get-a-cell-phone-really#ixzz1QsPC4kGm

Why Not to Push Your Teen into College: Is Every Teen Ready?

2011-06-26T05:09:00.000-07:00

For many kids, the stages of learning are defined long before the first thoughts of college enter their minds. Society dictates that graduating high school should immediately be followed by higher education, and parents often encourage this idea. However, with rising tuition prices and a plunging economy, pushing your teen to attend college may no longer be the best choice.

Rising Tuition and Economic Decline

Attending college has always been an expense for which both parents and students have had to plan. Basic tuition plus books, campus activity fees, and expenditures for room and board add up fast. With the cost of higher education at an all-time high and still going up all the time, it’s worth considering whether or not college is the next logical step for your teen.
If your teen has little idea of what he or she wants to do for a living, attending college straight out of high school makes little sense. Without a clear goal in mind, all college has to offer are liberal arts courses that may or may not help toward a particular degree or professional field. Paying for these courses can essentially amount to paying for a directionless education, one that likely won’t be of use to teens as they move on in life.

Even teens who know what type of degree they want to pursue should think about whether it’s worth the cost. Four- and six-year degrees can wind up saddling kids with large amounts of student loan debt that may remain hanging over their heads long into the future. Students who get degrees online may face additional obstacles.

While online universities are growing rapidly, many people do not consider these schools to be a legitimate way to obtain a higher education. As such, if a perspective employer sees an online school mentioned on a resume, they may be less than impressed. Even if a student receives their education from a tradition brick-and-mortar institution, having a college degree no longer guarantees people a reliable career, especially with economies all over the world in a slump. There are so many people vying for available positions that there’s a good possibility your teen may emerge from college and not be able to get a job for months or years.

Parents and teens who are unaware of or don’t fully grasp the current economic situation may fall prey to what is being referred to as the “higher education bubble.” The belief that higher education is essential to getting a good job and will lead to the best possible careers for degree-holders pushes many people to spend a great deal of money on college. When coupled with easy access to student loans and the idea that expensive schools provide better quality education, this creates a situation where young people emerge from college with thousands of dollars in debt and no reliable way to pay it back. This in turn leads to more money being spent on loan payments and less going back into the economy, further fueling an already problematic decline.

Social and Academic Pitfalls

Teens who move straight from one academic environment to another often do so with little or no “real world” experience in between. While some teens may be able to handle this without a problem, those at lower maturity levels may be at risk for both social and academic reasons.
In the past, teens were expected to do more in the way of working and helping out their families, and these responsibilities helped them to grow both mentally and emotionally. Today’s teens spend more time immersed in media than any previous generation, a condition that keeps them disconnected from reality more often than not. A college environment creates its own brand of unreality, immersing students in academic activities and social situations that don’t exist anywhere else.

As a parent, it is of paramount importance to become familiar with the situations your teen may encounter at college. For some teens, college is the first time that they’re away from home, unsupervised by parents and other authority figures. This newfound level of freedom can lead to poor choices, especially when presented with a social structure that supports and often encourages drinking, substance abuse, and sexual experimentation.

Moving directly from high school to college also keeps teens immersed in academia. Attending class and completing assignments in a timely manner teaches responsibility and time management, but how many teens really grasp these skills in a way that will be useful once they enter the workforce? And how many real life skills are kids learning during the time they spend as students? Being academically intelligent doesn’t necessarily mean that your teen will have the knowledge to take on life’s challenges or tackle everyday tasks. Some things can’t be learned at school, and your teen will have to pick up on basic life skills whether or not he or she completes a higher education.

Alternate Plans
Teens who decide not to go to college right away should have some kind of alternate plan. Working with your teen to come up with such a plan can help him or her make the most of time that would otherwise be spent in school. Many positive, enriching things may be accomplished during this time, including:

• Getting “real world” work experience and saving money towards future academic endeavors.
• Exploring career options and learning what’s really involved in different jobs.
• Checking out vocational training, internships and other hands-on learning situations.

Taking the time to do these things offers teens the chance to gain knowledge not available to them at college. Going out into the world and seeing how everything works is an invaluable experience that can help when choosing a major in the future. Teens may even find that there are job opportunities they never considered that don’t require a college degree.

Pushing teens to attend college directly after high school isn’t always in their interest. Changes in the job market and the economy make it prudent to consider alternative options. Whether your teen waits to go to school or decides to do something else entirely, challenging the ideas of traditional education may be a great benefit to his or her future.

Byline: Lindsey Wright is fascinated with the potential of emerging educational technologies, particularly the online school, to transform the landscape of learning. She writes about web-based learning, electronic and mobile learning, and the possible future of education. Contact her at lindswright82@gmail.com.

Teen Drinking: Summer is Here -More Free Time-Be an Educated Parent

2011-06-20T06:31:00.000-07:00

What is your teen doing this summer?

Summer Time and Alcohol-Related Crimes: What Your Teen Needs to Know About Under Age Drinking

The summer is here which means the “party season” is now in full force. And while the time off of school is a great way for teenagers to rejuvenate and have some fun, those who are thinking about partaking in underage drinking this summer should think twice before doing so—underage drinking is a crime and can result in jail time, pricey fines, probation and can result in death.

In fact, according to experts May through August are the most deadliest months for teenagers between the ages of 15 and 19 due to underage drinking and driving. While you can’t watch your teens like a hawk at these summer parties, you can warn them of the repercussions that may arise if they decide to participate in underage drinking. Even you, the parent, can in trouble for giving your under age teen “access” to alcohol. With that said, to learn some the different alcohol-related crimes and to learn the consequences your teen (or you) may face, continue reading below.

Minor in Possession (MPI)
If a person who is under the legal drinking age is caught consuming an alcoholic beverage, appears to be intoxicated due to alcohol remnants on one’s breath, or is caught with an open or even an unopened container of alcohol, he or she is breaking the law. While each state has its own regulations, typically if a juvenile has a blood alcohol content of a mere .01, he or she can be charged with a misdemeanor offense, which is a crime punishable up to a $500 ticket, six months of jail time, and up to six months of license suspension (even if he or she is not caught in a moving vehicle); those who are under 17 years of age can have their license suspended for a longer period of time. However, if he or she is a first offender, chances are he or she will only need to pay a hefty fine and register for an alcohol awareness program. A minor may have to undergo probation as well, but that heavily depends on the circumstances and whether he or she is a first offender or not. Note that an MPI can possibly affect your teen’s chances of getting accepted into college or graduate school.

MPI & Driving Under the Influence
Just about every state has a zero tolerance law when it comes to drinking and driving, but minors are subject to experience even more fierce consequences. If a minor is caught driving behind the wheel and is intoxicated, her or she is committing a crime. Typically it is considered a misdemeanor if no one is injured, but if someone is harmed or the worse scenario occurs (someone is killed) the crime will be considered a felony and punishment will double. But if a minor is a first offender and no one is injured, he or she can expect a punishment of up to a $1,000 fine, up to 30 days in jail, and up to a one year of driver’s license suspension. Additional punishment may include the installation of an ignition interlock device on his or her vehicle, registration for an alcohol awareness program, community service, and and/or probation. Like with an MPI, a DUI can really affect your teen’s acceptance to college or graduate school.

Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor
If you are the type of parent that if given a choice would rather your teen drink under your supervision so that you can have a watchful eye, know that you may get into trouble as well, especially if you allow their friends to condone in the same behavior. This is because those that over the age of 21 and freely serve or purchase minors alcohol are committing a crime. Even if you give your teen and his or friend’s easy access to alcoholic beverages—meaning your alcohol is just right there in the open for the taking or you give your teen permission to throw a party and while you’re locked upstairs in your room your teen and friends are boozing it up downstairs—you could be charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Although just a misdemeanor (if no one is injured) you can be ticketed up to $1,000 and spend up to 6 months in jail.

Author's Bio:
Nancy Farrell is a freelance writer and blogger. She regularly contributes to criminal justice schools, which discusses about child abuse, human rights, divorce, and crime related articles. Questions or comments can be sent to: nancy.farrell13@gmail.com.

Legal Pot: Is it Being Sold on Amazon?

2011-06-14T10:51:00.000-07:00

'Legal Pot,' Made in China, Sold To U.S. Kids

If you missed ABC News recent report on fake pot, also known as spice, you need to take the time to learn about this today and now. Teens are dying - yes, dying from this.

High school students use "legal marijuana" or "herbal incense," marketed as K2, Spice and Potpourri, to get high because the products are legal, easily available and do not show up on drug tests.

According to ABC News, the products have spurred more than 4,000 calls to poison control centers around the country since 2010 and have been linked to deaths. The parents of 18-year-old David Rozga of Indianola, Iowa say their son committed suicide after he smoked K2 and became overwhelmed with anxiety.

"He just continued to become agitated -- indicating that he felt like he was in hell," said David's father Mike Rozga.

Detective Sergeant Brian Sher, who investigated Rozga's death for the Indianola police department, is adamant that smoking K2 is the only thing that could have triggered the suicide.

"I want people to know that," said Sher. "There are nay-sayers, but I can say definitively there's just nothing in the investigation to show that. Given what we know about K2 and Spice, David's anxiety, his feeling like he was in hell, has happened in many other cases."

Wake up parents, this is accessible and available through websites as credible as Amazon. An ABC News investigation found these products available on-line and at stores for anywhere from $15 to $85. Amazon.com did not respond to requests for comment.

Continue reading on Examiner.com Legal pot for sale on Amazon? Is your teen at-risk? - Jacksonville Parenting Teens | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/parenting-teens-in-jacksonville/legal-pot-for-sale-on-amazon-is-your-teen-at-risk#ixzz1Otj2OINP

Parenting Teens: Common Mistakes Parent's Make

2011-06-08T06:29:00.000-07:00

Major misconception of parents: Almost all parents that contact us have that next Einstein or Dan Marino, but the fact they are either changing friends, smoking pot, not attending classes or school at all, wanting to drop out of school all together and just get a GED, are all signs you are heading down a very negative path. This road usually escalates before it gets better.

Teen Help Advisers are here to help educate you with sound and objective resources and options. Contact us today.

When therapy isn't working anymore, what can you do?

When a parent is reaching their wit's end, they are most at risk for making mistakes - mistakes that can cost them financially as well as emotionally.

TEEN HELP ADVISERS offers over 25+ years of combined experience in the teen help industry, which is a big business!

Teen Friendships: 10 Ways to Destroy Friendships

2011-06-05T13:35:00.000-07:00

Friends are such an important part of life. Next to our families, our friends can be one of the most cherished relationships any of us can have. That doesn’t mean we are all great at being friends. It also doesn’t mean that, we will always do what will keep a friendship lasting for a lifetime.

Real friendships can be a challenge to keep intact, but so rewarding when we do so. However, there are times when we just seem to do the wrong thing way too often, and end up destroying a friendship.

Here are ten ways that we often ruin friendships unintentionally.

Being too needy. Everyone has emergencies and crises that come into our lives. When we do, it is wonderful to have a friend who will listen and help. If we are always in the person in the needy position and seldom in the helping position, it can become emotionally draining for our friends.
Criticism. No one enjoys constantly being ridiculed and criticized. Finding fault with everything someone does will not help to endear them to us. Unless we balance our criticism with some positives, they are likely to withdraw from us.
Treating someone as a tool. There is nothing wrong with asking for help from time to time. But if someone comes away thinking the only reason you ever spend time with them is to get something from them, they will move on to those who actually care about them as a person, and not just for what they can give.
Give your relationship no value. If every time you want to spend time with someone they have other more important things to do, it won’t be long before you’ll stop trying. There is nothing friendly or inspiring about always feeling you don’t count in someone else’s view.
Being obsessed with needing compliments. We all need to be encouraged at times when we feel down. But pestering someone to constantly keep telling you that you are great or good at something will get old very fast. It won’t take much for a friend to get tired of holding your hand to make sure you feel good about yourself if it becomes a daily need.
Being overly irritable. Who really enjoys being around someone who is in a bad mood? When you can’t say anything that doesn’t upset them? If the person is always grouchy and is unable to have a conversation without complaining about life, their friends will start seeking out more pleasant company.
Gossip about your friend to others. Telling things told to you in confidence is very hurtful when others find out. In addition, making negative comments about your friend can also be very upsetting, if they are heard from a third person. Once that trust is gone, it isn’t easy to regain.
Involving others in your disagreements. It is one thing to have disagreements with a friend. However, if you invite others into the conflict to side with you against the other person, you may find yourself winning a battle and losing a friend.
Too much attention. Too much attention can be as bad as too little. It can strain the joy of the time you do spend together. Too much of a good thing can make us grow tired of it. The same is true of people. We all need to feel cared about, but no one wants to be smothered by your constant presence.
Waiting for real pals. It can really hurt a friend’s feelings if you talk about someone else all the time and how much fun they are to be with. It can be hard not to see that as a negative comparison.

Teens Hooking-Up: Teen Slang Parents Should Know

2011-05-26T10:10:00.000-07:00

Summer flings are around the corner as school is almost over for the year. What will your teen be doing this summer? Who will they be hanging with?

Parents, it is time you get in the know!

Have you ever wondered where certain expressions come from? Me too, which is why cliches and figures of speech have become a hobby of mine. Well, since it’s springtime, traditionally a time for romance, why not have a look at some expressions for getting together (wink-wink)?

Great! Here’s a list of 10 slang terms for “hooking up”, and their origins.

Discussing Uganda – This one is credited to the British magazine Private Eye, a satirical publication that has a tradition of coining such euphemisms. It stems from an incident at a party where a female
journalist used the term to explain her absence during a brief sexual rendezvous upstairs, reportedly at the time when Idi Amin and his Ugandan regime predominated the news.
Friends With Benefits – A relationship wherein the partners are not romantically involved, and who would characterize their relationship essentially as a friendship, which includes consensual but non-committal sex ( the “benefits” part). The earliest reference of the phrase in this context that I could find is in the 1996 Alanis Morissette song, Head Over Feet.
Starter Marriage – A term referring to a marital hook-up, meaning a first marriage of short duration and with no children. It’s a play on the expression “starter home” whose popularity is credited to a book by Pamela Paul, The Starter Marriage and the Future of Matrimony.
To Know in the Biblical Sense – A euphemism for having sexual relations. Taken, as the term implies, from the Bible, as in Genesis 4:1 -”And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived…”
Making the Beast with Two Backs – Another sexual euphemism, this one from Shakespeare’s Othello, act 1, scene 1: Iago: I am one, sir, that comes to tell you your daughter and the Moor are now making the beast with two backs.
Tying the Knot – Marriage has long been associated with such metaphorical imagery of binding ties or knots. This phrase is said to have originated with a Roman custom where the bride wore a girdle which had knots that the groom would need to untie before consummating the union.
Jumping the Broom – In some cultures (Welsh and Gypsy, for instance), it is a ceremonial tradition for the groom and bride to literally jump over a broomstick, or a flowering branch of broom (evergreen shrub).
Painting the Town Red – This expression for spending an evening in revelry can be traced to Henry Beresford, the 3rd Marquess of Waterford, who quite literally painted the town of Melton Mowbray red to celebrate a successful fox hunt.
Booty Call – A modern-day reference to a request for casual sex; derived from the sexual term for a woman’s derriere, it means a call made to a prospective partner for the purpose of hooking up in order to have sex, or the act itself.
And, inevitably, we have sexual euphemisms derived from this age of the internet, including a favorite of mine which needs no explanation … Putting YouTube into MySpace.

Source: Top Dating Sites

Teens Failing in School: Teen Help

2011-05-18T15:32:00.000-07:00

This is the time of year parents are calling - their teen is failing, hanging out with the wrong peer group, possibly using drugs or drinking, and even running away.

Over the past few weeks the increase of calls relating to teen runaways is disturbing. Many of these parents believe that finding a good two-week summer program will fit this issue. What parents don't understand is it took longer than two weeks to get to this point, it will certainly take longer to determine where this is stemming from.

Are you a parent that is considering a Wilderness Program for the summer? Think twice again. This can be a very, very expensive camping trip and a band-aid that will soon fall off once school opens again.

As a matter of fact, Wilderness programs will tell you about 4 weeks into it (usually at $400 a day or more) - that your teen will need a longer term program following this camping journey. Seriously - parents, you may be at your wit's end - but think about this? Why?

Why not start and finish with a program that can firmly help your teen with long term results - short term programs, short term results.

Parents that believe that they will "shock" their teen into appreciating what they have are sorely mistaken.

If you are struggling with your teenager, visit www.helpyourteens.com and get some sound advice. Don't get sucked into a summer program or Wilderness journey that will most likely only scratch the surface.

Teen Texting - Parent Communication

2011-05-12T05:53:00.000-07:00

"TXT 2 Connect with Teens"
Parenting teenagers today can be a challenge - and one of the biggest hurdles is parents keeping technically in touch! Do you text yet? Believe it or not it can help with communicating with your teen. This doesn't replace speaking with them, but can get you an answer fast and easy.

A Great Way to Connect
• You get quick responses from your kids.
• Kids are more apt to respond to text messages than phone calls when they’re with their friends.
• Help your child gain independence while still staying connected.
• Text messaging can be used to strengthen parent child bonds, and it can let kids know their parents are thinking of them.

The ABCs of Texting
• Take out vowels.
• Replace words with symbols and numbers.
• Use sounds to represent words.
• Use abbreviations and common words.
• Don’t use all caps unless you are mad.

A Parent’s Guide to Texting

For more information on how to stay safe with AT&T, please visit www.att.com/safety.

Popular Text Messaging Lingo

• CUL8R = See you later
• TY = Thank you
• IMO = In my opinion
• CYR MA/PA = Call your mother/father
• DBL84DNR = Don’t be late for dinner
• KIT = Keep in touch
• TTYL = Talk to you later
• POS = Parents over shoulder
• PIR = Parents in Room
• P911 = Parent alert
• KPC = Keeping parents clueless

Text messaging is a central force in the way tweens and teens connect with each other.
To stay in better touch with their kids, parents can embrace the texting trend.

How to Send a Text Message

• Choose the “text” option on your phone’s main menu.
• Type your message using the key pad
• Enter the 10-digit wireless phone number address of recipient.
• Hit send!

Read more.

Teen Dating Tips - Be safe and have fun!

2011-05-04T05:56:00.000-07:00

Make is a safe date.

Dating can be a fun and great time for you as a teenager. The first teen dating tip is the most important. It is totally possible to maintain good standards while having a good time. In fact, you will have more fun when you do. The easiest way to do this is look for and date people who have the same high standards as you do. The bad boy or girl may look intriguing, however the fun wears off really quickly.

Manners matter when you are dating, especially as a teenager. Always remember your ‘pleases’ and ‘thank yous’ with the person you are out with. There is nothing more annoying than an ungrateful date. The second teen dating tip is to remember the golden rule: treat others like you want to be treated.

All of this aside, the following are some more great teen dating tips. Hopefully most of these will already be second nature, but if they are not it is a good time to start working on them.

Before The Date

~Asking the Person Out~ When you have found someone that you would like to go out with, practice asking them out (especially if you are nervous). When you have it mastered, just do it. You don’t have to come up with a fancy shmancy way to ask. A simple, “Do you want to go out on Friday?” is totally okay.

HINT: It is NOT good dating etiquette to show up in their driveway, call them on their cell phone and ask them out right then. Parents do not like this.

~Get a Group Together~ It is so much more fun to go out in a group, especially when you are just getting into the dating mix. A bunch of people can come up with so much more to do and talk about. It will also help with the nerves of the date.

~Take a Shower~ Truly… clean up and look nice for the person you have asked out or that has asked you out. Grooming is a good habit anyway, but take it to the next level for your date. Honestly, no one wants to go out with someone that just got done with team practice and smells like it.

HINT: Extra cologne and perfume do not cover up the smell of sweat….

~Know Where You Are Going and What You Are Doing~ This is good teen dating tip manners. You will be able to let the other person know what to expect. Also, they should know what kind of clothing and dress to pick out. Most importantly, when your date’s parents ask what you are doing, you will be able to give them a good answer. Very important.

HINT: Your date’s parents will know when you are not telling the truth…

The Date

~Picking Up Your Date~ Go up to the door to pick up your date. I don’t care how scared you are to meet your date’s parents… you need to do it! Man up! My father was a very scary man to boys who came to pick me up. Most of them left the house shaking. Yet, the ones who manned up and did it earned not only my respect, but his. The ones who didn’t were quite simply not good enough.

HINT: Honking your horn for your date shows fear and a lack of respect. DON”T DO IT.
~Be Yourself~ The reason why your date said yes to you is because of you. If you pretend to be someone else it will only get harder, especially if you spend more time with that person. Really, trying to be someone other than you is just a big fat lie you have to keep up…how exhausting.

HINT: It is so much more fun being the nerd you really are inside.

~Conversations~ Believe it or not, you will have to talk to your date. It is a good idea to have a list of things in mind that are interesting about that person that you want to know more about. Ask questions and then listen to what they say. Answer questions you are asked. This is good manners.

HINT: Don’t sit and talk about yourself the entire night… boring.

~Put the Electronics Away~ You are out with someone to have fun with, talk to and have adventures. It is impossible to do any of this if your ear buds are in, attached to your text conversation or chatting with your friends on the phone. Unplug for the night.
~Respect Curfew~ Nothing good happens after curfew. Your date’s parents have a very good reason they want their son or daughter home by a certain time. Even if you don’t understand it, respect it. Chances are, if you do, you will be allowed to see your date again.

HINT: Being in the driveway ‘chatting’ in the car is not respecting curfew. Your date needs to be in the house for it to count.

~Respect Yourself~ Unfortunately there are times when your date is not very respectful of who you are and your standards. If this ever occurs, it is important that you remember: IT IS OKAY TO SAY NO AND MEAN IT. Stand up for yourself. Get out of the car. Walk away, get somewhere safe, and call someone. No one is worth giving up who you are inside.

~The Doorstep~ Every date has to come to an end. Remember curfew? Walk your date to the doorstep. This does not mean that you have to kiss them, it just means that you want to see them safely inside. Let your date know you had a good time (if you really did). Only tell them you are going to call them if it is the truth. Otherwise your date will be agonizing and staring at the phone for the next few days. Give their parents a break and be honest about calling this person.

Hopefully these teen dating tips will give you an idea of what to do when you are out with someone. My mom always used to say to me, “Remember who you are, use your manners and have fun.” She knew what she was talking about. Enjoy!

Source: Modern Manners and Etiquette

Netiquette is the New Etiquette

2011-04-26T09:16:00.000-07:00

Your virtual resume is your first step.

Summer is almost here and it can be a time when teens want to make their own money.

With today's struggling economy having an extra income can certainly help in many ways. As school in Broward County will be coming to an end shortly, the time is now to start looking for a summer job.
Many jobs can be found online, however going into your community and networking is always beneficial.

Today networking can be done both online and off.

As our lives become more and more involved with the internet, we have to become more aware of our web presence.

Netiquette, the etiquette of the internet, is of more importance now than it ever has been before. With online classes, online job profiles, and online dating, the way we conduct ourselves online impacts every aspect of our lives. In the online world, our communication skills are tested. The only means of communication we have on the web is through the written word, which can cause several complications. For this reason, it is imperative to communicate clearly and professionally in all online arenas. The following netiquette rules will guide a job seeker in the world of professional internet use.

Be Professional: While this notion encompasses almost all of what we will discuss, being professional in email correspondence means more than the words you use and the tone you convey. Something as simple as the email address you use can mar even the most well written message. When sending an email on a serious matter it is important that you appear serious on all fronts. If the email address you are sending from sounds silly or joking, it will reflect poorly upon you and can demean your professional credibility. Now, we realize that this advice may sound dated. After all, who uses the email address surferchick22@something.com anymore? But, we believe that this notion is important enough to repeat, even if it is archaic. As a tip for today's users, sending an email to a potential employer from a dot edu or a dot org email address can give you more credibility. For one thing, using a school or organization email address proves that the educational or professional information on your resume is true.
Evaluate Your Tone: Deciding on an appropriate tone of voice to use in internet communication can be difficult. Because emailing can be so impersonal, people can sometimes come off in a manner that is more informal or harsh than they intend. When writing an email from the comfort of your own home, it can be easy to slip into an overly conversational tone or a tone that sounds too direct when in writing. Because email correspondence is so quick and easy, people often send off their thoughts without properly reviewing them. Often times, people will send an email without reading it over and evaluating the way the language sounds when read by the recipient. For this reason, it is important to judge what tone is appropriate for that particular correspondence before you begin and read over the message when you are done to make sure that it accurately conveys the desired tone. When communicating with an employer about an open position or an interest in the company, it is always important to sound positive and friendly. Thank the individual you are emailing for their time and express that you look forward to hearing back from them.
Use Proper Language and Titles: Another essential aspect of professional emailing etiquette is a writing a proper greeting. Be sure to include a greeting that is both courteous and official when conversing with any individual in any professional setting. Always address the individual you are speaking to with the appropriate level of formality and (though it may sound silly) be sure you have spelled their name correctly. Do not address them as you would a friend. For example, it is not appropriate to simply right "hi" or "hey" at the beginning of an email. Always address whomever you are speaking to with their official title (whether it is Dr., Mr., or Mrs.). If you are unsure of what the individual's official title is default to Mr. or Mrs. to be safe. If the individual replies to you and has used his or her first name only, then it is safe to assume you can call them by their first name. However, to be safe and remain professional, it may be wise to refer to that person as Mr. or Mrs. through all email correspondence.
Use Effective Communication: This tip is key to all aspects of writing and (of course) takes some practice. Writing effective, clear messages can be difficult at first. You must be thoughtful and careful with your language. Try to be as clear and concise in your email correspondence as possible. Once you have completed your message read (and reread) it before you click send. Be sure to define and restate your words when you think necessary. Keep in mind that if something sounds unclear to you it will certainly be unclear to your reader. Within the same notion, be mindful of the words you use and the phrases that you write. As discussed earlier, it can be difficult to determine tone in writing, so if you use a phrase that is dependent upon inflection when spoken it is probably not the best choice for written correspondence.
Ask for Clarification: Never assume you know the intention of an email if you are unsure. It is important to ask the sender to clarify anything that confuses you. As discussed earlier, it is easy to misinterpret emails because tone can sometimes be difficult to determine. If you think that you are misunderstanding something the other individual is saying or that you have misinterpreted their tone, just ask. It is always safer to send a quick email asking for clarification then it is to email a reply that you are not completely confident about. A potential employer will appreciate your responsiveness and maturity when dealing with confusion. Be sure to place the reason for confusion on yourself and not the sender. You do not want to come off as accusatory or blaming. A simple way to do this is to write, "I did not understand�", keeping the burden for the misunderstanding on yourself. Accepting blame also displays a level of maturity and confidence that is important within the professional world.
Do Not Over-Send: While sending emails asking for clarification is important, it is also important that you use restraint when emailing. Do not clog an individual's inbox with messages that are not completely necessary. Be sure to reread the message you are having trouble understanding and make sure that you have no way of answering the question on your own. Although it can be difficult at times, you must consider that emailing is the same as having a face-to-face conversation. Every message you send is taking time from someone's day. You do not want to waste anyone's time or suggest to them that you do not consider their time valuable by over-sending emails.
Write Appropriate Subject Lines: The subject line of an email, next to your name, is the first thing the recipient sees. For this reason, it is one of the most important (and most difficult) aspects of writing an email. It is important to convey a message in this line that is clear, concise, and informative. Give the recipient the bottom line of the message they are about to read without giving a complete summary of the entire email. Be precise and include details that allow the recipient to identify what you are talking about quickly and unambiguously. As a job seeker who is emailing a potential employer, never leave the subject line of an email blank. It is important to standout to the employer you are corresponding with. You want to grab their attention (in a professional manner) without looking too showy. Employers seeking new employees likely receive dozens and dozens of emails a day. Many will completely disregard an email sent without a subject.
Use Proper Grammar and Spelling: It is endlessly important to use proper grammar and spelling in emails. Slipping into an overly conversational tone can be easy when communicating through email. While informal emails are fine when conversing with friends and family, you should always speak with potential employers in a professional manner. Messages that utilize poor grammar and have several misspelled words, demonstrate carelessness. If you do not take the time to edit your emails before you send them it will imply that you do not value the recipient's time. Quite simply, an email with poor grammar and bad spelling will not be taken seriously.
Sell Yourself: Going hand-in-hand with using proper grammar and spelling, it is important to look good when seeking a job online. In today's techno-savvy world, many companies require job seekers to create an account or profile in order to apply for a position. In this profile, individuals should "sell" themselves to their potential employer. Your writing is the main thing that you will be judged by online (because, for the most part, it is the only thing available). Make yourself look good online by demonstrating professional writing etiquette. Be sure to display your strengths in these profiles. Also, it is important that any profiles that already exist online reflect you in a positive and professional manner. If you have a Facebook (or MySpace) account, be sure to make it display you in a positive and professional light or make it completely private and hidden from potential employers.
Be Honest: While "selling yourself" in an online job profile is important to landing the position you desire, you must also be careful to remain completely honest. Because the world of the internet is faceless, it can be easy to fabricate information and think that you will get away with it. For many reasons, lying online can get you into more trouble than admitting your weaknesses (true in all aspects of life). Demonstrating your strengths and acknowledging your weaknesses shows a potential employer that you are willing and able to grow.

Continue reading on Examiner.com: 10 Netiquette rules every job seeker should know - Fort Lauderdale Parenting Teens | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/parenting-teens-in-fort-lauderdale/10-netiquette-rules-every-job-seeker-should-know#ixzz1Ke8h3BA5

10 Quick Tips To Keep Your Kids Safe on Facebook

2011-04-19T07:15:00.000-07:00

Do you know who your kids are meeting online?

Facebook turned 7 years old this month. Hard to believe that a college student and his buddies invented it and now it has spread so quickly that more than 40% of the U.S. population has a Facebook account. Talk about going viral.

While this social network phenomenon started out as a tool for college kids, it has rapidly grown to include a younger and younger audience. Facebook rules state that a user must be 13 years or older to have a Facebook account. However, there is no way to verify this so there are many kids that are younger than that with their own accounts.

How do you protect your kids from the questionable material on Facebook?

Don’t let them get an account. Now, this may sound obvious, but it’s the truth. The best way to protect your kids is to make sure they don’t have an account before they are old enough.
Make sure your child friends you. You need to watch what your child is posting on their friends’ walls and what kind of stuff is being posted on their wall.
Make sure your child only friends people they know in real life. Anyone can send you a friend request if you are a friend of a friend etc. This can be an open invitation for predators.
Discuss boundaries with your child. Your child needs to know that he/she should not post any personal information online. No reference to their full name, name of their school, their address or their birthday.
Limit your child’s access to the computer. Computers are a way of life, but as a parent you want to be able to monitor what your child is doing on the computer. Make sure the computer is in a central location like the living room or office.
Invest in parental control software that monitors your child’s computer activity. You can’t always be with your child. If you have software like that specializes in monitoring your child's keystrokes, you can see exactly what your child is doing on the computer and on Facebook accounts even if you aren’t home.
Do not allow your kids to post pictures. Pictures lead to online bullying and sometimes too much information. What if your child posts a picture from his soccer game? Seems innocent enough, but this gives out personal information that may put children at risk from a predator.
Allow your child to use your Facebook account. This may sound funny, but if they aren’t posting under their own name they may be more conscientious. Plus, you will indeed have access to see everything they have posted.
Make sure you have their passwords. There is no such thing as privacy in your house. You should have their e-mail password as well as their Facebook password.
Make sure you set the privacy settings on Facebook. Facebook will show your phone number and other personal information if you don’t turn it off. Make sure you are there to help your child set up their account.

Source: Internet Provider

Read more.

Teenage Drinking is Underage Drinking

2011-04-12T08:54:00.000-07:00

Teen Drinking is illegal.

April is Alcohol Awareness Month, it is also a time when proms and graduation party plans are underway. Teen drinking is illegal – don’t be fooled by home parties.

A modest meeting amongst friends on campus can be enhanced immeasurably with the introduction of a fun, buzz-inducing drinking game. Of course, drinking in general is associated with the college experience, in which young adults assert their independence by going buck wild. Such behavior usually comes with the lack of a true understanding of the consequences of alcohol, and thus reckless behavior — albeit fun behavior — ensues. Consequently, some drinking games can turn a lively shindig into a deadly or at least vomit-inducing debacle. Here are a few to avoid if you value the function of your liver (or eyeball).

Vodka Eyeballing: Originating in the UK, the Vodka Eyeballing craze has spread across the Atlantic Ocean thanks to YouTube, and now it’s catching on with numbskull American teens and college students. Unlike other drinking games, the feared repercussion isn’t alcohol poisoning; it’s the potential of losing eyesight. Vodka eyeballers test their eyeball’s strength by pouring vodka directly onto it with the purpose of achieving a quicker buzz. The results can be less than pleasant, however, as the potent liquor causes the removal of eye’s protective membrane covering, burning and scarring the cornea.
Power Hour: Partaking in Power Hour is a great way to end the night drowning in a pool of your own vomit. Traditionally, participants in the game take a shot of beer each minute for 60 minutes, ending the hour completely sloshed — if they’re not sloshed much earlier. The rate of consumption at which participants are required to drink can be very unhealthy, especially if they’re small in size. The rapid increase in blood alcohol content ensures a quicker buzz, thus making the game an extremely difficult one to conquer.
21 for 21: Power Hour has inspired a couple of offshoot games — 21 for 21 and 60 Seconds, neither of which are any less dangerous. In the case of 21 for 21, it exclusively occurs on a participant’s 21st birthday, a night of heavy drinking regardless of whether or not drinking games are involved. At the behest of one of their friends, the birthday boy or girl downs 21 shots of liquor or mixed drinks. It’s a way to celebrate a rite of passage, making the most of their first night of legal drinking. But overdoing it can trigger tragic results; there are numerous documented cases of people dying of alcohol poisoning on their 21st birthdays, including one who apparently played 21 for 21.
60 Seconds: Sixty Seconds is the game of choice for wannabe speed drinkers looking to prove their mettle while in the presence of their drinking buddies. Each player selects a number between one and 60, chugging a pint continuously for a minute when the second hand on the clock passes their number. The game proceeds until there’s one person left standing, which usually is the problem. Just like its forerunner Power Hour, 60 Seconds causes each player’s blood alcohol content to rise quickly, and as you probably know, rapid consumption can produce dire results.
Edward Fortyhands: When Edward Fortyhands was “in” on college campuses a few years ago, it was met with resistance by opponents of youth alcohol abuse. Notably, the chairman of the Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, Joseph Califano, made it explicitly clear that participants could be rewarded with a trip to the morgue. The game — if you’re not already familiar with it — is a race in which each participant strives to finish two forty-ounce bottles of malt liquor that are duct-taped to their hands. The inability of participants to use their hands, particularly when they need to use the bathroom, motivates them to finish fast. In some circles, upon finishing, participants must break the bottles to free themselves. So not only do they face the danger of quickly chugging a beverage with high alcohol content, but, while in their drunken stupors, their hands become recklessly operated weapons equipped with shards of glass.
Beat the Barman: You may notice that most games on this list are simple and to the point. None of them require a lot of thinking — just a lot of booze. Set in your favorite not-so-crowded bar, Beat the Barman involves cash, a cool bartender, quick drinking and that’s it. Each participant separately orders a shot from the bartender, pays in more cash than its worth, and finishes it off before the bartender returns with change. The process repeats until a drinker falls over or the bar closes. In other words, there really are no winners; alcohol poisoning is a distinct possibility. Beat the Barman is also dangerous because the participants, in most cases, partake in the game at a bar that?s beyond walking distance from home.
Beer Race: A singe match of Beer Race won’t cause major harm to a participant, but nobody plays just one match — and therein lies the problem. Each participant chugs a full pint of beer hoping to finish first, proving their superior manhood or womanhood — usually manhood. The first finisher indicates they’re the winner by putting their empty glass on their head, and everyone else must follow by doing the same with their unfinished glasses. In most cases, the competitive spirits of the participants override reason, and they play until they’re lying unconscious in a pool of their own vomit — pools of vomit are common parts of these games — ironically stripping them of their manly or womanly pride.
Kill the Keg: Once “Kill the Keg!” is screamed by a fellow partygoer, participation is immediate and mandatory. A few lucky guys and gals line up at the keg and down the remaining beer goodness. Of course, the actual luckiness of the guys and gals is highly dependent on when “Kill the Keg!” is yelled and how many thirsty people are attending the party. If partygoers are called to action at 9 p.m., for example, when just a handful of people are hanging around and the keg is full, then the game is much, much less enjoyable.
Dead Man Walk: If your primary goal is to get messed up as quick as possible, ignoring the process by which you reach that end, then Dead Man Walk is the game for you. The title is self-explanatory: participants take a drink for each step they make, seeing who can walk the farthest without face-planting. Because someone inevitably does faceplant, the game yields painful results. The authors of the game — drinking game authors are always looking out for the greater good — urge participants not to drink spirits, as the use of them “will probably result in a premature death.” Sound advice.
Death Ring: Death Ring is a fittingly ominous title. The rules of the game are slightly complicated, so we’ll refrain from detailing them here, but they are included in the link. Hopefully, the people dumb enough to partake in it are also too dumb to consistently follow the rules. The game requires a deck of cards and a few cases of beer, which tend to disappear quickly as each player takes about umpteen drinks during each of their turns. If participants escape death, they’ll undoubtedly wake up the next day feeling like death.

Read more.

Teen Internet Addiction: Facebook Depression or Obsession

2011-04-07T05:55:00.000-07:00

Depression. Obsession. Addiction.

Are these three adjectives that surround social networking?

Social networking is on the rise, a recently released study from The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) found that 22 percent of teenagers log onto their favorite social media sites more than 10 times a day, and that 75 percent own cell phones. This level of engagement online increases the risks of cyberbullying, “Facebook depression” (a new phenomenon where “de-friending” and online bullying lead to symptoms of depression), exposure to inappropriate content, and sexting.

What can parents do if they suspect their teen or child is heading down a dark road?

Looking at Facebook to begin with, is your teen age appropriate? You have to be at least 13 years-old to be a member. On Facebook's help center it clearly states: Facebook requires individuals to be at least 13 years old before they can create an account.

Facebook even takes it a step further with a report form to fill out if you suspect an underage member.
If your child is younger, it is wise to deactivate their account until they are of age or you feel they are ready for it.

It is important to help your child to understand, you are not attempting to block them 100% from social networking, however having boundaries is crucial.

These boundaries are what can help teenagers from going down the dark path of depression from over exposure of technology. Teens literally go to bed with their cell phones so they don't miss a text! This is ridiculous and parents need to start being parents.

Whether you have given the law of your home to your child or teen, or not, it is a serious and growing concern that parents need to be aware of. Teenage depression is very serious.

A note to parents: Be an example to your child. How often are you online or plugged in?

Troubled Teens Benefit from Animal Therapy

2011-04-04T06:32:00.000-07:00

Many benefits of animal therapy and at-risk teens.

Humans and animals share an ancient history of co-dependence, but this relationship extends far beyond domestication for food and labor purposes. The medical field, for example, utilized leeches and maggots for centuries, if not millennia. More modern times see a broader selection of animals helping their human partners through many different permanent and temporary conditions. Such admirable creatures as well as those taking the time to train them for the good of mankind rightfully deserve however many accolades people can give.

Physical Assistance
Easily the most common type of therapy animal — and probably the one that always pops into peoples’ heads — are those working as assistants to the disabled and elderly. Dogs make for especially adroit companions, and organizations such as Assistance Dogs International devote their time and resources to training these amazing animals to better serve those needing of their help. Most probably think of these venerable canines as guides for the blind, but they also assist those in wheelchairs, the elderly and individuals with other sensory or physical impairments who face down difficult times getting around. Although extremely common, dogs aren’t the only animals used to make life easier for the elderly and/or disabled. Monkeys, too, provide similar, though not identical, services. Their natural agility, dexterity and intelligence make them ideal for scrambling into out-of-reach spots for desired items. Many also learn how to feed and wash their human friends!

Emotional Therapy
Animal assistance and therapy completely transcends the merely physical. For those suffering mental and emotional trauma, the presence of a gentle animal helps quell some of the pain. While not a complete replacement for psychological care, allowing individuals with post-traumatic stress disorder to spend some time with a therapy dog, cat or horse provides an amazing supplement to routine treatment. Soldiers returning from war, for example, respond positively to their exposure to dogs — just petting, playing with and running alongside them fills them with the endorphins and energy necessary for healing. Beyond PTSD, therapy animals also provide warm companionship for the bipolar, depressed and anxious as well. Individuals with developmental disorders, such as autism, find some of their negative emotions soothed with exposure to horses. Also used in some physical therapy, these extraordinary equines play an integral role in helping people on the autism spectrum fortify their socialization skills. In addition to alleviating much of the depression and anxiety associated with the conditions, of course.

Everyday Perks
Simply owning a pet also offers up a couple of medical perks, even with animals without any kind of specialized training. Cats, for example, may help children with asthma improve their respiratory functions and lower cholesterol levels (and subsequently reduce the risk of a heart attack) — among other things. Along with relieving mental anguish associated with various psychological and developmental disorders, keeping a beloved pet of any species certainly makes life a whole lot less lonely. Many elder care facilities provide homes for animals eager to mingle with the patients and plaster big smiles on their faces. Oscar, a cat residing at the Steere House in Providence, Rhode Island, possesses the startling ability to sense when one of the residents is about to pass. Many of the patients suffer from dementia and great lonesomeness, and the little cat wanders into their rooms shortly before death to dispense solace. In the final moments of their lives, they feel love and gentle companionship rather than fear and isolation. And all thanks to the intuition of one inadvertent therapy animal.
Regardless of whether or not they receive any sort of formalized training, many different animals provide their human partners with more than just their friendship. Whether chewing up decaying flesh on a serious wound, helping a blind individual better navigate the streets, socializing an autistic child, comforting a dying elder or something else entirely, these amazing creatures make life that much better for often marginalized demographics. But their selfless efforts do not go unrewarded, at least in general. Gracious owners make sure companions receive sufficient shelter, love and nourishment as thanks for the enjoyment and assistance in making life flow just that much easier.

Special contributor: Roxanne McAnn of Nursing Schools

Visit www.TeenHelpAdvice.com for more information if you are struggling with your teen.

Medicine Cabinets and Your Teens: Good Meds, Bad Behavior

2011-03-27T07:55:00.000-07:00

Educational Icon

Parenting teens. Is there a job more challenging today?

From text lingo that can make you blush, to sex language that turns your stomach, there is no denying it - raising teenagers in today's techno and substance abuse generation is a struggle to keep up with.

Who would have thought that today's medicine cabinet could potentially be a danger zone?

Cough medicine abuse is a situation of 'good medicines, bad behavior.' The fact of the matter is that teen cough medicine abuse does not happen by accident; it involves intentionally taking large amounts of medication to get high. The ingredient in over-the-counter (OTC) cough medicines that teens are abusing is dextromethorphan, or DXM. While DXM-containing medicines are safe and effective when used as directed, they can be dangerous when abused in large amounts.

The makers of OTC cough medicines containing DXM have introduced an educational icon on their medicines’ packages. The icon helps raise awareness about the teen abuse of cough medicines and provides the StopMedicineAbuse.org website as a resource for more information. It also provides a great conversation starter with your teens about cough medicine abuse.

StopMedicineAbuse.org created Home to Homeroom Digest with valuable information about what today's teenagers are using and how to help prevent drug abuse. Education is the key to prevention and this website is full of priceless articles, tips and resources to help you be an educated parent.

Read more.

Defiant Teens: When Books and Therapy Doesn't Work

2011-03-23T08:48:00.000-07:00

Your teen or tween is starting to act in ways that are foreign to you. Whether they are hanging with peers that are less than desirable or starting to fail in school when you know they are more than capable. They are underachieving, they are good kids making some bad choices and slowly escalating into a person you barely recognize.

Many of us read those baby books before our first child came into the world – and after he or she arrived, we always opened a parenting book with answers and explanations. But when it comes to teenage time – it can be a totally different story!

Defiance is the tone of your home, and disrespect has become second nature.

First you try therapy or counseling, there has to be something physically wrong. In most cases, that is not the story. There usually isn't a pill to fix a teen that is spiraling out-of-control.

During these therapy sessions, you are gathering and reading as many parenting teen books as possible! Now you find a DVD that makes promises to turn your teen around in 30 days?! Really? Some books are excellent - seriously really good - and can help YOU cope, but what about your teen? Is it resolving these deeply root issues that are causing this negative behavior pattern?

No matter - you are desperate and willing to try whatever it takes. As a responsible parent this is what we have to do. However don't allow your emotions to take over as they did in my story.

Are you at your wit's end? Even read my book - "Wit's End!" - but still wondering how to move forward. Visit www.HelpYourTeens.com and find out more.

Good kid, bad choices: Parent Choices for Troubled Teens

2011-03-15T08:39:00.000-07:00

What happened to that sweet 5 year-old you sent off to Kindergarten?
What happened to that athletic tween that loved T-Ball?
What happened to my little angel that loved going to the mall with me?
What happened to my child that always worked so hard to get good grades and always worked to make me proud?

Where did my kind son go?

Where did their childhood go?

Today's society is challenging for teenagers - but can be even more distressful for their parents. When slowly they watch their good child turn into a tween or teen that they barely recognized. Underneath the questionable clothing, the piercings we had to reluctantly agree to - and the tattoos they got on their own - our child is deep in there somewhere!

After exhausting all local resources, whether it is an excellent adolescent therapist to local support groups and even out-patient facilities, you are looking at a teen that is heading down a dark road. It is time for parents to dig deep and find the strength to get their teen the help they need - unfortunately it usually is not at home.

Residential therapy is a big step and a step not to take lightly. Are you considering a Residential Treatment Center, Therapeutic Boarding School, Military School or other out of home options? Learn about the differences and find what is best for your teen - visit www.helpyourteens.com.

Read Wit's End! Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out-of-Control Teen today!

Bullying, Cyberbullying and Bystanders: Go Beyond Bullies

2011-03-09T05:05:00.000-08:00

Bullying, cyberbullying and teen deaths by suicide.

When will we get beyond bullying?

With many new organizations and anti-bullying groups forming, reaching beyond bullying is becoming a part of our culture.

In 2010, Beyond Bullies was founded by Melissa Sherman. She created the organization to give voice, confidence and hope to teens who feel depressed, alienated and alone because they are the targets of bullying and cyberbullying.

Beyond Bullies is the first online program in the United States, dedicated to helping teenagers who are the targets of bullying and cyberbullying, primarily through online and offline help from peer mentors.
E-Mentors is part of their program and it encourages teens to become mentors. Qualities of an E-Mentor are as follows:

Personal commitment to be involved with another person for an extended time — generally, one year at minimum. Mentors have a genuine desire to be part of other people’s lives, to help them with tough decisions and to see them become the best they can be. They have to be invested in the mentoring relationship over the long haul to be there long enough to make a difference.

Respect for individuals and for their abilities and their right to make their own choices in life. Mentors should not approach the mentee with the attitude that their own ways are better or that participants need to be rescued. Mentors who convey a sense of respect and equal dignity in the relationship win the trust of their mentees and the privilege of being advisors to them.

Ability to listen and to accept different points of view. Most people can find someone who will give advice or express opinions. It’s much harder to find someone who will suspend his or her own judgment and really listen. Mentors often help simply by listening, asking thoughtful questions and giving mentees an opportunity to explore their own thoughts with a minimum of interference. When people feel accepted, they are more likely to ask for and respond to good ideas.

Ability to empathize with another person’s struggles. Effective mentors can feel with people without feeling pity for them. Even without having had the same life experiences, they can empathize with their mentee’s feelings and personal problems.

Ability to see solutions and opportunities as well as barriers. Effective mentors balance a realistic respect for the real and serious problems faced by their mentees with optimism about finding equally realistic solutions. They are able to make sense of a seeming jumble of issues and point out sensible alternatives.

Flexibility and openness. Effective mentors recognize that relationships take time to develop and that communication is a two-way street. They are willing to take time to get to know their mentees, to learn new things that are important to their mentees (music, styles, philosophies, etc.), and even to be changed by their relationship.

South Florida has made too many headlines with stories of bullying and cyberbullying. From a young teen that was doused in alcohol and set on fire (Michael Brewer), to a young girl that was nearly beaten to death (Josie Ratley), Deerfield Beach has been scarred with these horrific events.

Is your school or community ready to employ a Beyond Bullies program? Visit www.BeyondBullies.org for more information. You can also follow Beyond Bullies on Twitter.

Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens.

Read more.

Swearing, Cussing: Where do your teens hear it from?

2011-03-05T05:08:00.000-08:00

In the baby's (teen's) ears and out of their mouth.

Swearing, cussing and meanness, that is how many school hallways are described. When does a teen start using these four letter words?

How can we move from a cussing culture of cruelty to one of compassion and caring?

McKay Hatch, 17 year-old California student created a No Cussing Club in 2007. Isn't it time that Broward County and others follow this lead?

Take the No Cussing Challenge, changing the world one word at a time...

The words we use affect how we feel about ourselves, how others react to us and how others feel about themselves. Our words truly shape our world.

Thousands of people have taken this challenge and told the No Cussing Club about the positive affect it has had in their lives.

Does cussing lead to bullying or instigate bullying? According to a recent NY Times article, some experts say the notion that cursing leads to bullying is misguided. The American Academy of Pediatrics recently added a section on bullying to its policy statement on the pediatrician’s role in preventing youth violence, but cursing was not mentioned.

Does your child swear? Do you? Be an example to your family. It will make a difference.

Read more.

Teen Help - Struggling Teens and Frustrated Parents

2011-03-01T07:47:00.000-08:00

Parents of at-risk teens have many common thoughts, here are some of them:

My daughter is so smart, she is highly intelligent.
My son is extremely handsome, very athletic and always had lots of friends.
My daughter is beautiful, was the captain of her cheerleading team etc….
My son has an IQ of 170, yet is failing.
My daughter wants to drop out of high school.
My son wants to get his GED and is not attending school.
My daughter made the varsity team and yet dropped out.
My son was swim captain and now was asked to leave the team. (He was caught with pot, but said it was his friends.
My daughter smokes pot, but it is only recreational.
My son likes to drink beer, but it isn’t all the time.

Excuses for parents:

It is the friends he/she is hanging with.
The teacher doesn’t like my son/daughter.
The school has zero tolerance.
His father isn’t around enough.
The coach expects too much.
If it wasn’t for this one neighbor, we wouldn’t have these issues.

Okay, these lists could go on for a long time but at the end of the day, week, month, year – it is YOUR son/daughter making the choice to hang with a certain friend, be a part of an undesirable peer group, and smoke that joint with a swig of alcohol!
Parents that continue to live in this ship of denial will end up with many regrets.
Parent that believe that sending their teen to a residential therapy program for help is a sign of their (the parent’s) failure, are very much mistaken.
Parents that hope and pray things will change – we only wish them the best, in some (very rare) situations, it will get better.
Parents that believe changing schools will make a difference, think twice.
Parents that literally move and believe things will change with a fresh start, think again.

Like adults that attempt to run from their problems, your teens are no different. If they are struggling now, chances are very good they will be struggling shortly after the change again.

You are not a failure, this is not your fault – and it is time to stop the blaming and start the healing. After exhausting all your local resources – it may be time to find outside help, and that can mean residential.
True, you don’t want to put your teen in a program that houses hard-core teens, but it is also true you need to find a program that has strong emotional growth (clinical), fully accredited academically (don’t miss out on an education), as well as the critical component of enrichment programs. You need to find the passion in your teen to help stimulate them to a positive direction in life.

Learn more by visiting www.helpyourteens.com.

Residential Treatment Centers (RTC), Therapeutic Boarding Schools (TBS), Emotional Growth Programs, Wilderness Programs, State Funded Programs, Programs for Low-Income, Boot Camps, Scared Straight Programs, Tough Love, Summer Camps, Short Term Programs, Traditional Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Reform Schools, JAIL.

Teen Debt: Educate Teens about Finances Early

2011-02-22T09:32:00.000-08:00

Graduation from college is coming up for many students and teens. With that, many have student loans and even credit card debt.

Combined with the stress of job hunting, having debt can be worrisome and cause anxiety. Will you ever catch up and pay it all off?

For Students and Recent Grads

Geared towards those who’ve just emerged from school or who are due to graduate soon, these finance blogs deal with a wide range of grad finance issues.

Studentnomics: This blog is all about helping young people like yourself pay off their students debts, save their money and enjoy living life in the real world.
The Frugal Law Student: Anyone with crushing school debt can understand the concerns of this law student struggling to save and make ends meet.
20 Something Finance: As you enter your 20s, you’ll learn more than a few things about personal finance. This blog is there to help you along the way.
Poorer Than You: Check out this site for posts on financial issues that affect students and young grads, like school debt, building net worth and much more.
Money Under 30: There are some money issues that are a lot more important to fresh grads and twenty-somethings than those over 30. Learn more about them on this site.
Grad Money Matters: Your education may have helped get you a job, but it doesn’t guarantee smarts when it comes to money. Learn more about financial issues that all grads should be worried about here.
Green Panda Treehouse: The financial articles on this blog are geared towards money issues that new grads face, from finding a first post-college job to paying off those horrible school debts.

Are you in Broward County? Find help with paying student loans and debt, click here.
Be an educated parent, pass it on to your teens.

Continue reading on Examiner.com: Money, money, money: Teaching teens to get out of debt early - Fort Lauderdale Parenting Teens | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/parenting-teens-in-fort-lauderdale/money-money-money-teaching-teens-to-get-out-of-debt-early#ixzz1Ei3b3kl3

Teen Motivation: How to Get Your Teen off the Couch

2011-02-17T09:03:00.000-08:00

"My teenager is brilliant! Highly intelligent, has the potential to make all A's but is barely bringing home C's! Help!"

This is a common complaint we hear about from many of today's parents. Teens do not recognize the importance of education and what it means to their future. As a matter of fact, we are seeing more adults going back for a higher education than ever before. Why? It is simple- education is the key to your financial future. Now we need to get our teenagers to understand this.

It is up to parents to set boundaries and set the example. We are not saying that teens are not allowed to have a social life, of course they are. We need them to find the balance.

Here are some great tips from Parents and Kids:

Start early on as possible as you can, set up reasonable goals, begin with small tasks and give them time to improve. For example, have the child state the goal, the grade on their upcoming report card for their classes, math, English, science, history, etc.
Tell your child that you love him/her and wish to help him/her to have a bright future, then start the conversation with patience on his/her daily school activities, homework, test, class projects, etc. Prepare to hear some “bad news”, if it did happen, do not be angry with him/her, be calm down and help your child find the problem and try to find a way to help him/her to solve the problem.
In order to build a strong work ethic, need to set some rules and ask your child to follow, be strict and tell him/her why. For example, finish homework before watching TV. Why? Homework is the key to understand and master what teachers taught, which leads to his/her success in school. This rule helps him/her be stronger on self-control as well.
Encourage and praise the child wisely, not too much, otherwise would mislead him/her to think he/she is the best. Namely, let him/her know that the best needs continuous learning, although did a good job today, need do better tomorrow.
Teach your child to have passion for learning new knowledge by showing fun stuff for the project and try to get his/her interest.
Tell your child successful stories. Help them to understand to get a good education and succeed in school is one of the most important things for his/her life.
Tell your child to make friends with those who are successful in school. Do your best to get your child into a good school, because a healthy competition environment challenges the kid and help him/her to develop better.
Introduce some real role models to your kids, who fighting hard with difficulties and succeeded at last, gained people’s respect. Help him/her to learn that if we suffer a set back, we don’t give up. Instead, we try harder.
Just like parenting, motivating your children is a life-long job. Keep investing your time, efforts to motivate your kids no matter how busy you are, because it is the most important investments in your life. Kids are our future!

If you feel your teen has reached a level that is not productive and they are going down a very negative path, contact www.helpyourteens.com to find resources that could help you and your family.

Read more.

Who is Your Teen Hanging With?

2011-02-13T10:40:00.000-08:00

Do you know your teen's friends?

What to Do When Your Teen Falls in with the Wrong Crowd

The transition from junior high into high school is a big one for your teen, and it often leads to significant changes in your teen's circle of friends. The friends that you're used to your teen hanging around may drift away as they get involved with different things in high school, and your teen may connect with another group entirely--a group that you believe is influencing your teen in a negative way. If you think your teen has fallen in with the wrong crowd, you may want to take the following steps to intervene.

Talk to Your Teen

If you've been on autopilot for a while with your teen and the lines of communication are a little dusty, spending more time with your teen is often in order. If your teen knows you care about what's going on in their life, they will be more likely to listen to what you have to say. The way you approach talking about your teen's friends is crucial. Teens will defend their friends to the death and will often shut down and close themselves off to you if they feel you are attacking them. Instead, first talk about how your teen's behavior has changed since he or she started hanging out with a particular group of friends. Firmly explain what types of behavior are acceptable and unacceptable.
When you finally broach the topic of your teen's friends, make sure you discuss the specific types of behavior they exhibit that you're unhappy with, rather than vague, sweeping criticisms. Doing this lessens the chances of your teen thinking you just blindly hate their friends for no reason. For example, "I think that so-and-so is disrespectful of his parents. I saw him cussing out his mother in the parking lot after the basketball game. That's not okay, and I don't want you to think it's okay to treat me that way either."

Invite the Friends over

Typical responses when you talk to your teen about his or her friends are "You don't even KNOW my friends!" or "You just don't understand." If this is the case, open up your home and have your teen's friends over a time or two. Order in some pizzas and spend some time with them. Make an honest attempt at building a relationship with them. You don't have to hover, but get an idea of who they are, their personalities and what makes them tick. This is an important part of assessing your teen's circle of friends. Sometimes they're not as bad as their hard exterior and crazy hair lead you to believe.

Get to Know Their Friends' Parents

If your child is getting into trouble with a group of friends, chances are there are a couple other parents out there who aren't happy about it either. Get in touch with the parents of your teen's friends and discuss what you can do to counter what's happening when your teens get together. While it's tempting to play the blame game, don't fall into that trap. You don't want to ostracize the adult(s) who can help reinforce any separation or disciplinary action you have to take.

Find Positive Mentors

Finally, is there an old friend of your teen's who's doing well in school and could talk to your teen about his or her behavior and choice of friends? Is there a trusted family member, older teen or 20-something that your teen looks up to who could take them under their wing? If your teen won't listen to your warnings about their friends, perhaps they will listen to someone who's been in their shoes more recently.

By-line:
Kitty Holman, regularly writes on the topics of nursing colleges. She welcomes your comments at her email Id: kitty.holman20@gmail.com.

Be an educated parent, you will have safer and healthier teens.

Read more.